Ways to say someone's stupid....
About as sharp as a marble
A few clowns short of a circus
All foam, no beer
No cheese on his cracker
He forgot to pay his brain bill
Missing a few buttons on his remote control
Proof that evolution can go in reverse
The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead
Once while working as a reservationist for a white water rafting company, a woman called in to make a reservation for a group. As part of my script I asked her if there were any minors in the party. There was a very uncomfortable pause until she said, "Well, my husband does work for an engineering firm that designs mining equipment. Does that count?" Without missing a beat, I calmly explained that I meant Were there any individuals who were under the age of 18? We let them go rafting anyway.
One day in AP US History class there was a student that has family in India and he is Indian. The professor asked him, "Shawn, you are Indian right?" One of the other brilliant students said, "Really? What tribe?"
Last year in my athletics class, a friend of mine brought a wax hand to class. The hand was making the "peace" sign. Well, she showed it to everyone. Then another friend came in and asked her why she got #2 and not #1. That's a true blonde moment. We still laugh about it.
I was in the car with some friends and the driver asked for some help backing up because he could not see where he was turning well enough. So, a guy gets out of the car, stands to the side and starts giving directions. This is what I hear: "Ok, you're fine. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going." (CRASH!) "Ok....stop!"
One afternoon a lady walked into the travel agency where I work and asked how much it would cost to take Amtrak to Hawaii.
Dumb Instructions...
I bought a new lawnmower and opened the box and inside the box was the instructions. I was reading the instructions and on the first page was instructions on how to open the box. After a few weeks I bought an Air Conditioner and the same thing happened. How is it possible to get the instructions out so you know how to open the box "properly" instead of opening it "improperly?"
On cigarette lighters: 1) Do not light near face 2) Do not use near heat or flame 3) Be sure to extinguish flame before putting away.
On a jelly jar scents home fragrance purchased at Bath and Body Works, the label reads "DO NOT EAT! For home fragrance only." You know some stupid person tried to spread it on some toast or the label would not be there.
Seen on a fruit roll up. WARNING: REMOVE CELLOPHANE WRAPPER BEFORE EATING.
Label on cape for "Superman" costume - WARNING: THIS CAPE WILL NOT MAKE YOU FLY.
Seen on the label of an industrial germicidal cleaner: "If you can not read English, do not use this product until someone explains this label to you." I have no comment on this one. That just says it all right there...
What's that for?
A blank page with "This page is left blank intentionally". This really ticks me off because: 1) It's not blank if you print "This page is left....." on it. 2) It looks stupid. submitted by David Actually a response to "Pages Left Intentionally Blank." I almost always turn in exams with pages saying, "no exam material on this page" and "this space left intentionally blank."
Stupid signs....
Government Employer looking for candidates. Criminal Background required.
"NO PARKING IN PARKING LOT"
Seen in a travel brochure for a place in Nova Scotia: "Don't take a chance on ruining your vacation - come to us and be sure."
Sign in a jewelry store in Owen Sound Ont. "Ears pierced while you wait"
In Ferndale, MI there is a foot doctors office that has a sign reading - "Walk in Emergency"
sign under a bridge:WHEN THIS SIGN CANNOT BE READ OR SEEN, THIS AREA HAS BEEN FLOODED.!
"Please do not place anything in toilets other than toilet paper"
