Without a doubt, he's MTV's hottest veejay. Find out the top ten ways to make Simon Rex sweat on a date.
1.) Make the first move. "I'm not very good at hitting on chicks. Usually, I get introduced to them or they come up and talk to me. I'm too shy to approach them first."
2.) Let him pick the movie. "I like going to see thrillers-that way, if my date gets scared she can grab my hand. I wouldn't want to go to a romantic comedy. It makes me really uncomfortable to watch love scenes when I'm with a girl I hardly know."
3.) Get weepy during emotional scenes. "I think it's so cute when a movie makes a girl cry. Sometimes I cry, too."
4.) Share his love with animals. "I wish I had a pet. Right now, I obsessed with little monkeys, like the one on Friends. I love cats too. If I had a girlfriend, I'd give her a kitten. That's a sure way to a girl's heart."
5.) Compliment his lean bod. He's a little self-consicious about it. "I think I'm too skinny. I've been trying to put on some weight, but I just can't. I even joined a gym so I can start lifting. I'd like to be about ten pounds heavier."
6.) Don't expect a first-date smooch session. "When I really like a girl, I'm too scared to kiss her on the first date. If I were to get the nerve, though, it definitely wouldn't be a French kiss-maybe just a little peck on the lips. I wouldn't want to blow it by being too pushy."
7.) If he does kiss you, keep your eyes closed. "I hate it when a girl keeps them open, but it's okay if she peeks now and then-I do. And she shouldn't kiss too fast. I like kisses that are nice and slow."
8.) Be romantic-and hungry. "The perfect date would be an evening at the beach house I'm renting in LA with an all-you-can-eat buffet. I'd put on some jazz, light candles and most important, turn off the TV. I wouldn't want anything to distract us."
9.) Stop the star-tripping. "I get turned off when a girl asks me lots of questions about my work. I want to be with someone who's into me, not The Guy from MTV."
10.) Forgive his klutziness.
"When I really like a girl, I spill things down my shirt and trip over
We were all shocked when Felicity gave up her virginity to sensitive artist Eli- played by Simon Rex, 25- instead of long-termed boyfriend Noel. Well, Rex won't be using a painter's palette as a prop to woo women anymore; he'll be drawing mean pints at the local pub as Mikey on the WB's Jack and Jill
Describe Jack and Jill's
From tolhouse23: How did
you get into the business?
Felicity's Eli Got Intimate with Wanda--and You!
From coco: Simon, will you be back on Felicity
as a regular, or do we have to say goodbye for good?
From joli32: What film are you working on right
From joli32: Simon, are you spoofing Freddie Prince
Jr. in the I Know... parody?
From clover21: Hi, Simon! I hear you're in an
upcoming episode of Buffy. Is that true? Who do you play?
From kierstin_a: What was it like to work on MTV?
From shaggy: Who is the coolest person you interviewed?
From milkisyummy: What's your favorite scary movie?
From nikitab: Is Felicity finished taping for
the season? How many episodes will you appear in for the season?
From joli32: What's your favorite spot in San
From simonrexy: Simon, do you have a girlfriend?
From kierstin_a: What's your favorite band?
From mollieg: Did Eli and Felicity...you know...have
sex? I've heard different things...
From scfratboy: Any upcoming movie projects? Pilots?
From enoira: How were you "discovered"?
From ds2587sp: Do you like acting with Keri Russell?
From slalo: How does it feel to know that all
of us Noel supporters can't stand Eli?
From scfratboy: I heard you went to USC, any truth?
If not, where did you go to college?
From kitkat_tink: What show would you most like
to guest on, aside from Felicity?
From milkisyummy: Boxers or briefs?
From ds2587sp: What's your favorite dessert?
From sweetcheeks2005: Are you still modeling?
From Wanda: How did you get involved in FX's Instant
Comedy at the Groundlings? Was it fun?
From kierstin_a: I already saw the show. (I live in Canada, so we get it on Sunday.) You looked so great in it. Thank you. And, Go Canucks!
