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yes, this does have something to do with comics

On August 13th and 16th of '98 I had the oppertunity to attend the Comic Convention (comic-con) and meet the creators of several comic books. In this comics section, I would like to share with you my experience.

The comic-con was in San Diego and lasted 4 days. I went for two days, which you should have guessed if you passed 2nd grade. The main people i wanted to meet there were Jhonen Vasquez (jthm), Shannon Wheeler (tmcm) and Evan Dorkin (milk & cheese). On my first day there, i found all of thier "stands" and did a little browsing.

Shannon Wheeler was the first person i met. He was a really nice kinda guy. A little older than what i expected, also nicer. I had no guts when i saw him. Its wierd but anyway. The first visit to his stand i bought a comic, and had him sign three of my other copies. That was about all the guts i had at the time. After i left, i was pretty happy, but i still felt hollow inside. like something was missing. You know that feeling. Its like that feeling you get when all of your family is wiped out in a freak natural disaster, like a fire, or food poisoning. anyway, i realized what was making that hollow feeling. I didnt get him to put a sketch in my sketchbook. so, i pulled together what guts i had left, and gothicly appeared at his stand again. We made eye contact and both knew what each other was feeling. for him, it was shock and amazement about the way i had just appeared infront of him. For me, it was a nervous feeling.

There i stood, sketchbook open to a fresh new page and my hands trembling. He looked at me, looked at the sketchbook then took a step forward with open arms. I gave him my sketchbook and he proceeded to draw. my girlfriend and i stood there watching and wondering what he was going to put on the page. About five seconds had past and he started looking up from what he was drawing, and glanced at me. i thought i had some kinda booger hangin down, or maybe he was just pist off that i was watching him sketch. well, this went on for about a minute. after he was done, he signed the sketch and gave the book back to me. i smiled, shannon smiled back, and i left. 4 steps away from the stand, my girlfriend and i looked at what he sketched. it was my upper head sticking out of the coffee in Coffee Man's Head. quite cool. i would have a scan of it up here, but i gave the book to my girlfriend and i cant see it anymore.

The second comic book guy i met was Evan Dorkin. In a word, this guy is an asshole. But dont you make that same judgement until you read what happened. sure its gonna be long and involve some sex with animals, but you are probably a mature reader, so you can handle it. anyway.... Evan Dorkin is the guy who draws Milk And Cheese. His stand was at Slave Labor's for reasons beyond me. I walked up to him the same way i did at Shannon's stand and bought a comic. After i paid him nearly 3 BUCKS!! for one of his stinkin comics, i asked for a signature on the comics and ONE bloody sketch for my book. well, he tried to ignore me for about 3 minutes, pretending he was selling someone else something. When that failed, he tried acting like he was drawing something else. Again i was still standing almost directly infront of him. So, he finally decided to take my book and draw in it. It only took him about 24 seconds to do it, and while sketching, he kept lookin around, not paying attention to my book for that long hard 24 seconds and didnt say a word after he finished. Little floating milk and cheese figures. no arms or legs. they were just floating i tell you. underneath he scribbled, and i quote: "SUFFER!!". Now, im no psychologist expert, i have no formal degree or even education in reading thoughts or actions, but i would say that the SUFFER he wrote in my book was more than just a comic book reference. I would like to add that i do not read Milk & Cheese anymore and if there is anyone reading this that would like to purchase 2 signed copies of the comic, you can email me via your email thing. The address is somewhere on another page of mine, im sure your capable mind can find it.

Now, after this truely unpleasant experience with Mr. Asshole, we proceeded on to Jhonen's place. Once there, i saw several things that made me drool. One was a hardcover version of The Directors Cut, a compilation Squee! thing that is like the other directors cut, but just as squee stuff and meanwhiles. Also taking up precious counter space was Squee! 4. It was about 5 minutes later that i had reached into the depths of my wallet and pulled out some genuine U.S. dollars, alot to be exact. I bought Squee! 4, Hardcover directors Cut, and later the Squee book. After i had become a part of the great american economy by becoming a consumer, i heard some news that was ad sad sad. Fergie (guy with balls of steel) had talked to one of the guys at the Slave Labor stand about jhonen. Fergie then relayed his information. We found out that Jhonen was on his way, but probably wouldnt show up for a long long time.

After hearing this devastating news, i tried to kill myself. it was a good thing my girlfriend suggested going outside for a cigarette. It got my mind off of death. So after about 6 cigarette breaks, 3 new bags of free stuff, watching Fergie buy neat things, going to the bathroom twice, and spending WAY too much on something to drink, we went back to Slave Labor's stand. Still no Jhonen. This caused us to become juvenille delinquents. we took a seat in the middle of the floor next to some concrete pillars that seemed to be holding up the ceiling, and began reading some comics. We sat there for about 13 minutes when a security guard asked us to move. It seems we werent allowed to sit there.

So, now that we had broken a law, we went back to the SL stand. No Jhonen to be found. i started crying. Then we all had a great big group hug and made a deal with ourselves. We were going to stay at the comic-con until Jhonen showed up, even if it ment standing around for another 3 hours.

well, three hours had passed along with another bathroom visit and two more cigarette breaks. We found ourselves in the main lobby sitting around and taking stupid pictures of each other. After the fun of blinding each other, Gloria (my gf) noticed a guy walk in that looked remarkably like Jhonen. Fergie had decided for all of us that it would be in our best intrests if we stalked this jhonen look-alike until we found his final destination.

The hunt began. We watched this guy go to the registration booth and get a little badge. From there we followed him into the main convention hall. This is where we gasped. The guy had gone behind the Slave Labor stand and started talking to the guys there. IT WAS JHONEN!!! we were all happy then.

After our happiness had faded, we needed a new and bigger high. So we walked up to the Slave Labor stand and waited in a line to get our things signed. Eventually we made it to the front of the line and presented the great and powerful wizard of oz, (jhonen) our things to be signed. after this joyous and tear filled event, we left. You may have guessed. That same emptiness had filled me once again. It hurt. oooh it hurt. it hurt so bad i had to sigh like a damn goff. but saddness aside, fergie made another great statement. i dont remember his exact words, and to be brutally honest, i dont remember much of what happened after walking away from the stand. I do remember however giving Fergie my camera and having him take some pictures of me n gloria with jhonen. then it was fergie with jhonen. then it was just jhonen. then it was jhonen and this other girl with blue hair. Eventually the picture taking lead into asking jhonen for sketches.

well, after the day was done, we walked out of Comic-con '98 with
  • 11 sketches from jhonen
  • 5 pictures of jhonen
  • one semi-stolen bag of goodies
  • 4 bags of free stuff
  • a tube of more free stuff
  • a sword
  • sore legs
  • the feeling that jhonen wanted to kill us (bad)
  • and nifty little comic-con badges.


yes, the day was done. click the link below to view some things related to the story i just told. yes, this proves my story wasnt bullshit.


go here to see that i really
got all the stuff signed by jhonen.

go here to see the junk i
got at the Comic-Con.