Dusten's Journal
July 23, ‘98
I just reread through all that stuff I wrote before, and all I can think about is how whoever reads this is going to think how terrible my life is, or how much of a loser I am. And if you want to think that, I really don’t care, because when I look back at all the stuff I fight my way through, it really doesn’t matter what one person thinks of you......unless it is that one person that you truly care about thinks.
I wanted to write this journal about simply that. I have always noticed that no matter how hard I work at trying to impress or get the attention of certain people (whether it be a college coach, a friend, or whatever) it never really works out. The people that I care for (like some other friends) but I know will ALWAYS be there for me, they notice. But not that “special someone.” It is kinda like this, if you fall and trip in front of some German guy (who you don’t know and he can’t even speak English), no big deal, right? But, if you trip and fall in front of that one person, the person you have been struggling inside to get up the courage just to talk to (because you know you would never even DREAM of asking them out or something like that), then you are in some deep shit. I mean, come on, when something like this happens to me, I end up dreading the next time I see this person, and I practically end up going out and hanging myself (don’t get any ideas, whoever is reading this). But you know what, this is something I have finally learned, on my own, the hard way, and I want whoever reads this not to have to go through all of the stuff I had to just to learn this....if that one person really cares for you, if that one person is really sincere and caring, if that one person is truly even worthy of YOU, then they will just let those mishaps go, and accept you for who you really, truly are.
AMEN to that Dusten.
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