From jsoto76458: Was it embarrassing to have a
lovemaking scene on your first TV show in front of all the crew?
From bellab18: Do you have any pets?
From ds2587sp: Is it true you're going to appear
in Scream 3?
From charmed1399: When you were a kid, what did
you want to grow up to be?
From krrunchee: Would you prefer to do film or
From anonymous: I'm so glad to see you back from
the MTV dead. Was it hard to break back in?
From onbway: Being an ex-MTV veejay, what is your
opinion on the veejay contest?
From stephie: What are both of the Scotts like?
From writefunny: Do you live on the East or West
From Nolie: In real life, would you rather Felicity
From Sulu: If you could describe yourself in one
word, what would it be?
From odcg: If you could act with any leading lady,
who would it be?
From sarahs: What do you do for fun when not filming?
From jackson: What's your favorite movie you've
seen this year?
From tigger: Do you come from a big family?
From xander1: If you could pick anyone to fight
on Celebrity Deathmatch, who would it be?
From Zuppo: What would I find in your refrigerator?
From dougie: If you could be any food, what would
you be and why?
From Sanyo: What actors do you look up to and
want to pattern your career after?
From lisie: What are the last four CDs you bought?
From Mandipie: What three things would you bring
if you were on a deserted island?
From troylove: What are some of your favorite
From Christie: What was the first concert you
ever went to?
From Jsoto: Are you more of an art guy like Eli,
or are you more into sports?
From Carlie: What actress in your own age range
would you like to work with?
From bobbo: Did you have any idols growing up?
From mookie: Who was a better kisser: Keri or
From monet1: You or Scott Foley in a Celeb Deathmatch?
From dougiefresh: Felicity or Julie in a fight?
From Charmed1399: What was your first job?
From Joli32: Do you think being good looking is
an advantage or a disadvantage in Hollywood?
n roll chat transcript
If you didn't happen to watch MTV back in the day when he was a vampy veejay, then you probably know him as Eli, the deflowering man from Felicity. And you will definitely know him as Mikey on the hot, new WB show Jack & Jill.
I think you are such a hottie! Are there any plans for Eli to make a guest
appearance on Felicity this season?
E! Online Host: Tell us about your character on Jack & Jill, which
by the way is a great new show.
bruceinnyc: What's it like going from well-known MTV veejay to
a new kid on the block as an actor?
Matt: What upcoming films do you have?
Tracy: What's your favorite show?
CDo: What do you like to do in your free time?
E! Online Host: We hear you're going to do L'Oréal hair-product
ads with Laetitia Casta, the Victoria's Secret model?
Ned: What do you think of Keri Russell's new haircut?
Jana: Are there any particular instances in your career that you
have regrets about? If so, what?
TV Guide: Tonight we are chattting with Simon Rex from television's Jack and Jill. Welcome Simon! Thanks for coming by to chat with us!!
Simon: My pleasure!
Question: Was Felicity your first break into television sitcoms... or were there other shows you were on before Felicity?
Simon: I worked on a sitcom the year before called Katie Joplin. Which was a WB sitcom. That was my first job. So Felicity was my second TV gig.
Question: What do you find more challenging working as an MTV VJ or doing TV or Movies?
Simon: I think acting in general is more challenging that being a VJ. It's more of an art. Being a VJ you're just being yourself, it's easy, you just kind of ham it up.
Question: Are you anything like your character?
Simon: Yeah, I'm a lot like Mikey, except I have my life together a little more than him. But we're similar in a lot of ways.
Question: Simon, what was your least favorite subject in high school?
Question: If you could choose one other career besides acting what would it be and why?
Simon: Musician, cause I enjoy music so much. That would be fun to be in a band or something.
Question: Is it hard to be an "everyday" person now that you are such a big success? What's changed from when you were just "plain Simon"?
Simon: Just my career has changed obviously. Now I'm working and my work structure has changed. What I'm doing is challenging and fun. My social life hasn't changed so much. It's pretty much the same right now though.
