New Years Resolutions You Can Keep

From Mikey's Funnies

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Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

~ Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

~ Stop exercising. Waste of time.

~ Read less. Makes you think.

~ Watch more TV.

~ Procrastinate more--starting tomorrow.

~ Take a vacation to someplace important--like to see the world's largest ball of twine.

~ Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

~ Stop bringing lunch from home--eat out more.

~ Don't have eight children at once.

~ Get in a whole NEW rut!

~ Personal goal: Don't bring back disco.

~ Don't box with Mike Tyson.

~ Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.

~ Spend summer vacation in cyberspace.

~ Don't eat cloned meat.

~ Create loose ends.

~ Get more toys.

~ Get further in debt.

~ Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.

~ Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.

~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.

~ Wait for opportunity to knock.

~ Never make New Year's resolutions again.

-- Author Unknown

'by the Blood of JESUS, through the HOLY SPIRIT and according to GOD's Word'

God gives us many blessings, but most of all God gives us Jesus Christ!