Dusten's Journal
May 14, 1998
It may seem that I only write depressing stuff in this journal, which is probably true, but that is about the only time I need to get my feelings out. Otherwise, it just builds up and I can’t get it out. Anyways, today was just a fine day. . .until the little things that I know shouldn’t bother me started to. This probably seems really petty of me, but I had a couple of hairs sticking up, my upper lipper was all chapped and peeling, my nose was running like crazy, I was coughing all day, and I didn’t feel good, and all of this started bringing me down.
Then, at the end of the day I faced rejection number twenty five million to the fifth power. What is it with me? God, some things, no matter how smart my report card and people say I am, I just can’t figure some things out. Like, if you are told that you are the sweetest guy, so nice, and funny, the best personality, and that everyone says you would make the best husband, but yet you don’t get any respect. I guess those people are just lying to me, but I don’t know what else I can do. Maybe act all phony like some people, not be myself, but that isn’t me. I don’t see when things are going to start turning around. People tell me that my hardwork will pay off. . .but when? 50 years from now when it doesn’t even matter any more? Who gives a crap then? I am not saying I want or expect everything to work RIGHT NOW, but I just don’t see a sign of things getting any better. I thought I was getting out of that hole, but lately I have lost my grip and am slipping back in.
Post a message
Back to the main Journal Page
Next Journal Entry