Question: What made you want to be on Jack and Jill?
Simon: I liked the script, it was funny. I liked the character a lot and it seemed natural.
Question: When did you start modeling?
Simon: When I was 18. It didn't pick up for about a year. Then it went well in NY, Milan and Paris; I did that whole thing.
Question: What were you like in high school?
Simon: I was the class clown. I got in trouble a bit, but I wasn't a bad kid, I was just messing around.
Question: Hey Simon, I am a big fan of your's! I was wondering if you liked working with the MTV crew or Jack and Jill crew better?!
Simon: I like them both a lot, it's hard to say which is better. They both had a great group of people. I love them both.
Question: So what's going to happen to Jack and Jill are they going to get together?
Simon: I don't want to give it away! Keep watching!
Question: What do you think about the current issues of school violence?
Simon: I think it's horrible of course. But I think we've gotten so used to it know, everything has gotten so violently lately, it seems like every week there is a tragedy, it doesn't even seem real. I think guns are a huge problem in this country. Period.
Question: Simon Rex, what inspired you to start acting?
Simon: I got approached when I worked at MTV by some people in the movie business and TV, so I figured I should pursue it.
Question: What do you think of Mariah Carey's move to acting?
Simon: I haven't seen her act yet, so I don't have an opinion. But all the power to her.
Question: I think you are really hot. Are you single?
Simon: Yeah, I don't have a girlfriend right now.
Question: What made you decide to act in the new and upcoming scream movie?
Simon: It's not Scream that I'm in, I did a spoof of them called I Know What You Screamed Last Summer. It was fun.
Question: Hey Simon, I think you are SO SEXY!!! I would like to know if you have any pets? If so what kind of pets? and what are there names??
Simon: None. Sorry.
Question: Simon, what is your current favorite song?
Simon: An Air song called "Brakes On".
Question: How long does it take to learn your lines for the show, Jack & Jill?
Simon: A day, not even, you just study a little the day before. It's not hard.
Question: What is your favorite movie?
Simon: Waiting For Guffman.
Question: Who has been an inspiration in your life?
Simon: I can't really think of anybody who inspires me off hand. I don't want to just say anybody
Question: What kind of music do you like?
Simon: I like drum n bass, I like hip hop, heavy metal, modern rock of the 80's, reggae.
Question: Do you spend a lot of time online?
Simon: No, I don't have a computer. I have Nintendo.
Question: What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
Simon: Jumped off this tower in the San Francisco area, it was really high, you could die, and I jumped off a few times with my friends.
Question: What do you do to relax?
Simon: I go to the steam room at the YMCA or I swim, Swimming helps me relax.
Question: Hi Simon. What is your idea of a perfect date?
Simon: A perfect date would be a quiet restaurant, really good food, good bottle of wine, and just really mellow, then from there, who knows?
Question: What is it like working on a hit TV series?
Simon: It's fun, but it's not a hit! If it was that would be great, but it's great either way. The ratings are good but not through the roof. I want people to start watching the show because I think it's great and a lot of fun.
Question: Is being a TV star all it's really cut out to be?
Simon: Nah, not really. It's all in everyone's head, it's just a job, I go to work and work with a lot of regular people, come home at night, and I have a normal life.
Question: Is Rex your real last name, or have you changed it?
Simon: My middle name.
Question: How many times a week do you excercise to get that trim body?
Simon: Three times.
Question: Do you consider yourself a role model?
Simon: No, I don't think a lot of kids look up to me, I just work on a TV show. If I was, it would be a big responsibility and I would take that on, no problem.
Question: You are really cute I totally admire you and was wondering if you have any advice for a girl who wants to be an actress.
Simon: Yeah, my advice is to have another career going on to support yourself. Unless you already have a lot of money. Because it's not easy.
Question: Simon, what are the traits/characteristics you look for in a woman?
Simon: Sense of humor, mature, but not boring, and healthy.
Question: Are you going to be in any movies?
