Site hosted by Build your free website today!

Fat Joe Energy Drink

Every Tuesday night at 9:00PM for the last 13 weeks I watch The Shield on FX and each of those 13 Tuesday's I see a commercial for an energy drink, I think it's called YJ Stinger. If the name of the drink weren't dumb enough, the man endorsing it makes it, maybe, one of the dumbest things I've seen. Now, I understand that there is a quasi-energy drink craze since Red Bull got popular. Most crazes or fads (see Atkins Diet below) piss me off, but the energy drink doesn't. I guess I don't mind people paying $6 an 8oz can for some energy. OK back to the YJ Stinger drink. One of the commercials starts with a bunch of people in a club dancing and having a good time. Then somebody pulls out one of these drinks and opens it. Then a bunch of bees or hornets or some kind of flying stinging insects fly out and everybody looks surprised. Then, of all people to endorse an ENERGY drink, Fat Joe shows up. If you don't know what Fat Joe looks like, his name should give you an idea of his physique. It seems quite ironic to me that a man weighing at least 400lbs is endorsing a drink that boosts energy. Fat Joe then proceeds to open a can of YJ Stinger and more bees fly out and then everyone starts dancing and having fun again, more fun than before the drinks were opened I imagine. This part is also confusing to me. I don't know about anyone else, but if I was at the club and bees started flying all over the place I'd be a tad pissed off. I'd be like "Hey! Who the fuck let all the bees out?! Was it you Fat Joe? Yeah bees in the club are real fucking cool, why don't you go make a rap song with Ashanti you fat lump of shit." Then I'd go find a bee hive and throw it at him for letting all the bees out. Seriously, who wants an energy drink that comes with bees? The other YJ Stinger commercial that I've been seeing more of starts off with what appears to be two rival gangs, one fronted by some loser nobody and the other fronted by the nororious Fat Joe. The two gangs walk slowly towards one another. Just when things start to look serious my palms begin sweating in anticipation only to be followed by Fat Joe and the other guy pulling out YJ Stingers. Then they give each other a gangsta hug and laugh and smile. It's like if they were to pull out two separate drinks then they would throw down. This commercial made me think. If energy drinks solve these gang problems, then I'm going to start a program in which YJ Stingers are distributed to each and every gang in every major urban area because everybody knows that thugs love energy drinks. This way there will be no more gang violence and I'll boost the economy, let alone energy, while winning a Nobel Peace Prize at the same time. At the end of the commercial Fat Joe makes, what must be a hilarious joke to him, about Red Bull; he holds up the YJ Stinger and says "And this... ain't no bull. Hahahahahahahaha." In case this joke is above you and you didn't find it as funny as Fat Joe did, he is saying that YJ Stinger is not Red Bull by simply referring to it as "bull". Proceed with unrehearsed laughter.