Hello my name is Robert Charles Curtis. I was born in Muncie,IN. I attended Garfield elementary until the 4th grade. Then I tranfered to Sound The Alarm Christian Acd. As I was growing up I had this uncle that sexually molested me. I never told anyone because I was too ashamed. So I went on with my life. I became a loner! I put on a show even thru school. I graduated back in 1991. I had a big class of 3. i played basketball for the where I finished 2nd on the all-time scoring and 1st on block shots and rebounds. (maybe because I stand 6'6").
Back in the summer of 1991 my family moved to New Castle, IN
I started dating a girl named Jennifer Carr. After we broke up I joined the marines. I was stationed at Camp Lejune,NC. when I got out of the Marines I started dating Charity Goodman. Things didn't work out there either. One day I ran into a friend and we started hanging out. I would go over to see if he was there and he would be gone. So me and his sister started hanging out. Her name was Christina Gunn. We did everything together fishing; dancing; you name it. Well this guy ended up getting feeling for this . as so was she. We started dating and got along great. One day we found out that she was pregnant. We were going to be mommy and daddy! We had Ryan Scott Curtis. Everyone tried to get me to marry this young . "Marry her make her a real woman" The thing was I was scared of marriage. I have a bad family history of divorce and I wasn't going to be another number. well as time went by we ended up pregnant again. By this time I was ready to get married but I was still scared. On July 2 i went home asked mom if she could watch Ryan. I took Christina up to the courthouse to get our licence.
I was scared to . I know I wanted to marry her and she wanted to marry me but i was scared less. 2 days later on 4th of july we were married in our back yard. We went to sunshine cafe and had dinner (at noblesville) then we drove around town looking for motel. we ended up back in New Castle where we stayed at the New Castle Inn. Why we didn't go home we dont know! We woke up and went to the Indianapolis Zoo. We rode an elephant and had a great time.
Time went by and we had Spencer Chase Curtis. Our family was growing but our love was dieing! We still got along great with each other sometimes but like every marriage we had our times. One day I decided that i wasn't happy so i talked to this girl I worked with. seems we both were in the same boat. Somehow I let myself get attach to this . she moved to North Carolina. I was heart broken who would I lean on. So I left Christina to go be with her. I drove all the way to N.C. to be with her and I kept on driving. All the way to S.C. I called Christina and begged her to let me come home. She did! We ended up getting back into the swing of things except I refused to take my meds. I have a chemical unbalance. which makes me do crazy things. I didnt want my meds so I didnt take them. One day one of Christina's friends came over. I just went out and got Christina a playgirl and was showing her friend it. They had a contest in there. where you could win prizes and a layout. Well we had taken some pics and I asked her friend if she thought I could do it? She told me she didn't know. So I went out and got the pics and told her to look at them. I told her how I was dressed. She took the pics and said that she really couldn't tell. I told her that they were the only pics that I had of me like that. Well to make it short I told her that I could show her and she said O.K. so I did. The whole time Christina was in the bathroom. Somehow I did it again I let my mind run away from my wife. I hurt her again. I cant't believe I was soooo stupid. Well some things happen and me and her worked things out and stayed together. I made alot of promises that I meant to keep but didn't. I let things get back to the way they were. well as time went by we again for the 3rd time got ourself pregant. Money was hard to come by for 4 people now there was going to be 5. I still worked at CarQuest and not doing a good job at making the money. So I went out and got me a job at the liquer store. While I worked there I got to know alot of people started talking to them about my problems at the time I thought was Christina. We ended up having Sheldon Robert Curtis. This time Christina started to hemarage so I knew we were done with the babies. I set up an appointment and went and had a vas done. I knew she couldn't have anymore kids and I didn't want anymore. Even though I did want a girl sometime. I just couldn't afford a basketball team. lol
I really didn't talk to Christina about it. I had it set in my head this is what I'm going to do! I got the oppertunity to start a new job at Sav-A-Lot in muncie. so I took the job. Me and Christina wasn't getting along that well and we didn't get to spend much time together. But we made it work out. We lost our house in New Castle. Lost our Car. Lost our LOVE! Well we moved to Muncie so I could be closer to work. Everything seemed to be going great. I had a new job; new house; friends; everything! We actually started getting along pretty good. Except for that I never changed. Everything was still about me. I would go places and leave Christina home with the kids. I would buy things just for me. When I went to the store I only bought the things That I wanted and liked. ME! ME! ME! The only time that I spent with Christina was when I wanted something. When we would watch a movie I would fall asleep. We only watched movies that I wanted to see (then I would fall asleep) I thought things were going good. but what I didn't see was that I was tearing Christina to pieces with my comments; my actions; my jeolusy. I tried to discourage her from going to college. mainly because I was JEALOUS I never got to go! I was supposed to be this big basketball star. Supposed to make $$$ Instead I turned out to be a CURTIS (a broke loser)