Simon: I Know What You Screamed Last Summer, the horror movie spoof, comes out in a couple of months I think.
Question: Does your mom like Jack and Jill?
Simon: Yes she does, but I don't know if she's just biased! But she watches it every week of course.
Question: How long have you been acting?
Simon: Just about three years I guess. I've been studying for three years, and working the last year and a half.
Question: Do you have a dream role that you hope to play someday?
Simon: No, I haven't thought of that, I would just like to do some cool fun roles in some good movies.
Question: Why was math you least favorite subject?
Simon: I just don't like numbers, they scare me!
Question: Are you a shy person?
Simon: Sometimes, you know, I'm comfortable with myself and I'm secure with myself when I'm out socially. Sometimes I'm obnoxious, so I don't think it's shy as much as less obnoxious.
Question: What was your favorite subject in high school?
Simon: I liked history, cause that was cool facts and useful information to me as opposed to theorems and numbers and stuff.
Question: Who do you like the most on the set of Jack and Jill?
Simon: I guess I hang out with the guys the most, cause we work together. Me and Sarah also have a fun time together, she's crazy.
Question: How did you like working with Keri Russell?
Simon: She's great, she's a sweetheart, and it was a pleasure to work with her. It was fun.
Question: Simon, who was your favorite celeb you met? And who else do you really want to meet?
Simon: Howard Stern, it was cool to meet him. And I want to meet Jennifer Lopez, she's so hot.
Question: Will you be returning to Felicity for an episode or two or will you be permanently placed on Jack & Jill?
Simon: It's very possible I could return, you never know!
Question: Would you consider going back to modeling?
Simon: If this career didn't work out, sure, but not unless this doesn't pan out. Question: What is on your wish list for the holidays?
Simon: I want the Y2K thing to not be as crazy as everyone thinks, I want everybody to be OK.
Question: Other than Jack & Jill, what is your favorite TV show?
Simon: I like Everybody Loves Raymond.
Question: Do you wear boxers or briefs
Simon: Neither! Just kidding - boxers.
TV Guide: Thanks for coming by to chat with us tonight.
Simon: My pleasure!
TV Guide: Hope you come back again.
Simon: Thanks a lot!
Here’s the final word from the Jack & Jill star on sex, lies and –Oh yes- that video
By Mary Murphy
When Simon Rex strolls through the lobby of a Beverly Hills hotel, beguilled women check out the chiseled face, flashing green eyes and buffed body that made him a highly paid runway model in Paris and Milan. Sinking into a chair at the bar and ordering a iced tea, the actor smiles. And why shouldn’t he? Last season, he seduced the virginal Felicity; this season, he plays bartending player Mikey on the new WB series Jack & Jill (Sundays, 9 P.M./E.T.) Rex, 25 would seem to have his career in full throttle.
Soon, however, the smiled disappears, and Rex describes his introduction to Hollywood and a mistake he made when he was 18. His is a cautionary tale of how a teenage indiscretion can haunt a star into adulthood.
In 1993, Rex appeared nude in three erotic videos that were made from a single filming. One featured, for example, Rex performing a series of gyrations on a rug and in front of a mirror. The other videos have been edited in a way that raises questions about his sexual preferences, basically, he says, giving viewers the wrong idea. “In one video, they would show me (by myself) and cut to a couple of guys together, and then cut back to me.” Now, for the first time, Rex wants to set the record straight. “I never was a porn star,” he declares. “I did one shoot. And another thing: I’m no bisexual. I’m not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. It’s just not me.”
It was, in fact, the love of a woman that took him down the sex-rated route. At 17, Rex dropped out of community college in his hometown of San Francisco and moved to Los Angeles to live with a 22-year-old aspiring model and he 3-year-old son. To make ends meet, he worked as a busboy.
“I was busting my hump to make a dollar, literally,” says Rex. “We just didn’t have any money. And the time came when I found out that she was doing adult magazines, nude photographs."
