He would always remember her as she was. Angie. Angela. Ange. He had said her
name so many times. He had never really heard her name though,not until now,
not until the priest said it, his voice strong for those around him. His voice
giving hope to the crowd, the crowd with heads bowed, silent, as tears welled
up and spilled over lashes. Rollie Tyler held back his own tears as he
remembered. He remembered how strong she was, how determined. He remembered
the pain, and the anger the hope and the fear.
It was so...gray. Everything was gray. Gray and blurry. She wanted to rub her
eyes. Her arms...something was wrong. Her arms wouldn't work. She wanted to
scream, all that came out was a garbled whisper.
Something moved.
"Ms.Ramirez?"
It wasn't gray any more. Harsh,bright light(off,turn it off) filled her
vision.
"Thank god. I'll get the doctor." A stiff,white form blazed passed.
"Ms. Rameirez. Glad to have you back you had us worried for a moment." The
light was dimmed, but another was soon flashed back and forth. Back and forth.
"Don't talk. You are on a respirator. Do you know what that is? It helps you
to breath. I'll remove it when your ready. Don't worry. You are at St.Vincent.
You have been in a coma for the past two weeks."
Angie tried to raise her arm.
"No..no you can't do that. You're right arm is broken, your left has been
restrained for now, can't have you pulling out all those leads can we?"
Rollie Tyler paced for the upteenth time. Bluey barked.
"Shut up!" Rollie spun around and glared and the electronic animal.
"sorry...sorry" Rollie raked his hand through his hair.
"Damn' it" He stamped towards the drying machine, no longer caring if he wore
a wet{"at least its white.."} shirt. The nurse had kicked him out again she
had told him;
"Mr. Tyler, we have to change the sheets and her dressings. You can't be here
now. It should take a good hour, go home and take a shower. Get something to
eat too, I don't need to be taking care of two Fx artists." Rollie had left
only after being repeatedly told that he would be called if anything happened.
As he was about to open the dryer it let out a squeal, Rollie reached in,
grabbed a warm shirt and slipped into it. He was about to close the dryer door
when his phone rang. For a moment,fear gripped his heart.
Exhausted was not the word for it. Angie had never felt this tired in her
entire life. Never. The doctors had been poking and prodding her for the past
hour. Angie looked out the window, it was a rather dismal day, rain coated the
windows and lightening flashed. Angie then glanced at the door. Rollie was
going to arrive. They had told her. Would he be angry with her? He should be,
it was all her fault; she had stepped back when the second blast was to go
off! She had been scared...scared and stupid. Rollie probably didn't want to
even speak to her. She had ruined the shot, and she got injured in the
process. Stupid. Damn stupid.
The windshield wipers flicked, they cleared the rain from the window..yet
still Rollies vision was blurred, the wipers couldn't clear away his tears.
Whatever would she say? How would she react? Would she react? Would she even
speak to him,look in his eyes? It was all his fault. He had placed her in a
horrendously dangerous situation. He had shrugged off her fears, sending her
up the beam, up to what might have been her death{what could still be her
death}. Rollie shifted his weight, rubbed his eyes. He had wanted to make the
blast "bigger and better" so, he had tricked with it. He never even TESTED
it!! Why? Why did he always have to have things bigger and better? Why did he
have to send her up their? Why? He could have killed her{still could}. He was
so stupid.
The nurse adjusted the IV. Checking off a box on the endless chart, she smiled
at Angie.
"You are doing much better. Your blood tests all came back normal and, we are
going to take that pacemaker out."
Angie looked at the nurse, and flicked her eyes to the respirator.
"Oh, that. Well honey, you may not be off of that for a few more days. Have to
give yourself time to heal. But..." The nurse turned around and went to a
small bedside table and opened a drawer. "Here you go" the nurse handed Angie
a small tablet with a marker. "Your handwriting may be a bit shaky, marker
should help."
Angie wanted to smile, slowly, with the nurse holding the tablet Angie wrote
"thk u". Angie stared something was wrong; the words didn't look right. The
nurse lifted the tablet
"....your welcome." the nurse looked down at Angie. "Oh, now don't worry 'bout
your spelling, that happens sometimes after a coma like yours. All will be
well." The nurse let out a nervous chuckle, tore the note off the tablet,
folded it and placed it in her pocket. "I'll leave this here. You can speak to
that nice young man. You are lucky to have someone like him...have to kick him
out every day." The nurse winked. Angie's eyes darkened.
"Try to get some sleep." The nurse opened the door. "well well, look what the
wind blew in!" Stepping back, the nurse revealed a wet, red-faced Rollie.
Now and Forever
By Storyteller
part three
The nurse looked at Angie and then back at Rollie.
"I think I'll leave you two alone. Mr. Tyler? There are towels in the closet
over there." Standing on her toes, she whispered in Rollies ear "Don't go
exciting her too much, she's had a rough day...buzz the desk if anything
happens." Rollie nodded mutely, his eyes never leaving Angies face.
