Okay it's June 1st and Im officially claiming this the beginning of "Operation Summer"! Here's this summer's goal (which you WILL accomplish!):
1) Get your bank account up to 10,000 dollars
2) Get super clear, fabulous skin!
3) Lose at least 20 lbs
4) Drink more water
5) Pass calculus
That's it, only 5 for right now! You can do it! Just suffer through the next 2 months and it will (almost) all be over! Just imagine how happy you will be if all these come true!
Good Charlotte - Hold On
This world, this world is cold
But you don't, you don't have to go
You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
Your mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go thru
Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Your days you say they're way too long
And your nights you can't sleep at all (hold on)
And you're not sure what you're waiting for
But you don't want to know more
And you're not sure what you're waiting for but you
don't want to know more
But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through
Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over...hold on
What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?
Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over...
Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on
Good Charlotte - Young & Hopeless
Hard days made me, hard nights shaped me
I don't know they somehow saved me
And I know I'm making something out of this life they called nothing
I take what I want
Take what I need
They say it's wrong but it's right for me
I won't look down
Won't say I'm sorry
I know that only God can judge me
And if I make it thru today will tomorrow be the same
Am I just running in place?
If I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on or will it all just be the same
'Cause, I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
No one in this industry understands the life I lead
When I sing about my past it's not a gimmick not an act
These critics and these trust fund kids
Try to tell me what punk is but when I see them on the streets
They got nothing to say
And if I make it thru today will tomorrow be the same
Am I just running in place?
If I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on or will it all just be the same
'Cause, I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
I don't care, now I don't care
I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
That I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
I don't care
I don't care
Good Charlotte - Festival Song
Don't care about a thing today
I used to but I'm fed up
And I can hear the words you say
I wish that you would shut up
I got responsiblity
That is my liability
A menace to society
At least that's what they say to me but
Tonight, tonight, it's on tonight
I don't want your boring life
And I don't want your 9 to 5
Or anyone to tell me how to live my life
People always tell me not to waste my time
To get a real job and get back in line
You can say I'll never be a millionaire
Tell me this guitar won't get me anywhere
I've got responisbilty
That is my liability
I'm questioning authority
They say there's not a chance for me...
Your future's no future
Your future's no future
Your future's no futre
I control my future
I'm leaving
I'm leaving
I'm leaving
I'm leaving tonight
Good Charlotte - The Click
Just because i walk like Obie Won Kenobie
you people talk but you dont even know me
And all these guys i think they wanna fight me
And all these girls i know that they don't like me
Some people laugh
they do it just to spite me
Behind my back
They don't know what i see
But I dont care what they say
I dont need them anyway
I'll just go about my day
but anyway
You go out on Friday night
i'll stay in but thats all right
cuz i have found a clique to call my own
in crowd out crowd I dont care
Your crowd my crowd we cant share
cuz i have found a clique to call my own
So come and talk to me on my computer screen
the best years of our lives arent as easy as they seem
but one day we'll look back and then we'll have to laugh
they use to call us names now they want our autographs
But I dont care what they say
I dont need them anyway
I'll just go about my day
but anyway
You go out on Friday night
i'll stay in but thats all right
cuz i have found a clique to call my own
in crowd out crowd I dont care
Your crowd my crowd we cant share
cuz i have found a clique to call my own
I don't care what you say
I don't need you anyway
I'll just go about my day
But anyway...
I don't care what you say
I don't need you anyway
I'll just go about my day
But anyway...
Jaded - Mest
There's a time and place, for everything.
There's a reason why, certain people meet.
There's a destination, for everyone.
What's the explanation, when we're done?
All the summer nights spent wondering;
So many questions asked, but no one's answering.
Would it be okay if I left today?
Took my chances on what you said was wrong?
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
I'll never regret these years.
Now here i sit, so far away.
Remembering all our memories.
Its times like these that I miss you most,
Remembering when we were so close.
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, we'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
We'll never forget the places we've been, you and i.
Our lives are slipping away
Don't want to let time pass us by...
*June 1st ~ As of today my bank account is up to 7,705, it's my first day on accutane (no side effects yet) and i weigh 168, and i only did about 10 calc problems. =(
*June 2nd ~ I'm so unmotivated, it's not even funny! i HAVE to do my calc homework. i HAVE to study! i keep saying that but i never do it. i have 30 problems left before class tomorrow morning.
