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THINGS TO MAKE YOU LAUGH!!!

JOKE SECTION! YAYY!

A man goes hunting, and after climbing a steep cliff, comes face to face with a bear.
The bear growls fiercly, and the man, startled, falls backwards down the hill. During his descent, he drops his gun.
As he stops at the bottom, he realizes that both his legs are broken, and there is no hope in his escape.
In a desperate attempt to save his life, he crys out, "Lord, make this bear a Christian, and I will gladly take whatever lot You hand me."
The bear stops in his tracks, looks quizically up to the heavens, and calls in a deep, loud voice,

"o Lord, bless this food of which I am about to partake!"

ACTUAL HEADLINES

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House

The Pope arrived at the airport to give a major keynote address. He got into a taxi and asked the taxi driver to drive as quickly as he could so he would arrive on time. But the driver was very slow, so the Pope, in exasperation, finally told the driver to get in the back seat and took the wheel himself. He proceeded to drive 80 miles an hour in an effort to arrive before his speech was to begin.
A policeman stopped the car and asked the Pope for his driver`s license, which he provided. The policeman went back to his cruiser and radioed the supervisor. "Boss, we got a big problem. I stopped a car for speeding, and we are dealing with a big enchilada. What should I do?" "How big?" asked the police captain. "The biggest you could imagine," replied the patrolman. "The president of the United States?" cried the captain, in disbelief. "Bigger than that," said the patrolman.
"Who is this guy???," asked the captain.
"I don`t know," replied the patrolman, "but the Pope is his chauffeur."

VERY SHORT BOOKS
Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
The Easy Parts of UNIX
Everything Men Know About Women
Al Gore: The Wild Years
Staple Your Way to Success
The Amish Phone Book
Cheerful Country Music Hits
The Art of Pencil Sharpening
The Family Cat Vocabulary Book
Ways to Avoid Using Microsoft Software

LIFES QUESTIONS
Is there another word for synonym?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Why isn`t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them??
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
When a cow laughs, does milk come up it`s nose?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do you know when it`s time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don`t eat clowns because they taste funny?

I will be adding a email form here so you can email in your great jokes and I can make this page decent! ;)