The Star Of The Counting Down

Her mother was Welsh and her Father was Dutch
  She was born on Christmas Eve
Then her father left and they were bereft
  But they didn't stay in Bedford to grieve
By her mother she was raised In the North of Wales
  Prestatyn's the name of the town
And you know her well as I'll shortly tell
  She was star of the Counting Down

    From the North Wales shore unto Channel Four
      Calculating with ne'er a frown
    There's no girl I've seen like the TV queen
      Who was star of the Counting Down

To Cambridge she went to study her intent
  To become an engineer
In Leeds she then planned to join a band
  Though its name you will seldom hear
They had very few hits as Dawn Chorus and Blue Tits
  And never gained renown
But her time would come thanks to her Mum
  As the star of the Counting Down

When the clocks chimed four it was all out war
  To get a seat home on the bus
And students it's said would get out of bed
  Be they idiot or genius
And in old folk homes just like catacombs
  Life would turn the place upside down
As they fought to get near the TV set
  For the star of the Counting Down

Now the maths it's said could go to your head
  And I'm not blowing my own trumpet
I was never last, but nowhere near as fast
  As the thinking fellow's crumpet
But I've given up clutching my tea cup
  Sitting in my dressing gown
Since they've changed the cast and got rid at last
  Of the star of the Counting Down