June 27

I went to Florida... I've never really cared much for airplanes, and I still don't. There's something about the idea that screw-ups of any kind will kill me that just doesn't sit well with me. But I can fake being calm very effectively, except for the ice-cold hands.

One of the stewards - oh, excuse me - one of the flight attendants tried to comfort me when I casually mentioned my concerns to him - "Don't you believe in fate, that when it's your time to go, it'll happen no matter where you are?" I said, "That may be true, I know I'm going to die sooner or later. I'd just prefer that when my time comes, I'm not screaming with my hair on fire, in a cabin full of other screaming people."

He left me alone after that.

I arrived in Ft. Lauderdale without incident. To say that I was improperly dressed for the weather would be an incredible understatement. I didn't have much choice, though - I haven't really pulled out my summer wardrobe yet (I sure hope it fits).

They put me up in this really swank hotel with a particularly gorgeous view of the expressway. I'm told that the view is much nicer on the other side of the building, but I didn't really have a chance to see. I pretty much stayed in my room, read my book, and took advantage of the room service (which was covered by the company - I was simply told not to order the lobster).

The next day, I got my suit on, braved the inferno, and met everyone that I needed to meet. It went pretty well, and they were a really nice bunch of people. They were pleasant, friendly, knowledgeable. They made me feel really comfortable and welcome, I did my best to answer all of their questions, and at the end of the day, I was told to expect an offer letter on the following Monday. They also told me that my employment (should I choose to accept the offer) was conditional upon my returning to Florida two weeks later to learn about procedures and policies.

I didn't even give the offer a second thought once I received the letter. It was a pretty sweet deal. So, this is my fifth week with the job, and things are going pretty well. It's a little far from home, and the hours are a little long, but I'm capable of doing the work, I like most of the people, and my closest superior is 1,200 miles away. What's not to like?

I must admit, though, that there is one problem to being the Network Administrator. The thing is, if I'm doing my job right, nothing goes wrong. So to everyone else, it probably looks like I don't doanything. And a smooth operation can sometimes get a little boring. I definitely don't want to appear bored, so I spend a good bit of my time trying to look busier than I actually am (now, for example).

I know I'm having a hard time showing my enthusiasm, though. It seems like in the past, every time I've gotten excited about something, I've had bad news shortly thereafter. So, I'm just going to say that I'm glad things are going well, and I hope they continue to.

Also in the news...

During the past month, I've spent more time talking to the woman whose ad I responded to. Her name is Christina. We've been mailing, chatting, talking quite a bit. She's told me all of these things about her life, and I've told her all of these things about mine. And two Saturdays ago, six weeks after we "met", we met.

We were fortunate - it was a gorgeous day. I took the train up (she lives about an hour north of me) - she agreed to meet me at the station. Mind you, I had no photo of her to go by - just what she'd told me of her - 5'3, long hair, top-heavy, generally cute and rubenesque. So when I saw this gorgeous woman standing there with this big smile, I was floored. She's a classical painting - pounds of thick, dark hair, a placid countenance, and beautiful green eyes that sparkle when she smiles.

We spent the entire day by the lake, just sitting. A little talking, but mostly sitting, listening to the sounds of the water, and smiling at each other. I never knew it could be so good. I'd always suspected, but I could never prove it until that day. It was exquisite, just being able to quietly enjoy another person's company, with the sounds of nature (and playing children) all around us.

We spent six hours there, just doing nothing in particular. It was a great day.

At the end of the day, when I had to catch my train back to the city, I really didn't want the day to end. I hated having to leave so early (last train was at 8:50 or so). Christina stayed with me while I was waiting for the train to come. We kept trying to hug, but people insisted upon interrupting us in mid-hug - one fellow wanted to know when the train was coming, another wanted to sell us a ticket (I swear, I wanted to say nasty things to the guy - you don't just walk up to a pair of strangers who are in the middle of an embrace and try to sell them something - it's rude). Then, when we finally got rid of everyone, and started trying to hug again, the train approached, and the crossing bell was directly over our heads.

We stuck with it, though, since it was our last chance. And then, when I finally couldn't stand it anymore, I stepped back, looked into those pretty green eyes, and kissed her. I don't know what surprised me more - the fact that I kissed her, the fact that I remembered how to do it, the fact that I didn't miss and end up kissing her nose, or the fact that Christina kissed me back. It seemed as if it lasted for minutes, but the next time I opened my eyes, the train was still a few yards away, and I could see my heart pounding under my sweater. Christina made a quip, I quipped back, she gave me one last hug, and I ended up having to jog to the train before it pulled away.

Um... wow.

I've really been having trouble getting this entry done, because I really don't know what to say. All that took place almost 10 days ago, and I still don't know what to say. Christina and I have gotten close, but we're trying to take things slowly - I'm not in any hurry, and I want to be sure I'm keeping my head - there's no sense of urgency the way there was with other certain people. I don't have to force it, or wonder about it, or worry about it - it just feels like I'm in the right place. Christina is very unused to being treated the way she is and feeling the way she does (she, too, can count her former lovers on a single hand), and she needs time to adjust, and to learn how to handle this... whatever it is.

I'm scared to call it anything, really - I'm worried about jinxing it, and I honestly can't handle the thought of not having Christina around anymore. I really like her a lot. Intensely, and genuinely, and entirely. And the really trippy thing is, she says the same things about me.

So, I'm just going to say that I'm glad things are going well, and I hope they continue to.