Day Trip to Nazareth Refunds

INSPECTOR [To crowds:] Nazareth day-trip ticket refunds here.  Refunds on your
		tickets.  Get your refunds.

PHARISEE	What are you doing?

INSPECTOR	Giving people their money back.

PHARISEE	Why?

INSPECTOR	Because they only came to be healed by Jesus and you stopped
		it happening.

PHARISEE	How do you mean ‘We stopped it happening?’

INSPECTOR	You and all the others in the local council.  It’s all your fault
		the visitors weren’t healed, so I’m acting on my authority as chief
		inspector of day-trip-to-Nazareth tickets and refunding them.

PHARISEE	We didn’t stop anything.  We were not happy about what he was
		saying and doing, but we didn’t stop anything.

INSPECTOR	Yes you did, you put on the biggest display of unbelief since the
		flood.  If you and the rest of the council had been around in
		Noah’s day, you would have been organising an
		eat-drink-and-be-merry evening instead of getting on board the ark.

PHARISEE	It was our duty to protect the gullible.

INSPECTOR	What, like the gullible maniacs who stop terrorising their
		neighbourhoods, or the gullible lepers who find they can come back
		into society, or the gullible blind beggars who leave their choice
		begging sites and walk home on their own for the first time in
		decades.

PHARISEE	Don’t tell me you believe all that stuff about him.

INSPECTOR	I came to listen with an open mind.

PHARISEE	But he’s always been such an odd ball.  Do you remember our R.E.
		lessons at school?  Our teacher asked ‘What did Abraham give God to
		eat when he came to visit his tent?’

INSPECTOR	Yeah, and Jesus said “Bread and milk, curds and calf meat and
		it didn’t half taste yummy!” [rubs tummy imitating the boy Jesus]

PHARISEE	And that time when the teacher asked “Who was in the fiery
		furnace?” and the only two to put their hands up were Jesus and Ben
		Jacobs.  We all thought Jesus was going to be clever and say
		Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

INSPECTOR	But he said, “Please Sir, I don’t remember Ben Jacobs being there.”

PHARISEE	Well I hope your open mind’s been made up now that he’s failed.
		He’s a phoney, out to do people out of their savings.

INSPECTOR	But he doesn’t have anything but the bare essentials.  No worldly
		security.  No house, no transport, no land.  He’s not doing people
		out of anything.

PHARISEE	He’s deluded then.  He thinks he is the Son of God.  It comes from
		knowing that Joseph wasn’t his real father.  No one knows who was.

INSPECTOR	Joseph taught him all he knew.  Jesus listened to him more than any
		of us did to our fathers.  He was more balanced growing up than any
		of us.

PHARISEE	Then why did he leave his family and cause them so much worry?
		That’s not what a good son does.

INSPECTOR	Don’t you think he heard a stronger call to do what he is doing?
		He was a pretty good carpenter, but he’s a brilliant preacher.

PHARISEE	How can he be a brilliant preacher?  He’s got no certificate.  He
		wasn’t anyone’s disciple in particular.  He’s no Rabbi; I bet he
		doesn’t even know how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

INSPECTOR	No, but he knows how to get camels through the eyes of needles.

PHARISEE	Camels through eyes of needles?  That’s impossible!

INSPECTOR	So is getting into the kingdom while you’re attached to worldly
		things, but God’s power can change people.

PHARISEE	Well, while we’re on the subject of the impossible, Jesus totally
		failed to heal that crowd of folk that came especially to see him
		today.

INSPECTOR	How many people get healed in Nazareth on average?

PHARISEE	About one every now and again, when God in his wisdom hears the
		prayers of a properly certificated preacher and healer who has the
		backing of the synagogue council.

INSPECTOR	And how many were healed today?

PHARISEE	None!

INSPECTOR	Well that’s where you’re wrong!  As Jesus left the platform and got
		to the edge of the crowd, away from your orchestrated protests, he
		saw faith in the eyes of a few who were sick and placed his hands
		on them and they were healed.  Sometimes it’s the person’s faith
		that lets God’s power through, sometimes their friends’ faith, like
		in that house in Capernaum and sometimes the faith of the listeners
		or his disciples or the synagogue worshippers.

PHARISEE	He said himself he couldn’t do any mighty work here in this town
		because of unbelief.  He admitted defeat.

INSPECTOR	Well his defeat, as you put it, still meant there were more people
		healed in Nazareth today than in the last ten years.  Just think
		what could have happened if your mind had been open too.

PHARISEE	You can say what you like; I for one don’t believe it.

INSPECTOR	And that’s been your trouble all along.  [To crowds:] Get your
		refunds here and fifty percent discounts on day-trip-to-Capernaum
		tickets.