Initially, he thought that was cool. And soon his girlfriend pressured him to make a porn video. “She said, ‘Simon, you’re not cutting it as a busboy,” says Rex. “ ‘I need to hook you up with this guy, and you need to do a flick.’” Rex jokes today about the multiple results. “It was kind of like a three-picture deal, like at Miramax. He (the photographer) told me it would only be seen in Germany, so I was like, ‘OK.’ I was not thinking about the future.
“It was like a Playboy video, with a girl sitting on a car touching herself,” he says. “Only this was the guy version.” He hesitates. “I had to touch myself.” Afterward, Rex says he felt “cheesy, but I never felt sexual.” He was paid $650- the exact amount of his monthly rent.
Six months later, Rex broke with his girlfriend, moved to Europe and put his porn experience behind him. “I just forgot about it,” he says. “I’ve never seen the video, believe it or not.”
Three years later, Rex had become a runway model, earning as much as $3,500 a day (his reward for keeping his clothes on) for such top designers as Versace and Armani. In 1995, he was hired by MTV as a VJ to host such shows as MTV’s Most Wanted. “I got to interview everybody, Jackie Chan and L.L. Cool J,” he says. “Really cool people. It kind of put my face out there.”
Which is exactly when the pornographic photos began to surface on gay Web sites.
Rex learned of his cyberscape debut from his mother, Zoe, who had been told by a friend. He denied it. (Zoe could not be reached for comment.)
Rod Aissa, director of talent development at MTV, remembers the day Rex told him the news. “We never thought about firingi him,” says Aissa. “Come on, we had Jenny McCarthy. MTV was more concerned with Simon’s work. And it was amazing.
Still, Rex was publicly humilated. Friends turned against him, rumors surfaced in gossip columns and strangers made catcalled. “Wherever we went- a premier, a party- people would make comments to him,” says Aissa.
Suddenly, he experienced the dark side of fame. “It kind of hit me. “Wow, this is my life. This sucks,” Rex says.
The toughest moment came when he had to tell his mother the truth. “She was crying, and she said, ‘Where did I go wrong raising you?’” he remembers. “Growing up, I was such a handful for my mom. I had to go to juvenile hall for some stupid credit card forgery and fraud. I was finally doing something with my life so that she could be proud, and (the video) surfaced.”
And it keeps surfacing whenever Rex gets a job. It followed him to the set of Felicity. Says executive producer J.J. Abrams: “I had heard that he was involved with a blue movie, but I didn’t pay attention. Then, on the day we were shooting the scene where he was making love to our heroine, I did an Internet search and found the photos. And I was just screaming, ‘No! No!’”
Abrams was concerned about a possible public-relations disaster as well as the effect on the show’s core audience- legions of teenage girls. “I could just see that they would look at this new stud and go online and freak out,” he says. Instead, he received hundreds of emails praising Rex. Abrams realized a lot of celebrities, such as onetime porn queen Traci Lords, had done worse and survived. “If I could help Simon add a more legitimate chapter to his life,” he says, “then fine.” Randi Singer, executive producer of Jack & Jill, also stands by Rex. “We don’t do background checks on our actors.” She said. “Simon was just the best one for the job.”
Rex is grateful for their support. And
yet he says he is never free from the free from the fear of being penalized,
which is why he finally decided to speak out. “It still lingers,” he says.
“It’s good just to get it off my chest, the whole thing.”
chat transcript is courtesy of TV
Peek inside the private pads of four of the sweetest hotties around.. SIMON REX
by: Chuck Arnold
What his pad says about him: "I think that it would tell a girl that I'm young and fun and easy going. There are no bad vibes here."
His rad roommate: Model Ethan Browne, son of rocker Jackson Browne. "We're good friends, so it's totally fun living together."
Decorating designs: "Ethan and I have lots of friends who are photographers and artists, so we plan to display all their work here."
Favorite toy: His Sony PlayStation. "I'm a video-game freak."
Home cooking (not!): "I cooked a lot while I was modeling in Europe because everything closes so early there. But now that I live in New York, I like the convenience of picking up the phone and having a meal delivered at any time."
