Day Trip to Nazareth Refunds
Richard B Gillion
INSPECTOR [To crowds:] Nazareth day-trip ticket refunds here. Refunds on your
tickets. Get your refunds.
PHARISEE What are you doing?
INSPECTOR Giving people their money back.
INSPECTOR Because they only came to be healed by Jesus and you stopped
PHARISEE How do you mean ĎWe stopped it happening?í
INSPECTOR You and all the others in the local council. Itís all your fault
the visitors werenít healed, so Iím acting on my authority as chief
inspector of day-trip-to-Nazareth tickets and refunding them.
PHARISEE We didnít stop anything. We were not happy about what he was
saying and doing, but we didnít stop anything.
INSPECTOR Yes you did, you put on the biggest display of unbelief since the
flood. If you and the rest of the council had been around in
Noahís day, you would have been organising an
eat-drink-and-be-merry evening instead of getting on board the ark.
PHARISEE It was our duty to protect the gullible.
INSPECTOR What, like the gullible maniacs who stop terrorising their
neighbourhoods, or the gullible lepers who find they can come back
into society, or the gullible blind beggars who leave their choice
begging sites and walk home on their own for the first time in
PHARISEE Donít tell me you believe all that stuff about him.
INSPECTOR I came to listen with an open mind.
PHARISEE But heís always been such an odd ball. Do you remember our R.E.
lessons at school? Our teacher asked ĎWhat did Abraham give God to
eat when he came to visit his tent?í
INSPECTOR Yeah, and Jesus said ďBread and milk, curds and calf meat and
it didnít half taste yummy!Ē [rubs tummy imitating the boy Jesus]
PHARISEE And that time when the teacher asked ďWho was in the fiery
furnace?Ē and the only two to put their hands up were Jesus and Ben
Jacobs. We all thought Jesus was going to be clever and say
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
INSPECTOR But he said, ďPlease Sir, I donít remember Ben Jacobs being there.Ē
PHARISEE Well I hope your open mindís been made up now that heís failed.
Heís a phoney, out to do people out of their savings.
INSPECTOR But he doesnít have anything but the bare essentials. No worldly
security. No house, no transport, no land. Heís not doing people
out of anything.
PHARISEE Heís deluded then. He thinks he is the Son of God. It comes from
knowing that Joseph wasnít his real father. No one knows who was.
INSPECTOR Joseph taught him all he knew. Jesus listened to him more than any
of us did to our fathers. He was more balanced growing up than any
PHARISEE Then why did he leave his family and cause them so much worry?
Thatís not what a good son does.
INSPECTOR Donít you think he heard a stronger call to do what he is doing?
He was a pretty good carpenter, but heís a brilliant preacher.
PHARISEE How can he be a brilliant preacher? Heís got no certificate. He
wasnít anyoneís disciple in particular. Heís no Rabbi; I bet he
doesnít even know how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.
INSPECTOR No, but he knows how to get camels through the eyes of needles.
PHARISEE Camels through eyes of needles? Thatís impossible!
INSPECTOR So is getting into the kingdom while youíre attached to worldly
things, but Godís power can change people.
PHARISEE Well, while weíre on the subject of the impossible, Jesus totally
failed to heal that crowd of folk that came especially to see him
INSPECTOR How many people get healed in Nazareth on average?
PHARISEE About one every now and again, when God in his wisdom hears the
prayers of a properly certificated preacher and healer who has the
backing of the synagogue council.
INSPECTOR And how many were healed today?
INSPECTOR Well thatís where youíre wrong! As Jesus left the platform and got
to the edge of the crowd, away from your orchestrated protests, he
saw faith in the eyes of a few who were sick and placed his hands
on them and they were healed. Sometimes itís the personís faith
that lets Godís power through, sometimes their friendsí faith, like
in that house in Capernaum and sometimes the faith of the listeners
or his disciples or the synagogue worshippers.
PHARISEE He said himself he couldnít do any mighty work here in this town
because of unbelief. He admitted defeat.
INSPECTOR Well his defeat, as you put it, still meant there were more people
healed in Nazareth today than in the last ten years. Just think
what could have happened if your mind had been open too.
PHARISEE You can say what you like; I for one donít believe it.
INSPECTOR And thatís been your trouble all along. [To crowds:] Get your
refunds here and fifty percent discounts on day-trip-to-Capernaum
RTF version of this sketch