As time went by Christina wanted to be able to get out and do stuff. Get a break from the boys. So I let her go play pool with a friend. As time went on the nights got longer and our love got weaker. Until onenight she came home at 3:30 a.m. I knew the bars close at 3:00 a.m. When she left that night we were going to make love. when she came home I was mad and hurt. I still wanted to have sex. But she didn't. So I went and slept on the couch. The next day I got a phone call asking if I could play softball so I went. After the game I came home and nobody was here so I left. I was still mad. I stayed out all evening. Came home that night and started yelling at Christina. She finally said that we were done. she couldn't take anymore! I was like fine I'll get a lawyer. I was upset and hurt. I got scared because I knew she couldn't make it without me. She was proving me wrong! She sarted dating this guy. I was very upset at that. I knew what kind of guy he was and she wouldn't listen to me. which made me more mad. So everytime I would see her we would fight. I would cuss her cuss him. I was very shitty about this whole odeal. One night Christina needed the boys blankets and pillows. She asked if I could bring the over. So I did she had called the police to be here so I wouldn't cause a fight. when I got there the POLICE had me arrested. As much as everyone thinks it was not Christina. I thought that at first too. but now I look back and see how I was. I would have called them on me too! Well as time went by I had a wake up call. I realized that I had to change! I had to start with the "man in the mirror" (thanks mike) I started taking my meds and I went to get help! Yes I went to a head doctor! I realized that there are other people out there in this world besides me. I started listening to my heart and doing what it told me to do. I finally knew what it felt like to be a daddy! I never knew that before. I knew what it felt like to LOVE someone. To want to be with that special person whom I loved. I turned my back on everything I was brought up to be and became my own human being. I stopped doing what others told me to do. This is my life and I need to live it like I need to not like others think I should! And that is what I'm doing. It took alot of time to get here but I did it. Yes it took meds and a doctor to do. SO WHAT SUE ME! All that matters is that I'm ME!!! I may fall sometimes but oh well I'll get up dust myself off and try it again. Me and Christina are still going thru a divorce. Nobody should blame her look at all the crap I did to her. Yes I love her more then anyone will ever know. But let me tell you something about this lady. For years she stood beside me. She hollowed out for help and I ignored her cries. I stepped all over her dreams. I showed her no respect in any way. I treated her like a slave; a sex slave; like a little kid. She never asked for anything expensive; nothing out of the way; to be treated like I treated her. All she asked for was MY LOVE. She wanted to be able to feel needed. When I told her that I loved her not only did she hear it she felt it too. She wanted to know without any doubt that I loved her. I let her down for the 3rd and final time. You see people can blame her but it was me! I didn't see any of this until it was to late. You see she didn't leave me I left her along time ago. I'm sorry Christina! I should have loved you like I do now along tome ago. Me and Christina are friends now. you might ask if we will ever get back together. When you bite a sour apple do you go back and take another bite? NO YOU DONT!!! Christina took 3 bites out of this apple. Before she got sick. If she takes another bite its on her. As much as I want to be a family again. I want them to be happy and not worry about when am I going to change; leave; stop taking my meds; or start thinking its all about ME. Anyway as time went by I ended up getting sick. I keep passing out. I passed out while driving and hit a telephone pole.(OUCH)At first I thought it was because I popped my neck. Well I get dizzy when I bend down or lay down and then stand up. I've passed out and hit my head on the toilet and door (OUCH! OUCH!) 2 bumps on the head. I've spent the night in the hospital. The doctors don't know whats wrong with me. I'm getting to the point where I dont care any more. I ended up losing my job at SAV-A-LOT where i was making 18.55-20.55 an hour. Probably going to lose this house too. I really dont know what to do anymore. Now I'm a real CURTIS (sick poor loser) I guess I'll just have to get up and dust myself off again. Two days ago i took alot of pills. i wanted to end my life. you see I realized that i lost everything. thanks christina for calling the cops. well this is my LIFE. I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you learn anything from this please let me know!!!
Please take the time to sign my guest book. I would like to know if anyone really reads this or if i just wasted my time.
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The Final Chapter
indianapolis 3-24-04