Craziest think he did for love: "When I was in middle school I mooned this girl in class because I was trying to impress her. I got suspended for it, but in the end we went out, so it worked."
Sexy secret: "I like to fall asleep listening to soft music."
Let’s talk about REX
A night out with a Beautiful Man
By Nancy Jo Sales
9 P.M. The beautiful young man standing near me in the lobby of L.A.’s Sunset Marquis goes well with the hotel’s minimalist interior. His razor-sharp cheekbone and penetrating blue eyes, his understated Hugo Boss shirt, are just right with the clean lines of the hotel. But don’t call him hunky; after all, he’s not just some piece of beefcake. “I cringe at the whole pretty boy thing,” says Simon Rex, owner of the look – and a star of the WB’s Jack and Jill, a new romantic comedy in which he plays a hapless bartender. “I don’t want to get typecast,” he tells me, brushing aside talk of his comeliness, “I want to be known for my skill and personality or humor.
“Excuse me,” murmurs a slinky redhead as she sidles over to Rex’s side and explains that she’s just flown in from France. “Would you like to join me in zee Whiskey Bar for a drink?”
Rex looks at me. “You set this up, right?” he says, I assert my complete innocence. “Uh, no thanks,” he tells the redhead. “But merci.”
9:15 P.M. Rex is steering his silver Lexus GS 300 down La Cienega Boulevard and insisting – you guessed it – that he’s just a regular guy not some Hollywood babe magnet. “I never get hit on like that,” he says. “I swear to God. OK, if I do, it’s usually more like teenage girls. And they don’t hit on you, they just… squawk.”
Now a fixture in such teen magazines as Tiger Beat, 25 –year-old Rex first got noticed by the teeny-bopper set in 1995 as a VJ on MTV, where he often appeared shirtless, showing off his delectable abs. “I’d been doing modeling for a while for people like Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger,” he says. “The MTV job just fell into my lap. I went to fill in for (model) Marcus Schenkenberg on the VJ Kennedy’s show, and we vibed, and the producers were, like, let’s give this guy a VJ job.”
But Rex’s career suffered a setback in 1996, when news surfaced that he had starred in three porn films aimed at a gay audience (Young, Hard, and Solo II and III and Hot Sessions III) – made when he was 19, featuring him along in the buff, doing what comes naturally. Rex says the whole thing was the idea of his then girlfriend, and “older woman” at age 23. “I met (her) when I was 18 and fell head over heels for her, so I moved out of my mom’s house in San Francisco and down to L.A. This girl was a model who did dirty pictures and stuff to make money, and that was intriguing to me as a young guy. I was in over my head, but I needed to pay the rent.”
The videos eventually cost Rex a part on the WB’s sitcom Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane in 1998. Disney, which was co-producing the pilot, presumably felt Rex’s racy past interfered with its Mickey Mouse image. But the WB stuck by him and even signed him to a development deal. Last season, he played the achingly sensitive art student to whom Felicity lost her virginity, “I got to make out with Keri Russell. That was cool, except her boyfriend was waiting in her trailer,” Rex says as we come to a stop at a red light.
“It shoulda been Noel!” yell the kids in the
car next to us, pilling out when the light turns green. (Noel played
by Scott Foley, was the Felicity suitor some viewers were rooting
9:30 P.M. We arrive at Woo Lae Oak, Rex’s favorite Korean restaurant, a big, noisy place with high, beamed ceilings and a youthful clientele. “Simon!” cries a group of hipsters at a nearby table.
“That’s some of my posse,” Rex explains, waving, “I like to bring girls here,’ cause I have something to do with my hands – I mean, cook the barbecue. So I don’t get nervous.” As we walk through the restaurant, nearly every woman takes a second look. We sit down, and seconds later management sends over a personalized set of chopsticks in a mother-of-pearl box. “So what’s it like being so hideous?” I ask. Rex grimaces and leans back in his chair. “There’s really no way to talk about this stuff without sounding like a complete jerk – at least to other guys,” he says. “As a guy, you want me to earn other guys’ respect. Like, when a guy comes up to me and says, ‘Hey Simon Rex, I liked you on such-and-such show,’ I take that more to heart than when a girl comes up to me,’ cause as a guy he has to put his ego aside, whereas a girl...."
