Richard B Gillion

Doctor	Next please.  Ah, good morning, Mr Jones.  Take a seat.

Patient	Thank you, Doctor.

Doctor	What can I do for you?

Patient	Iíve had a nasty infection in my throat for three weeks and itís not
        getting any better.
Doctor	I think I could . . .

Patient	And another thing, Iíve got so much wax in my ears I canít hear the
        television unless itís too loud for the rest of the family.

Doctor	Well that can be . . .

Patient	And Iíve got this cough which keeps me awake at night and wakes up the
        children too.

Doctor	I really think you should let me. . .

Patient	And this pain in my hip means I ought really to be seeing a specialist,
	but my wife said I would have to see you first.

Doctor  I can refer . . .

Patient Weíre running out of eye drops for grandma and the girlsí asthma is
        getting worse and what with my wifeís sleepwalking, I think Iíve got a
        headache from the stress, but I donít suppose you can do anything about

Doctor	Well I wouldnít jump to conclu...

Patient	Weíre really worried about all the diseases that we could contract when we
        we go to Portugal next month and my back problem means I donít know how
        Iíll cope with the suitcases.

Doctor	Letís deal with things one at a...

Patient	Itís good to know that the surgery is so near.  Iíll try to come again
        before I get so many different things to tell you about.

Doctor	What about ... ?

Patient	Thank you for listening, Doctor, youíre so helpful.  Goodbye.

RTF version of this sketch