But what I really like is love. So when I go out in the night time, I'm interested in having fun. I rarely consider the fact I might meet some girl who likes me, I actually count on it not happening. I have a lot of friends, and I know what it's like to be in a relationship, epecially with self-absorbed people. Not to mention I'm very self-absorbed sometimes, and I like to be alone occasionally. I am social and shy all at once.
So I went out the other day, to the Vieux Carre. Yeah, it's a mostly gay bar, but they have really good music. I love it. I can dance. I think of the Bjork song, "Scary" as I write this, though. "No courage for love... to scared to be happy..." And tomorrow passed us by. But I met someone who actually did want to talk to me. But today, I felt hundreds of miles away. I could not look you in the eyes, and I felt really odd. My mind was somewhere else, probably where the Greys want it to be or something.
But it doesn't scare me at all. I can't say no to hope. I felt really inadequate. I hadn't washed my hair and you know that isn't what's important to me. My grand-mother like to diminish my self esteem by constantly bitching at me. FUck that. I'm really sorry for even having an excuse...
THERE'S NO EXCUSE NOT TO BE HAPPY !!!! Same rules apply for all of you who think work or school is the most important thing. Stop wishing there wasn't a system and do something about it...
Bleating Hearts
But on the other hand, there's Donald's 4 track. I've got it but I can never remember to bring it. Or I am waiting to surprise myself by bringing it. but you hit me and try to wrestle me to the ground and that makes me wonder if you're a friend or a loan sharky. But, you know, it's yours and I'm making good use of it and I haven't sold it for cash, no matter how far in the hole I'm in...
Oh, I am definitely moving away to a faerie glade somewhere. Those who know what I am talking about please pray for me... Thank you and blessings be to this unhampered rant which I probably wouldn't have wrote without guts...
You are welcome fellow traveller for your cup of coffee and my warm car's embrace. However, that chick I met at gorin's the other Thursday
some time ago... we went to the roof... what did you expect? That I would just allow you to let you call me after kissing DANSBY? I am not a whore and I am not easy and you cannot CANNOT have my phone number, mainly because if you called, you wouldn't have anything to really say, anyway.... Sorry.
Just the other day...
How long has it been? Aeons since pure coffee, holding onto the
reins of sanity, piping hot brew, spilling froth from the cup directly into my
lap. Not necessarily what I crave but good enough for now.
How about today?
Or how about her? Is she going to be the perfect porn star, someday?
Always showcasing her talent of disappearing into the limelight? Well, you know
what. I'm not concerned with her, but my very own purity and sanity, and the endless
pursuit of the caffiene.