*June 3rd ~ Ok, so this morning a had a big zit under my nose and a big one on my arm, and yes I believe there is one on my foot!! weird huh? Just looked in the mirror and have 3 more zits on the right side of my face. I'm obviously in the inital break out stage. wonder how long it will last. had a slight headache off and on all day long, been much more thirsty than usual, my nose is definitely drier but my lips are nice and soft. my mouth has been sensitive to salt tho, it hurts to eat salsa/chips/A1 sauce. overall, i have felt out of sorts, as if i am on the verge of getting sick, but its no where near as bad as i feel when its that time of the month. but its still not fun. ah, 6 more months of this??? still havent lost my appetite yet (unfortunately), i was hoping that would help me with my weight loss goal. they changed my days at daycare so now i work tues/wed/thurs there and sat at blizzard so I think i will try to pick up extra hours either fri &/or sundays because otherwise i am not making near enough money. its hard with school. speaking of which, i have homework so i'll try to work on that now.
*June 4th ~ well i feel much better today (altho its only 1pm) but my stomach doesnt ache anymore it just feels apathetic (if stomachs can feel that?) anyways, much more zits today. ah. only 7 calc problems left and then im caught up! so tonight i will have to do those. but you know i have a problem, tomorrow after work im supposed to take ashley to the beach and spend the night with jeff at his condo...i wanna go but i dont wanna get sick or anything and id have to take my pills there. well ill try to suck it up.
*June 6th ~ went out to the beach and shot off fireworks and messed around with ashley stevie n jeff at the condo. me ashley and stevie didnt sleep at all we just stayed up talking all night. it was really fun! i hope we all get to do it again really soon! except we didnt actually go in the water cause i didnt wanna get sunburned. i skipped one pill this morning cause i didnt feel so good from lack of sleep so i hope that wont effect anything too much. i have a DISGUSTING breakout on the right side of my face. i hate it and i know everyone is staring at it! its so gross! PLEASE GO AWAY!! been reading other peoples journals to see when their breakouts stop and its not til like month 4! im still on WEEK ONE! please let this work for me PLEASE! im so sick of acne. why me?!?! well i bought my MADE jacket today!!! i would be even happier if it fit! its waaaaaaaay too big but i *hope* it will shrink if i wash it in hot water and dry it on high. well i need sleep. hopefully my face will look better in the morning! *took EFA & vit. E at night*
*June 15 - 15 days of accutane under my belt! gotta get bloodwork done on Friday. yuck. anyways heres my side effects so far: dry lips (not horrible tho), sore throat (after i talk for a while), slight headache every once and a while but goes away on its own sometimes or sometimes after i take advil. sometimes i get chest pains but theyre nothing compared to the chest pains i used to get and it usually only happens after i bend over or something and then when i come up its like some pressure on my chest. doesnt really hurt that bad. slight backache every once in a while. so far i havent felt worse than when i get my period. thats about all my side effects. oh im real thirsty all the time but thats expected. gotta calc test on tues and i REALLY need to study hard.
*June 16 ~ Ok, here's the deal! Just weighed in at 167 =( Im not allowed to exercise on accutane so i dont know what im gonna do. im gonna ask my doc if its ok if i run. my bank acct is sitting somewhere around 8,100. im thinkin im not gonna make 1900 in 1.5 months. AND tomorrow is my second calc test so here comes one incredibly long day of study. pleeeease let me do good! i really wanna pass this class!! here goes nothin!
*June 20 ~ i really hope i can go running tonight cause i need to relieve some stress. no real side effects, got a little crack on my right side of where my lips meet. and my feet are peeling but i dont know if its from medicine or blizzards gross water. theres only like 1 more month of summer...how sad...but im ready for fall so i can see GC and mest! i wanna go to warped tour so maybe i can go to the one in atlanta! doubt it tho. gotta work at stupid blizzard tomorrow...hope i get to train anyone. well gonna go make a running tape just in case.
*June 30 ~ still havent gone running yet but hope to soon. still have painful cracks on the edges of my lips. ive had a lot of nausea, really havent eaten much in the last two days. i like this, im hoping ill lose some weight. i was buying clothes today for when i sub on wednesday at school and man i look so fat in everything! i gotta lose some weight!!! im at 167.5 still no change. my bank acct has barely moved (i think im at 8200). and i failed my 2nd calc test. im praying ill be able to pass the class with a C. i hope to do some pilates right now...
MONTH 1 IS OVER!!!
*July 21 - really havent had any side effects worth mentioning. a little sad but mostly bc of failing calc...i plan to go to the library today and study for some hours. and i pray that i do well on this next test. i am very sad that i cant go to warped tour on thurs. i havent decided if i should try to go or not.
