disclaimer: Rysher and all other makers of "FX the Series" own the
characters
summary: Post "Red Storm"
classification: Rollie/Angie romance
rating: PG, okay so it gets a little more than what I'd usually do at the
end.
*********************************************************************************************
This was never going to happen again. He was going to make sure of that.
It was one thing when he got HIMSELF in scrapes, nearly got HIMSELF
killed, but it was COMPLETELY different when SHE was the one who suffered
the consequences. This had happened one too many times. Rollie Tyler sat
slumped in the chair trying to work. He couldn't stop thinking about how
Loubar had used her, he couldn't help thinking that there could have been
something he could have done. He started to think out loud, and he
thought he was alone.
"God Ang, I've let you take the consequences for my actions too many
times. I'm sorry. You were right, it's not a game. This is it, I'm never
putting you into this situation again. Mira and Francis are my friends,
but I can't help them and the NYPD out anymore, if it means that
you....could be used so horribly, that we could be used. I'm never going
to make that mistake again. When you told me what Loubar did, I pleaded
with whatever power there is, a power that I don't even really believe
in, that if we caught Loubar, no more cops and robbers, just FX, and I'd
finally be honest with you." Rollie found that his cheeks were wet, he
hadn't even realized that he was crying. He thought he had been talking
to himself, that his confessions were given to just the walls. Angie had
not been in the room, but she had heard him talking and had walked in,
but said nothing.
"Honest with me about what?" She asked curiously.
Rollie turned around surprised to see that she had come in the room
without him hearing. "Um, I didn't know you were here..."
"Rollie you didn't answer my question."
"Ang, we need to talk, but, ah, not now."
Angie considered what he said and decided she wasn't up to a conversation
of the depth she suspected that this one would be. "Rol what are you
doing up? You should get some sleep. The doctor said you should try and
take it easy, you were shot." She said changing the subject.
"The doctor also said that it wasn't that bad. I'll be fine, how about
you?" He said getting up and walking over to her.
"Rollie, when are you going to worry about you instead of me? I am fine."
She replied exasperated.
"I just, I just want to make sure you're alright. I guess I've had alot
on my mind, about you, about ....us."
"Rollie I meant what I said, nothing has changed."
"For you maybe, but for me things have."
Angie sighed and wondered if she should ask him if he had been crying, it
certainly appeared that way. She looked him in the eye and saw something
there, something he was hiding, something he wanted to say, but was
avoiding. "Rollie what were you talking about before, is something
wrong?" Angie asked seriously. She considered what his earlier response
was, but decided that from the look in his eyes this was more serious
than she had originally thought, whatever it was, it needed to be dealt
with, soon.
"Ang I told, I do... we need to talk, but not now. You should get some
more rest."
Angie just gave him that look that said she wasn't budging, she wanted to
know what was wrong, and now.
"How do you always do that to me? Nothing is wrong, okay no everything is
wrong. It's just that when you told me what Loubar did, I didn't know
what to do with myself. I wanted to hurt him more than anyhting, what he
did, I can't ever forget. I was seeing our life together, for the past
thirteen years flash before me, and realized I didn't know where I would
be without you. I'm making a promise to you, to myself, no more police
work, not if it means that you are going to pay the price, you've already
paid too big of one."
"Rollie, this wasn't your fault, when I've gotten hurt, it's never been
your fault. I help you because Francis and Mira are my friends too, the
same was true with Leo. I understand what you are feeling, I can't
imagine growing up without you. You helped me through alot, especially
when my dad died. I know I couldn't have gotten through everything
without you there by my side. And now, you are the closest person to me,
my best friend. Working with you isn't even working really, it's fun I
enjoy what we do, together. And when I thought Loubar was you, I felt
great, it felt....right."
"Ang. I don't want you to say that nothing is changed, I want it to. What
I know now, believe me when I tell you this Angie, I've wanted it to
change for a long time. I feel like you are a part of me, the biggest and
the best part. You are the first person I want to see in the morning, and
the last person I want to see when I go to bed. When something good
happens, you're the first person I tell, and when I'm hurt, when
everything seems to be wrong with the world, it's only you who can make
it all not seem so bad. And maybe I misjudge my feelings, maybe it's time
spent with someone will always make you feel this way, but I don't see
how anyone can tell me that I have not fallen totally, completely,
wonderfully, in love with you." When Rollie finished speaking he was
standing in front of her closely, looking at her, his gaze seemed to go
right through her. She just stood there stunned, unable to respond to his
obviously very heart-felt confession.
"Wow, I think.....I mean I know....." She was really at loss for words.
Rollie turned away, quite sure that what he had said was the wrong thing.
Positive that he had just complicated things to a horrible degree. That
he would have to find a new assistant after she told him that she really
didn't think she could work with him if he really felt like that.
"Rollie....hello....earth to Tyler." She said waving a hand in front of
him, he turned his head, but still avoided her eyes. "Rollie.... I know
exactly what you mean." As she said this she raised a hand to his face
and lifted his chin so she could see his eyes. The relief, but overall
love that was reflected in them was reassuring.
"You mean..." He began.
"I love you too. Rollie, I do believe you." She leaned closer to him and
wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him letting go of all the
ways she'd kept her love hidden for so many years. There was a
difference when she kissed the real Rollie, it felt totally right.
Rollie's arms were around her waist and she pulled away to look at him,
and smiled.
"Can I ever erase what he did to you?" He asked caustiously.
Her eyes closed with the painful memory. "You can't erase them no, but
you can give good ones, that's enough."
Rollie brought her closer so that their heads slightly, "I'm gonna start
tonight then."
