Mood: hug me
Now Playing: nothing at all
it's too damn quiet right now. i need some EFFIN' NOISE! i'm at school and everything seems to be going wrong. i don't know what it is, but i always feel sad. some moments, yeah, they are ok. like i actually do smile every now and then. but only when i'm with either the wrong people. doing the wrong thing. it's like i love doing the wrong thing. it's just so much funner. i hate always having to live up to what seems as my potential. always trying to please someone, or if not that, always trying to be like someone.. who has pleased someone.
i think i might need to get on anti-depressants again. i stopped taking them - my own decision - because i thought it worse to take pills for happiness.. than to do nothing about sadness. i don't know how to explain it. i guess at heart i am just naturally depressed. nothing makes me happy. nothing that lasts, anyway.
i'm about to get early release though, so i will have to finish this later. much love, or what i perceive it to be - nava