
I wrote this story as a class assignment for Art way back in the 7th grade. This was a turning point in my life in which I gave up ever becoming a cartoonist and started looking towards writing. My art teacher loved this tale, kept the book I had made, and dubbed me "The Next Dr. Seuss." Well, I don't know about that last part, but when I recently came across it, my wife loved it so much that I felt inclined to post it. Hopefully she is not the only one!
One day Bubba was taking a nap,
When from his door there came a tap.
Letter for Bubba!” The mailman said.
When Bubba heard this, he fell out of bed.
He ran to the door as fast as he could,
And crashed right through like he knew he would.
This scared the mailman right out of his socks,
And he threw the letter into the mailbox.
Stars were circling around Bubba’s head.
“I’ve gotta stop doing that!” is all that he said.
He opened the letter and read it to himself.
“My parents are coming! I really need help!
“I need a job, a good one at least;
“fireman, policeman, or taming a beast.”
He thought and he thought, then he got an idea.
“I’ll become president with help from Sophia!”
So he went to the bank and Sophia gave him a loan.
Then he called all his friends, all that he’s known.
They all arrived and made a quick plan,
To make their friend Bubba the president man.
They designed buttons and clever, catchy slogans,
And hired stars like Mel Gibson and Kenny Logins.
They made banners and billboards,
Commercials and skateboards.
“Hurry guys, hurry! This will never do!
“We’ve only two weeks! We need something new!
I’m thinking, I’m thinking, as hard as I can…
“Perhaps this Bubba could be a family man!”
So Bubba sat and thought of his plan,
The plan to be a family man.
He thought he should do it, for his parent’s respect,
And after an hour, he said, “What the heck!”
Bubba told his friends of this new plan,
And everyone thought him a crazy man.
They laughed and giggled and they had a ball,
But then they saw Bubba wasn’t laughing at all.
He thought at first it could be superficial,
But then he figured to just make it official.
Bubba sat back and thought out loud,
“Gee, won’t Mama and Papa be proud!
They’ll see me as president and with my new wife.
Anyone can admit it’d be a wonderful life!”
“But Bubba, my friend, we have no votes!
Everyone’s voting for Mr. Clastotes.”
“Don’t worry, Jake, my plan will not fail.
We must simply be strong, as strong as a nail.”
Then everyone left, they left to find a wife,
A wonderful woman for Bubba’s new life.
They searched high, and they searched low.
They searched the concerts and picture shows.
Then one day, their search was all done.
They knew they’d finally found the right one.
They showed her a picture of their friend Bubba,
And when the girl seen it she yelled “Hubba-Hubba!”
When Bubba first seen her, oh, what a surprise!
And his friends could tell just by the look in his eyes.
Bubba was love struck from his toes to his head.
They quickly went to Las Vegas, just to get wed.
Bubba said, “This wedding is just for the votes,
“I really do love you, but I gotta beat Clastotes!”
After their wedding, they made a deal,
To have a real wedding, this time next year.
As soon as they were married they went back to town,
And made sure to tell everyone around.
The votes were coming in, about a million or so,
And everyone cheered, “All right! Way to go!”
Bubba seen himself in the president’s chair,
Wearing an ironed blue suit, and with parted hair.
Things were great, everything so precise,
Bubba’s marriage had broken the ice.
But little did he know that Clastotes knew
Of a perfect way to make Bubba lose.
Two days before the results, Bubba’s plan was revealed.
And it had made people frown, and some even squealed.
Clastotes had laughed because Bubba was finished.
He imagined him in an alley eating leftover spinach.
The day finally came, the day of the results
Of the president match between Bubba and Clastotes.
The room was quiet, the suspense was mounding.
This was finally it, and no one was clowning.
A man took the letter and opened it with ease,
While Clastotes smiled, already pleased.
The man looked at the paper and he said out loud,
“Thank you for being such a quiet crowd.
“We have a winner, one to govern the U. S. of A.
It is Mr. Clastotes, Anthony Jay.”
Bubba was ashamed, brought down in disgrace.
He ran out the door while holding his face.
Bubba had had it and couldn’t take any more.
“Go away!” He told the knock at his door.
“But Bubba, it’s your Mama and Papa!”
“You can’t come in, I’m, uh, moppin’.”
Bubba’s dad Jed, as strong as he was,
Crashed down the door to see just the cause.
Bubba told them everything, he told the whole story.
It took so long, he didn’t finish until morning.
“I tried to impress you, but I only failed.
“I’m a bad guy. I belong in a jail.”
”Don’t worry Bubba, you gave it a shot.
“Big deal, who cares if you lost?”
“We’re proud of you just as are.
“You don’t need to be a president or star.
“All that matters is we love you so much.
“Now come on, and let’s get some lunch.”
Bubba smiled and they were on their way.
But we would never forget that wonderful day.
And at least he had tried, tried as hard as he could.
Then he got the idea, a restaurant, called The President’s Food.