The nurse stepped behind Rollie and closed the door. Angie stared. Rollie
lowered his head and whispered
"If you never want to see me again I'll understand. I-I-I just need to know
that everything is alright with you...I'll do everything I can, and then I'll
leave." Raising his head, he peered at Angie. Angie stretched her hand out,
beckoning him to come. Rollie nearly ran over, grabbing her hand with
desperation.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry" He buried his head in the bed covers. "I'm
sorry...dear god its all my fault, I'm so bloody sorry."
Angie gently let her hand loose of Rollies grasp and stroked his damp,soft
hair. Rollie looked up, face beet red and tear stained. Angie pointed at the
tablet and marker. Whipping his eyes to the table, he grabbed them both, hands
shaking. Rollie snapped the marker open, and held the tablet for her. Angie
wrote with slow concentration.
"nt yur fault mine i stp bac ruin shot." Angie looked up into rollies face.
Rollie's mouth twisted. Slamming the tablet down on the bed, he clasped angies
face into his hands.
"Don't you ever say that. EVER! This is not your fault you under stand me!?
This is NOT your fault." Rollie brushed a damp spray of bangs from angies face
and gently kissed her forehead. "This is not your fault." Rollie choked on the
last word. Angie pointed towards the tablet, rollie held it up.
"not your fault" Angie wrote as a single tear spread across her face.
Rollie blinked, and faintly shook his head. Turning towards Angie he smiled
and,with the soft pad of his thumb gently wiped the tear from her cheek.
Rollie stared deeply into angies eyes. After an eternity, Angie frantically
shook the marker, rollie turned back.
"stop dripng all ovr me get a towl! I not need showr to!" Rollie let out a
deep laugh, a smile cracking his somber face. Standing up, he walked over to
the small closet, grabbed a towel and vigorously rubbed his hair.
Nurse Pritchard watched as Rollie Tyler adjusted the pillows and sheets around
the prone figure of Angie Rameriz. She did not want to disturb the moment but,
she had a job to do. Letting out a small cough, she entered the room
"I see she has fallen asleep."
Rollie turned around and smiled "Yes. She didn't want to, but she was so
tired." Rollie looked back at Angie "She has a fever" Rollie said it
quietly,not certain where the thought had come from or why he had now chosen
to voice it.
"Her system is out of balance...we're monitoring her very carefully. A CAT
scan has been ordered for every twelve hours."
Rollie flinched, as if physically punched "I thought everything was fine with
her."
Mz.Pritchard brushed a nonexistent spot from her coat "Well, we need to be
careful."
Rollie walked towards her "Careful?? What do you mean? Isn't a CAT scan
serious?"
Before she could answer, her beeper screeched. "oh!" Mz..Pritchard looked
almost relieved "I must go now.The doctor shall be in shortly"
Scared and uncertain, Rollie stared after the nurse. An hour later a tall,
stern, looking doctor entered the room. Rollie stood.
The doctor thrust his hand out "Mr.Tyler I presume?"
"Rollie. Call me Rollie"
"Mr.Tyler. I need you to know that we are doing everything we can. Ms.Rameriz
is at a fragile state now. Although she is nearly out of danger, we still need
to watch her. Her lungs still need to heal and, we have yet to pinpoint the
cause of the coma. A CAT Scan or has been ordered every twelve hours. As you
have seen, certain effects have come about. In some cases, swelling of the
brain can occur during and after a coma. If the brain is swelling, their is a
chance of damage, and even death. This is the reason why we have ordered the
scan. "
The Doctors words were cutting and unrestrained. Sometimes a doctors best ally
was the truth,laid out on the line without the trimmings,no time spent on
fancy prose.
His heart skipping a beat and total fear filling him, Rollie stood firm. He
had to. He had to for Angie. Rollie wanted to scream, yell and cry but, now
was not the time to scream or yell, or even to cry...his tears had been spent.
Five days had passed and Rollie was overjoyed. Today the respirator was to
come out! Angies spelling had improved and the countless CAT scans had all
come back clean.
"Good morning Rollie." A shapely, red head winked at the rumpled Aussi.
"Good morning Dr.Gold. Nice day today"
"You've been spending the night here again. I thought I told you to stop doing
that."
Nearly blushing, Rollie ducked his head "awww, I couldn't leave her" Rollie
tenderly brushed his hand against Angies shoulder and up her neck. "She had
trouble sleeping last night...so excited about today."
The red haired doctor stared at Rollie, a man truly in love with the woman.
Dr. Gold grinned, time and again she had tried to kick the young man out only
to be faced with an unmovable force....she was glad though, what Angie really
needed now was someone to count on, a strong hand to hold onto. The hardest
part was yet to come. Recovery.
Voices..what were those voices? Angie slowly opend her eyes. What was going
on? Angie smiled. Today was the day.
