Full Name: Kevin Stanly Warzala
Nicknames: Sideburns, SBK, Kevin Warzizzle
Height: 5 foot something
Weight: Enough to be slightly chubby
Age: 19
Hair Factor: I'm a hairy motherfucker
Major: Undeclared!
GPA: 3.0
Penis Length: 2 QUALITY inches, baby!
Underwear style: Boxer-briefs
Religion: Hardcore Humanist-Atheist
Claim to Fame: This website
Super Power: Not afraid to walk around in a thong
Masturbation Habits: From the second my roommate leaves until the minute he gets back
Hugability: I'm quite squishy
Turn-ons: Women
Turn-offs: Alex
Bad Habits: Singing all the time
Thing That Everyone Makes Fun Of: I'm Polish
Favorite Bands: Lostprophets, Mest, Korn, Spiritfall, Linkin Park, The Ataris, Sevendust, and my favorite band of all, VIVA LA COCKAROCHA!!!
Favorite Movies: Pulp Fiction, X-Men, Spider-Man, Daredevil, Hulk, Kung-Pow, Out Cold, The Spirits Within
Favorite Video Game: Super Smash Brothers, cuz I rawk the fucking hizouse
Favorite Books (If applicable): Night, and anything by Shakespeare
Favorite Position (If applicable): I'll let you choose
Favorite Quotes: "You're good baby, I'll give you that. But me...I'm magic." - Bullseye
Favorite Sports: What the hell is a "sports"?
Drink of Choice: Bloody Mary, spicier than all hell
If I were an ice-cream flavor: Chunky Monkey, just cuz it's a cool name
If I were an animal: Kirby!
If I were a superhero: Vincent Vega
If I were a car: Any one that had people having sex in the backseat
What my friends say about me:
"he's the shiznit" - John
"funny looking" - Adam
"face it, I'm a total failure of a quote source" - Nate
"Sideburns Smash!" - Alex
"By far, the best guy I've ever spooned with." - Alex
"kevin is capable of love on many levels. some of which are disturbing and leave you with rugburns on your shoulder." - Hugo
"a virtuoso with the tartar prevention" - Mark
