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My Story

[Vibe]:Chuckie Akenz - Goodbye

your first love will always be your last... as da fear grows stronger, n da pain cuts deeper, as ur tears begin to burn ur eyes, n a lump forms in ur throat, as u lay awake tossin n turnin, n all ur sleepless nights... dats wut a broken heart feels like... cure? i'd like 2 kno 2

Cable, what can I say? I liked him and I donít even know how to explain it. It was weird, you know? I thought he was just like the rest of them, selfish, self-centered, inconsiderate, and a wanna-be gangster. Then I stopped and talked to him. I got to know him and saw him for the person he really was. The way he would talk to me with adoration and care. Iím glad he has someone to call his own, someone he loves and loves him back. Iím happy for both of them because they got their second chance at love and I can tell that itís going to last. I know this is looking like another ďI let him go storyĒ and it is but Cable is not the guy.

Cable made me realize how stupid I was for letting him go. I mean I already felt stupid and I already hate myself for letting him go but Cable showed me that what I did was the dumbest thing anyone could do. It made me feel good when Cable told me that he couldnít let Tiff go. He showed me that true love is worth fighting for and I know that it is very hard to find. I just wish Thanh didnít let me go. I wish he hadnít let me break up with him because I really didnít want to.

When I broke up with him I wasnít thinking strait, I was stressed because of school and family and I completely disregarded all of his feelings. I was so selfish for thinking that I was the only one with problems. The only thing is I wish he had done was told me more. I wish he had confided in me as I did him instead of keep it locked up inside. It made me feel as if he didnít trust in me but I knew it was because he didnít want me to worry. The thing was; I worried more when he kept things from me than when he actually told me stuff.

I remember the night I called Thanh. I was scared and my eyes were burning from the tears I had already shed. I didnít know what else to do so I broke up with him. When we hung up I wanted to call him back and say, ďJust playingĒ and I wanted so much to tell him I loved him but I couldnít because the pain had already been done. I cried more than I had ever cried that night. As much as I wanted to stop crying I couldnít help myself. The tears kept flowing and my heart never hurt so much.

When I talk to Cable it brings back memories of when I was with Thanh. I loved him so much and I was so afraid of losing him. I could tell from the very beginning that Cable was deeply in love with Tiff and Iím glad he didnít give up. I still love Thanh with all my heart and I wish I could only have him back. I wish he still loved me like I love him. Every time I think of him my heart breaks again. Every time I get a flashback I find myself crying.

This is the part where Cable leaves my story; I hope everything goes great for you and Tiff. I hope you donít ever let anything come between the two of you. Cherish what you guys have and never let go. If you fight fix it because nothing is worth losing your true love. Thanks a lot Cable for opening my eyes. Thanks for letting me understand you. I know weíre supposed to be enemies but youíre not an enemy to me.

Back to my story, there were nights when I would dream of Thanh. Iíd find myself waking up and realizing that it was just a dream and it hurt so much that he wasnít mine any more. I tried to replace him with other guys but it just wasnít the same. No one could fill his place in my heart. I would just go out with guys just to make him jealous or something stupid like that because I thought he didnít love me anymore. Even now Iím not even sure how he feels about me and I wish I did.

I remember the day I dropped off Duckie at his house. I freaked out so bad, I was so afraid to see him again. I knew that if I saw him I would cry and I did. I remember as I was walking up to his house from the car I got scared and ran back to Susieís car and we drove around. Susie finally convinced me to go and drop off Duckie and I did. When I saw him I couldnít say a word. I just forced a smile and put my head down. With the hat I was wearing he couldnít see my eyes or that I was crying.

I thought I would be able to let him go once I gave back Duckie but I ended up missing both of them. I found myself waking up in the middle of the night looking for Duckie to cuddle as I slept like I did everyday when I still had him. But then Iíd realize that I gave him back and so I just lay in my bed as the memories of Thanh play over and over in my mind until I fell asleep. I wish I could tell him how I felt but he already told me he didnít want to hurt me again. The thing is he wasnít the one who hurt me I hurt myself by being so stupid. I still love him as much as I did then. I wish I only knew how he felt.

Thatís my story. I donít know. All I have to say is when you love someone donít take it for granted. Donít let anything get in between the two of you. Donít be stupid like I was because I promise you that youíll regret it.

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