Omar And The Bejeweled Rooster:      by  Bill and PM--Maria

 

 

     There it was, a golden palace in the middle of the desert. The path leading toward the gate was carpeted with peacock feathers and lined with sweet-smelling plants. Red and orange colors were everywhere between the palm trees that were moving softly in the wind.  Bliss was written in large letters across my face, and I smiled a toothy grin, thinking of my lover. 

 

Stars were twinkling in my eyes and fire was burning my skin while a terrible feeling was coming over me. Stars should twinkle at night, and it was only around noon, so I knew that something was terribly wrong.

 

      And why that feeling of burning fire?   Looking down with the practiced eye of a desert scavenger, it didn't take me long to spot the honey cake dropped by someone on the peacock path earlier in the day, and the swarm of fire ants crawling all over it -- and my feet.

 

     Some of them had fast growing burning wings and turned into new small insects with golden eyes. I told them that they were beautiful, that their eyes matched the color of the golden palace, and their burning wings combined nicely with the red and orange flowers growing between the palm trees.

 

     I didn’t expect an answer, so i was shocked by hearing a low voice, saying: go away, what you want is very dangerous. Needless to say, hearing that warning made me examine very closely what it was I wanted, and in what ways wanting it might be dangerous to me.

 

     Then I remembered my sweet love imprisoned in the golden palace and his screaming in the night far over the desert. Omar's normally golden singing voice had become quite brassy from so much screaming, and I had come to see if anything was bothering him. But how could i enter this prison that looks like a palace? Once I passed through the jeweled gates would I, too, become a prisoner? Or should I play the part of a visiting prince, so they would let me in and give me the key to find my love?

 

     It's kind of hard to pass for a prince when one is poor, though, and being given the key would be much too easy for a good adventure, so I decided to play the part of a safety inspector instead.  I plucked a feather from the golden wing of a bird I saw and jewels from the eyes of a golden idol in order to have at least some money to spend.

 

     Unfortunately, my thievery was spotted by a policeman, but I explained my actions in keeping with my role as safety inspector.  I needed to pluck the golden feather to test the bird's flight ability, and the jewels from the idol in order to protect motorists from distracting reflections when the sun was very bright.

 

      I knew when the policeman asked for my license that I couldn't show it, so I showed a cheap receipt I found among the toys of my sister's son. He looked at me rather strangely, but since he couldn't read anyway he just told me to go about my business inspecting things, protecting the safety of the citizens.  I smiled, because I knew there were no citizens; only my lover and maybe some other prisoners, kept there because of their beautiful voices.

 

     Before entering the gate, I first inspected the policeman's sword to make sure it was dull, and then pasted a "Safety - Approved" sticker to it. Then, at the very moment I started walking toward the door, I heard some men singing very sad songs, like frozen raindrops. "Please excuse me", I said to the policeman, "but I must investigate the source of these frozen raindrops, because they are like marbles on the floor, and someone could slip on them and fall.”

 

     "Yes its strange, now that you mention it", he replied, "so please hurry on, find the source of the frozen raindrops and arrest those dangerous people."

 

     Quickly, I removed my shoes at the door, in order to move more quietly, and I passed into the palace. But at the end of the corridor was a big heavy old door with lots of iron locks made of gold. I knew they were an illusion, however, since iron locks are almost always made of iron, so I cast a Three Bears spell at the Goldilocks, and they opened right away.

 

      I had better not go any further, I thought to myself, as I felt a cold breeze and sensed that danger was all around. The cold breeze, in itself, could be dangerous, since besides opening the Goldilocks, the Three Bears spell also made me bare and I didn't want to catch a cold.

 

     On the good side, however, now that I was so much more sensitive, I could easily hear the frozen voices in the cold air that was all around me.   Some were like whispered secrets, and some were whining complaints. Among the moments that I could hear the secrets, some were telling how to set the prisoners free. Unfortunately, since I was naked, I didn't have my pen or my pocket notepad to write down the instructions, so I had to rely on my notoriously forgetful memory. 

 

     One of the voices said, "If you are naked you can feel the way how to make me happy, just listen to your body. "OK," I replied telepathically, "I'm listening, but I came here to set you free, not just to make you happy." 

 

     "When you make me happy, I am free, so please think about it very hard," replied the voice. So, I listened to my body and thought very hard, but since I was so nervous about doing it right, mostly what I heard was just the sounds of indigestion.

 

     But then i remembered my golden feather and the jewels, hung the jewels all over my body and stuck the feather in my ass.  Thus disguised as a bejeweled rooster, I knew I could sneak past any of the guards as I entered the spiral staircase ahead of me that rose up into the tower toward the prison above.

 

     The things I saw were amazing; glittery and shiny at the same time, and I couldn't move or speak, feeling as foolish as I looked. This was definitely not a poor man's prison, and I began to wonder if there was a waiting list to get into it.

 

     "Well, well, who's up there", a voice said, while in front of me I saw a man dressed like a sultan, but with no face I could see.

 

     "It's just me, the bejeweled rooster", I crowed, as I strutted nakedly up to him, "come to check out the facilities."

 

     "Are you the man lover of Omar and willing to do everything to make him happy and bring him home safely?", asked the sultan.

 

     "What?, I don't look like a bejeweled rooster to you?", I replied, amazed that anybody could see through my clever disguise.

 

     “Nope, I remember your face and your voice," he said.

 

     "Ah well, I tried, but since we were on the subject just a second ago, what exactly is it that Omar needs to be happy here in this fancy resort of a prison, and now that I've seen it, why would he ever want to leave?” 

 

     “With all this kingdom he is missing the real love in his life.”

 

     “I take it you're not referring to his pet hamster, so you must mean me", I crowed.

 

     "Yes I do, but you have to prove how far you are willing to go to set him free from this prison", was the answer.

 

    "Hey, I've already come uncountable miles through the burning sands of the desert, braved the guardians of this castle, and lost my dignity by parading in here as a bejeweled rooster with a feather up my ass, so what more do you want?"

 

     "Come in and see what I mean the sultan said and opened a very big door while steam came out the room behind. When the door opened I heard again the sad songs of the men, only louder, and realized that this steamy room must be the source of the frozen raindrops.

 

     There he was in the middle of the steam, Omar, the love of my life, dressed all in gold like a prince, but without eyes, and I realized he surely would want my eyes since he’s a painter. So, since I always carry two, I popped out one of my eyes and gave it to him, believing that I had equal need for my remaining eye, since I read a lot and also need to be able to see to appreciate Omar's paintings.

 

     Like a miracle, the moment he took my eye, I could see very clearly and his eyes both were shining like stars ,his voice was like honey and there was the most beautiful music all around.

 

     Amazed at the improvement in my vision, I quickly offered Omar one of my ears, too, since I had been slowly going deaf over the past few years.  To my surprise, he just laughed very loudly and threw my ear away, as thunder rolled over me and I collapsed.

 

 

It was then that I realized Omar had no appreciation at all for my body parts any more, and I decided not to give him a piece of my mind for fear he would throw that away, too.

 

 

      I stood up, turned around and walked slowly out of the palace, feeling very light to know it was a mistake to love Omar.

 

     Just as I was leaving the palace grounds, though, Omar came racing after me with my ear, tears running out of the eye I had given him. While he was pleading for me to forgive him, I got  my eye and ear back, noticing that my hearing was now very good.

 

     After that, I thanked Omar for returning my eye and ear, gave him a white cane and a cup as a going away presents, wished him a Happy New Year, and headed back out into the desert whistling a merry tune and enjoying the beauty that is to be found in all of nature.

 

--- The End.