Even when the fan gush and fawn, though, Rex can’t seem to get it through his head that the world finds him rather appealing. “Now my parents – there’s some attractive people,” says Rex, an only child. “My mom was a hippie hottie when she was young. She hung out with all the rockers, Jimi Hendrix tried to take her home once, but she didn’t go because she was married at the time” –to his dad, Paul –“ or so she says. And my dad was a cool, hippie photographer-artist.” Now his parents are divorced. His dad is a relationship therapist in San Diego, and his mom, Zoe, is an environmental planner in San Francisco.
“Hi, Simon.” A lithe brunette named Soleil – just Soleil – has spotted Rex and eased over to chat. “What are you doing later?” she purrs. “I don’t know, but I’ll call ya,” the actor says amiably.
I ask, “Is this think with women just constant?” “What?” Rex looks confused. “Soleil is a member of my posse.”
11. P.M. Under the awning of Woo Lae Oak, as we wait for the valet to get Rex’s car, a guy with 90210 hair taps Rex on the shoulder. “Are you following me?” Rex jokes. The guys is, as it turns out, a fan, and though he is with a girl – a Heather Graham –ish blonde – he can’t seem to take his eyes off Rex. “I’ve always found him attractive,” the guy explains grinning. “He has sexy-ass eyes. He’s the love of my life.” “Uh, thanks, bro,” says Rex, unconvinced.
11:10 P.M. We’re driving through bumper-to-bumper, Saturday-night traffic on Sunset Boulevard and Rex is musing about all the attention he has been getting. “It still doesn’t sink in that this has anything to do with the way I look,” he says. “I watch myself on a TV show, and I say, ‘I hate nose. Look at my hair!’ I never think with girls, like I’m gonna get them because I’m supposed to be handsome. I think the way to a girl’s heart is with a sense of humor – at least the kind of women I’d want to be with.”
He doesn’t have a girlfriend now; he broke up a three-year relationship more than a year ago and says he isn’t ready for another one. “I work, so I don’t go out a lot,” he says. “At work, it’s social, hanging out with other young actors. At home (in West Hollywood) I just hang out with my guy friends, watch sports, play basketball, I’m a normal dude, nothing too extracurricular or exciting.”
12 A.M. We park the car, and we’re walking down crowded Sunset, on our way to SkyBar in the Mondrian Hotel. Rex wants a smoke.
“Oh, let me do that for you,” says a guy passing by, noticing Rex fumbling in his pocks and handing him a cigarette.
“Let him have the box,” urges his girlfriend, a doe-eyed waif.
“The box is wet,” says the guy.
“Oh. We have a wet…box,” says the girl, licking her lips.
The line outside SkyBar is long and chaotic, full of people imploring the bouncer to let them in. “Hey Simon,” says the bouncer, pulling the rope open for Rex. Before Rex can step in, though, a dyed blond in Dolce & Gabbana approaches. “Will ya sign my shirt?” she asks. “Across the tits!” she orders, flipping back her stiff hair and pushing out her impressive, if synthetic, chest.
“Hey, wait a minute,” says her muscle-bound boyfriend, huffy, hands on hips. “Should I ask him to sign my balls?”
“Let’s get out of here,” Rex whispers.
We run the other way, ditching SkyBar and laughing like kids. But it’s getting late, and Rex wants to head home. He is tired. Maybe it’s the demands of shooting Jack and Jill every day, or maybe it’s just the pressure of having every other woman – and man – in L.A. come on to him. “I’m telling you,” Rex says, slowing down as we continue heading up the street, “this never happens to me – this is not a typical night.”
“Aren’t you Simon Rex?” ask girls bouncing out of the Comedy Store.
by jodi bryson
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