Love is the bond that joins all life together.
Without it we are lost.
Well I guess this is where I tell you all about me.
NOVEMBER 1998
I have tried to do this before on a home page and never
seemed to have enough room. I don't know if my story can help anyone but I'm
willing to share it anyway.
I am 13 years old and I live in Indiana.
My Dad died when I was 7 and things have never been the
same since. About 3 or 4 years ago my Mom started using
crack cocaine. About 2 years ago my brother started using
it with her. Because I didn't want to even try it they
just started to ignore me. Mom quit her job and started
selling it. For a long time I handled what was going on
pretty well.
You see I have goals that don't involve doing drugs or
drinking. I'm a straight a student and Im in the 9th
grade because they let me test out of 6th. I basically
just buried myself in my schoolwork and stayed away from
them as much as possible.
Then things sarted getting worse. Mom went to a rehab but
it didn't work. After she got out she started selling and
smoking more and more. Sometimes she and my brother would
stay up for days at a time smoking crack. My brother and I
never got along so well but I was scared that either he or
my mom was going to die.
I remember when my Dad died in a car wreck and I didn't
think I could go through that again. Another thing that
was starting to scare me was some of the people Mom was
involved with in buying and selling drugs. Some of them
always carried guns and were just really scary people
to have around. It finally got to the point where I felt
like I had to do something. I went to the police and
turned my Mom in for dealing drugs. The police arrested
her and my brother and right now they are both in jail.
Some of you may think that what I did was wrong. I still
wonder about that sometimes myself. But it seemed like the
alternative was watching them kill themselves with the
drugs, and I couldn't do that anymore.
Right now I live in a foster home in another city. I am
going to a new school and I really miss my Mom. I wrote
her through my case worker and she sent the letter back
without ever even opening it. That really hurt but at
least she is not going to die on a crack binge right now.
I know I did what had to be done at the time.
My friends Chris and Willie have been a godsend
through all of this. I met them on line and I don't think
I could have come this far without them. Since I am having
to make all new friends, and have a new family to live
with, they have been the one stable thing in my life. I
can't ever tell them how much they mean to me and how much
I love them.
There have been others like Kouros, Brian and Jeff who
have also been an inspiration to me and I love and thank
them also.
Well thats my story and it's all true every word of it.
All over the place you hear people telling other people to
say no to drugs. I can tell you from first hand experience
that they are right. Drugs dont do anything but destroy. I
wasn't even the one using them and they almost destroyed
me.
I'm not over all of this yet. But I know I'll make it.
If you are in the same spot just do what you have to do to
take care of yourself. I hope someday that my Mom and
brother realize that I did what I did because I love them.
Because I really do.
I hope that you'll take a minute and sign my guestbook
here, I'd really like to hear what you have to say.
PEACE AND LOVE TO YOU ALL
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