By Ed Henry Roll Call Staff

Monday, Jul. 14; 10:09am

Forget about the stories focusing on alleged uranium sales in Africa and the Democratic presidential race. The real gossip whipping through Capitol Hill involves a failed romance between two interns in Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison's (R-Texas) office.

Creating his own weapon of mass destruction, the male intern in question fired off an e-mail last month, titled "you suck," to the female intern, his former gal pal.

The missive has since been forwarded to thousands of people on the Hill, spreading like wildfire during a gossip-starved summer and getting the male intern forced out of Hutchison's office.

The line that everyone seems to be focusing on comes when the male tells the female: "Everyone knows you are a pathetic social climber who will go to any discusting [sic] means to move up the ladder. But guess what [name withheld], you will never move up the ladder because I am at the top and people like me hate people like you."

The note, which was obviously written without the benefit of a spell checker by this fellow, reveals just how nasty things can get when preppy love fails.

"Well, as of this afternoon, I was planning on ruining your career by making phone calls to all of my parents [sic] friends and have you blackballed from the workplace as well as every prestigious law school in the country, but then (lucky for you) I decided not to do that because you are a sad sad person and I will just let your life self-destruct right before my eyes," he begins the note.

He adds helpfully that regardless of what kind of "sadistic" crush she has on him, "people like me simple [sic] don't date people like you. You are too competitive with me and you just simply will never be better than me."

And then, proving that he is perhaps ready for the nation's most prestigious law schools, he adds: "I will always have more friends than you just because I don't care about beating people and lying to get to the top. (You are an absolute hipocrit [sic] in everything that you do, I am not going to go into details why you are because that would be a waste of my time and yours but I can assure you if you were to ever meet yourself you would hate your twin)."

And for good measure, he adds: "You suck! And good luck being miserable for the rest of your life. I do not even know why I wasted my time typing this for suck slime."

Proving the high opinion he has for himself, the chap signed the note, "Once again from your intellectual, moral, social and emotional superior."

Hutchison spokesman Kevin Schweers confirmed the authenticity of the e-mail to HOH. He added that while the male intern sent the note from a non-Senate e-mail account, the guy was canned nonetheless.

"As soon as it was brought to the attention of our internship coordinator, they had a very frank discussion, and he was dismissed," said Schweers, who added that the female intern's time in the office naturally expired so she has moved on.

The buzz on the Hill is that the two interns had been pictured together in a photo on Hutchison's official Web site from an event with the Senator. Schweers said the photo was taken down after its existence was pointed out to Hutchison's staff.

Staffers in both chambers, meanwhile, are still happily forwarding the e-mail around at this writing.

"This young intern ought to know that one must learn how to use spell-check before one is even allowed on the ladder," one veteran Congressional aide cracked about the climbing-the-ladder aspect of the correspondence. "Now he should really go fetch me a latte and fill the copier with some paper."

Click here for more news stories about Paul Kelly Tripplehorn Jr.

Well, as of this afternoon, I was planning on ruining your career by making phone calls to all of my parents friends and have you blackballed from the workplace as well as every prestigous law school in the country, but then (lucky for you) I decided not to do that because you are a sad sad person and I will just let your life self destruct right before my eyes....

NAME_WITHHELD I am sorry, I don't care how big of sadistic fucked up crush you have on me but people like me simple don't date people like you. You are too competitive with me and you just simply will never be better than me. I will always have more friends than you just because I don't care about beating people and lying to get to the top. (You are an absolute hipocrit in everything that you do, I am not going to go into details why you are because that would be a waste of my time and yours but I can assure you if you were to ever meet yourself you would hate your twin) I have told most all of the staff about our situation now and they already knew you were really messed you. They said when you were talking to them about me, they all told me you had "serious issues" and that every word you said sounded scripted and they knew without a doubt that you were lying. I have noticed that people who you think are your good friends actually really dislike you but unlike me, they will not tell you to your face because they would rather be fake nice to you than be your enemy. ....

Now talking about how I am obsessed with money, I simply am not. You are. You always are trying to impress me by how much money you have and I don't care. The difference is though I talk about it but it is never about bragging and it is never directly about money, it is always directly about the conversation.

For instance, someone will ask, what are you doing for july 4rth. And then I will say I am going to aspen. It is a simple fact that I am but since you don't have a house in aspen, you get offended because of your competitive nature. When you talk about money you will say something like UT's tuition is 5% of your family's income, thus my tuition would be 125,000. Yea,

NAME_WITHHELD you are right, I brag too much about what I have.... Well I am just going to stop writing because you are just absolutely beneath me. I have heard that you try to undermine people all t! he time that are better than you and every single time it does not work because people can see through such shallowness and that is why as I have heard so many times, Most "everyone at UT absolutely hates you." For instance even the people that you thought were your friends FRIENDSNAMEWITHHELD or that girl you met at espn, they hate you, they just never say anything. Everyone knows you are a pathetic social climber who will go to any discusting means to move up the ladder.

But guess what NAME_WITHHELD, you will never move up the ladder because I am at the top and people like me hate people like you. You might be able to trick people like me for maybe a month or so but your true personality comes through after a while and it is vile, if that. You have sooooo many people that absolutely hate you and you will never know it because they will never say anything to your face. You will not succeed in life and even the staff thinks that also, after I told them about the things that you do. You suck!

and good luck being miserable for the rest of your life. I do not even know why I wasted my time typing this for suck slime. Everyone tells me that you are so beneath me (which you are) and I should not get worked up over suck trifles.

By the end of the day if I wanted to, I could make a phone call and have your life absolutely ruined but there is no need because you are falling fast enough towards failure without me. In the end, all I can say is that people love me and people hate you. You should observe me and take a few notes on how to make real friends. Other than you tieing this one other person, I have never had such little respect for a human being in my life. I don't even have to tell you why because in my very accurate analysis that most everyone else agrees with, if you were to agree with my analysis that most everyone else agrees with, if you were to agree with my analyis about your character than my whole entire analysis would be wrong.

Your inflamed ego has left you so blind and so impotent that you can nto even recognize the most obvious flaws in yourself. All your old roommates absolutely hated you and you still think the problem is with them, not you. Well I talked to your roommates and I thought they nice normal girls. So naturally, you would not fit in with them because you are so intellectually above them all. Right? You suck at life and you need to figure out why or you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

Once again from your intellectual, moral, social, and emotional superior,
Paul Kelly Tripplehorn, Jr.