They always said a wise man lived on that mountain, and I always thought it a myth, and only when I really needed guidance, and figured a pointless adventure wouldnt hurt either, I started my pursuit. The mountain really earns it's name, the ReallyFuckingHardtoClimb Mountain does. High winds, treacherous cliffs, and a few families of yeti(though some were quite friendly) didn't help the quest. Finally, after days of climbing, at my wits end, the summit was in sight. Within a few hours I was atop the the peak, and damned if I didn't get the wrong mountain. Shattered, and more than a little mad, I descend the mountain, and start up the neighboring mountain, PleaseDontClimbMe Mountain. They say this one actually moves when you climb it...how right they are. I won't even get into the outrageous obstacles overcome on this one. Several Days after my start, I arrive at the top, this time having the right place. Shaking off the cold, I sit next to a fire that a strange man sits at, seemingly in that position for a thousand years.

I peer into his ancient, lined face, and tell him of my search for guidance for whatever problem it is I have. He explains he knows why I came, and proceeds to help me accordingly.

I'll never forget the words the old man gave me: 'cacti', 'screwdriver', and 'Indianapolis'.