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“My magazine and teen anguish phaze…”

~ My subscription to Teen has lasted from the summer of 5th grade to now, when I am about to be a senior in high school. The pathetic thing is the only time I ever read it is when I’m dissecting what Katie Holmes wore to her last premiere with my “school” friends. In the July 2001 edition the cover page is… who else but the queen of pop herself, Britney Spears… the question still continues to befuddle the mind, “Do rock stars make cruddy boyfriends?”
~ Montage to YM (Young and Modern or as I like to call it, Young and Mutilated)
May 2001- Mandy Moor and 75 free bikinis! What more could you ask for… gag. But then, just because I actually have tits I can’t wear a bikini made of 2 pieces or lycra tied together with spandex strings. Also on the May 2001 cover is Jennifer Aniston’s High School Diary (Oh, what I would have given to be in her schoes – if you missed the sarcasm there then you have a serious delusional problem and should seek psychiatric help, like over 50% of the teenage population in America)… Tons of CUTE SURFER BOYS… yummy.
“The Seventeen Years” also subscribed to for a majority of my “adult” life…
May 2001 - on the cover… surprise, surprise, it’s the girls from Friends. Seventeen and YM have happened to get the same story line during the same month, but at least not the same cover. Also in this issue- GUY WATCH speedo or surfer shorts? and… best bottoms for your butt tops that tease and please… I may spend an hour finding the right pair of stilleto heels to kick butt in, but at least I don’t spend all day deliberating between the many styles of swimsuit bottoms, hmm… boy shorts, string bikini, thong, but never, oh never ever a one piece, oh the humanity.
~ And now on to on of the few Fashion/Teen magazines I at least flip through with my eyes open… ALLURE the beauty expert
On the June 2001 cover is Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy for all you BtVS fans) and underneath is “Sarah Michelle Gellar: And Her Tortured Inner Brunette” Also in this issue is “Bronzing 101: Faking a Face Tan” which I actually like because I don’t want to end up as a prune when I’m 60 with a bad case of melanoma.
…And so ends my montage to the teen fashion victim magazines of America… There are several other zines I have sporadically read like Twist, CosmoGirl, and TeenPeople, but the four aforementioned magazines are the ones I have had subscriptions to for over a year, thanks to the doting love of a ditsy grandmother.