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In the Depths of the internet lies the truth, and ye shall bear witness to the first coming of the almighty Banera...
How the presence of Banera came to me:




As I sat in front of my computer on April 20th, 2001, I was visited by an apparition of a monkey like creature smoking a blunt. He appeared on my screen and said unto me;"Go forth my Prophet, and spread the word of I; the almighty Banera, lord of the banners, bringer of the ads. Ye shall be my eyes and ears in the physical realm. I give you a likeness of Me and my commandments, show them to the world, for that is my will..."

  THE 13 COMMANDMENTS;

1. Ye shall go forth and smoke cannabis..



2. Ye shall party your ass off..



3. Ye shall celebrate the date of my first coming; 4, 20; the holiest of days..



4. Ye shall listen to Insane Clown Posse and Rob Zombie, for they are my musical prophets..



5. Ye shall share your bounty unto me when getting stoned..


6. Ye shall love thy dealer as you would have them love you..





7. Ye shalt not look unto me for answers, for I have none..





8. Ye shalt not think of me as something CrystalWrayth made up..





9. Though shall bid on Ebay every other day..





10. Ye shalt not finger a dog's ass, but a cat is ok..





11. Ye shalt not scratch thy ass and then lick thy fingers when praying to me..





12. Ye shalt not pray to me for physical things, for I hate them and you will piss me off..





13. Ye shall listen to "Smooth Criminal", for that song is the shit..







---Banera and all things related to Him other than Insane Clown Posse, Rob Zombie, Ebay, Enron, and Micheal Jackson are completely original work created by me. Although I think I met the original creator of Micheal once...

Insane Clown Posse:

The first of Banera's Archangels; Violent Jay of the Axe, and Shaggy Dope of the Hatchet. If Banera were a corpse they would be His pallbearers...
  The Future Of The Human Race...As Foretold By Banera..


In the future, long after the rise and fall of the 420 National Monument, the race known as mankind will bear witness to the second coming of Me (BANERA) and all those devoted to Me shall be changed in appearance and mind into a new race known as Jointracians, 7 feet tall with with the face of Banera. And they shall live for the rest of eternity in a peace, surrounded by forests of cannabis...



However.. Those unwilling to believe in My Power and refuse My Love and plentifulness shall be tortured for the rest of all eternity by Evil Midgets with the teeth of a gopher and the claws of a duckbill platypus. This is My Foresight, and so shall it be...

CrystalWrayth;

The One True Prophet of Banera, spreading the word of Banera throughout the Internet.
  To Those Who Are Willing To Follow Banera...


I shall bid you thanks for believing in the great and almighty Banera, and to show your faithfullness and fortitude, you must sign the guestbook... announcing in the comments section or any other section that you are a loyal follower of Banera. Remember, I send messages to Banera via email every week telling Him of new followers.






This Page shall be updated constantly every so often until I get bored with it, then it will go down the drain like Enron stock or Micheal Jackson's chances of getting away from Big Bubba...Banera is a trademark of Evil Children Enterprises and shall not be copied or reproduced in any way without consent of the creator, which happens to be me, who happens to say No Way Bitch!




Proof Of Banera:

Witness in glory; a sign from Banera to his followers.