"Angie? Morning love." Rollie smiled
Dr.Gold stepped forward along with two nurses. "Angie. Hi. This is Steve" The
doctor pointed at a plump,black haired nurse "and you know Nurse Pritchard"
"As you know, today we are going to remove that respirator. Now, after we
remove it, you are going to feel as if you are choking...don't be scared
though I'm going to place this mask over your face, it will provide oxegen to
you. OK?"
Angie nodded.
"Alright...now, steve is going to help me pull this out, and Nurse Pritchard
is going to hold your head down, so it doesn't move. When I say three I want
you to blow out as hard as you can...pretend you are blowing up a ballon.Hard.
Ok? Ready? One......Two.....Three" The large tube was quickly pulled out,
Angie coughed and sputterd, thrashing her head, "ANGIE...calm down...its ok"
Dr. Gold slipped a small oxegen mask over Angies nose and mouth "Take slow,
shallow breaths dear....thats right. I know it hurts, but thats to be
expected..your throat is going to be sore for a few hours...your chest will
hurt longer."
Rollie stepped before angie, took her hand and kissed her forehead "Told you
it wasn't going to be that bad" he smiled
"yea right" Angie's gave out a small smile, her voice ragged and barely above
a whisper.
Rollie let out a long, hearty laugh "It's bloody good to hear your voice."
It was late. Angie stared at the large brace that was now fitted on her
'broken' leg. The orthopedist had removed the large cast, placing this brace
on, so she could start movement of her leg and knee. The brace was almost as
bad as the cast. Rollie had been in earlier, he had smuggled in a bag of food
for Angie, the contents of the bag made Angie smile, a Big Mac and fries,
Chocolate candy and, for some bizarre reason a handful of gummi bears. Rollie
had left only after Angie had insisted. Mira had stuck her head in sometime
during the day,a day punctuated by her first trail visit to the physical
therapy room--'trial' being the operative word.
Angie had felt her first misgivings when the nurse pointedly timed her pain
injection to coincide with the trip to 'the gym.' Angies 'personal therapist'
had borne a definite likeness to her high school math tutor. Angie remembered
Mr. Gilfin for his meticulous,unwavering attention to detail, his attitude of
'keep doing it until you get it right."
Shawn Bartman had been stamped out of the same mold.
With a casual,loose grace that camouflaged a spine of unalloyed titanium,
Shawn had gently laid out a plan of action that Angie was convinced would
rival even the most sadistic bootcamp run by the most homicidal sergant-major
in existence. Some of the orthopedic equipment scattered around the large
workout room bore more than a passing resemblance to torture devices. And
Angies first exposure to the continuous passive motion machine did nothing to
allay that impression.
Something told her that she was not going to look forward to her daily
sessions in Shawns qualified hands, no matter how handsome he was.
At least that was over. Until sometime tomorrow. Or as Rob had said 'bright
and early'. Angie had an image of it being bright and surly, but she hadn't
dared share that intuition. She'd already decided that it would not be a good
idea to piss Shawn off.
Channel surfing brought no inspiration,only a reminder of why she didn't
watch television.
Ignoring the flickering images wrapped around some kind of nighttime soap
opera,Angie rummaged through the drawer in the metal night stand beside her
bed.
"whatever contraband you've got in there, you'd better put it back before I
see it."
Angie nearly slammed the drawer shut on her own had. She fought back the
only way she could. "Hi, Doctor Dick."
"um hmmmm." Dr. Dick Haberman,longtime friend of Angies father and now her
surgeon and personal doctor, dropped into the bedside chair. It was late, and
he'd been on his feet entirely too long. Angie was his last visit, and he'd
put off coming in,hoping that he'd get a better reading on his patients
condition. Nothing much to worry about yet, he assured himself even as his
conscience registered the satin-sheen of sweat on Angies face. The kid had
obviously conned someone into bringing her clothes from home. Instead of the
all-too-skimpy hospital gown, Angie was wearing sweat pants above the brace
that had finally been fitted on her right leg and a dark t-shirt.
"I'm going to upgrade the antibiotics." he said. "see if we can't wipe put
the fever."
Does that mean more needles?"
Haberman smiled,a wicked twist to the expression on his weary face. "Just
remember that I'm keeping count of the 'doctor Dick's."
"Oops."
"Oops is right. Never try to out-nasty a surgeon,kid. Can't be done."
"When can I get out of here?"
Angie, we need to talk"
"Uh-oh, that sounds ominous." Angie scooted herself up higher against the
pillows, wincing at the pain in her knee.
"Doesn't have to be ominous." Haberman countered,settling back in the chair.
It was comfortable, a siren song of promised rest that threatened to take him
just one level too deep into relaxation, something he couldn't afford with a
patient hanging on his every pronouncement. Especially one as hyperactive and
perceptive as Angie Rameriez.
