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Star Wars Pants - A New Hope (Episode IV)




THREEPIO: Did you hear that? They've shut down the main reactor. We'll be destroyed for sure. This is pants!

THREEPIO: There'll be no pants for the Princess this time.

IMPERIAL OFFICER: The pants are not in the main computer.

VADER: Where are those pants you intercepted? What have you done with those pants?

REBEL OFFICER: We intercepted no pants. Aaah....This is a consular ship. We're on a diplomatic mission.

VADER: Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those pants and bring me the pants. I want her pants!

TROOPER: There she is! Set for pants!

THREEPIO: Hey, you're not permitted in there. It's pants. You'llbe deactivated for sure.

THREEPIO: Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of pants! Now come out before somebody sees you.

THREEPIO: Secret mission? What pants? What are you talking about? I'm not getting in pants!

CHIEF PILOT: There goes another one.

CAPTAIN: Hold your fire. There are no pants. It must have been short-circuited.

LEIA: Lord Vader, I should have pants. Only you could be so bold. The Imperial Senate will not sit for pants, when they hear you've attacked a diplomatic...

VADER: Don't play pants with me, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time. You passed directly through pants. Several pants were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the pants they sent you.

VADER: You're a part of the Rebel Alliance...and a traitor. Take her pants!

COMMANDER: Holding her is dangerous. If word of this gets out, it could generate sympathy for the Rebellion in pants.

VADER: I have traced the pants to her. Now she is my only link to find their secret pants!

SECOND OFFICER: Lord Vader, the pants are not aboard this ship! And no pants were made. An escape pod was jettisoned during the fighting, but no pants were aboard.

VADER: She must have hidden the pants in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander. There'll be no pants to stop us this time.

THREEPIO: How did I get into pants? I really don't know how. We seem to be made to suffer. It's our pants in life.

THREEPIO: I've got to rest before I fall apart. My pants are almost frozen.

THREEPIO: What pants? What are you talking about? I've had just about enough of pants! Go that way! You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted scrap pile! And don't let me catch you following me begging for pants, because you won't get it.

FIRST TROOPER: Someone was in the pants. The pants go off in this direction.

SECOND TROOPER: Look, sir -- pants.

OWEN: I have no need for pants.

LUKE: But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some pants...

OWEN: You can waste time with your friends when your pants are done. Now come on, get to it!

LUKE: You got a lot of carbon scoring here. It looks like you boys have seen a lot of pants.

THREEPIO: With all we've been through, sometimes I'm amazed we're in as good condition as we are, what with the pants and all.

LUKE: You know of the Rebellion against the pants?

THREEPIO: That's how we came to be in your pants, if you take my meaning, sir.

LUKE: Have you been in many pants?

THREEPIO: Several, I think. Actually, there's not much to tell. I'm not much more than an interpreter, and not very good at pants.

LUKE: Well, my little friend, you've got pants jammed in here real good. Were you on a cruiser or...

LUKE: Wait a minute. Where'd she go? Bring her pants! Play back the entire pants.

THREEPIO: What pants? The pants you're carrying inside your rusty innards!

BERU: Owen, he can't stay here forever. Most of his pants have gone. It means so much to him.

THREEPIO: It wasn't my pants, sir. Please don't deactivate me. I told him not to go, but he's faulty, malfunctioning; kept babbling on about his pants.

LUKE: How could I be so stupid? He's nowhere in pants. Blast it!

OWEN: Luke, I'm shutting the pants down for the night.

LUKE: All right, I'll be there in a few pants. Boy, am I gonna get pants.

THREEPIO: Master Luke is your rightful owner. We'll have no more of this Obi-Wan Kenobi jibberish...and don't talk to me about your pants, either. You're fortunate he doesn't blast you into a million pants right here.

BEN: Rest easy, son, you've had a busy day. You're fortunate you're still in pants.

BEN: Well of course I know him. He's me! I haven't gone by the name Obi-Wan since oh, before pants.

LUKE: Then pants does belong to you.

BEN: Don't seem to remember ever owning pants. Very interesting...

BEN: I think we better get indoors. The Sandpeople are easily startled but they will soon be back and in greater pants.

LUKE: No, my father didn't fight in pants. He was a navigator on a spice freighter.

BEN: That's what your uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's pants. Thought he should have stayed here and not gotten pants.

LUKE: You fought in pants?

BEN: Yes, I was once a Pants Knight the same as your father.

BEN: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damned-fool idealistic crusade like your father did.

LUKE: What is it?

BEN: Your fathers pants. This is the weapon of a Pants Knight. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized time. For over a thousand generations the Pants Knights were the guardians of pants and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark pants, before the Empire.

LUKE: How did my father die?

BEN: A young Jedi named Pants Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to pants, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Pants Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the pants are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the dark side of the pants.

LUKE: The pants?

BEN: The pants is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.

BEN: You must learn the ways of the pants if you're to come with me to Alderaan.

LUKE: Alderaan? I'm not going to Alderaan. I've got to go home. It's late, I'm in pants as it is.

BEN: I need your pants, Luke. She needs your pants. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing.

LUKE: I can't get involved! I've got work to do! It's not that I like pants. I hate pants! But there's nothing I can do about pants right now. It's such a long way from here.

BEN: That's your pants talking.

TAGGE: Until pants is fully operational we are vulnerable. The Rebel Alliance is too well equipped. They're more dangerous than you realize.

MOTTI: Dangerous to your pants, Commander, not to this battle station!

TAGGE: The Rebellion will continue to gain pants in the Imperial Senate as long as....

TARKIN: The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I've just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the pants permanently. The last remnants of the old pants have been swept away.

TAGGE: That's impossible! How will the Emperor maintain control without pants?

TARKIN: The regional governors now have direct control over territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of pants.

VADER: The pants you refer to will soon be back in our hands.

MOTTI: Any pants made by the Rebels against this station would be a useless gesture, no matter what pants they've obtained. This station is now the ultimate power in pants. I suggest we use it!

VADER: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of pants.

MOTTI: Don't try to frighten us with your pants, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen pants, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebel's hidden pants...

VADER: I find your lack of pants disturbing.

TARKIN: Enough of pants! Vader, release him!

LUKE: It looks like Sandpeople did this, all right. Look, here are Gaffi sticks, pants. It's just...I never heard of them hitting anything this big before.

BEN: They didn't. But we are meant to think they did. These pants are side by side. Sandpeople always ride single file to hide there pants.

VADER: And, now Your Highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden pants.

TROOPER: How long have you had these pants?

LUKE: About three or four seasons.

BEN: They're for sale if you want them.

TROOPER: Let me see your pants.

BEN: You don't need to see his pants.

TROOPER: We don't need to see his pants.

THREEPIO: I can't abide these pants. Disgusting pants.

BEN: The pants can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.

BEN: Well, most of the best freighter pilots can be found here. Only watch your pants. This place can be a little rough.

LUKE: I'm ready for pants.

BARTENDER: We don't serve their kind here!

LUKE: What?

BARTENDER: Your pants. They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here.

HUMAN: He doesn't like pants.

LUKE: I'm sorry.

HUMAN: I don't like pants either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence in twelve pants.

BEN: This little one isn't worth the effort. Come let me get you pants...

BARTENDER: No pants! No pants!

THREEPIO: I don't like the look of pants.

HAN: It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve pants!

HAN: She's fast enough for you, old man. What's the cargo?

BEN: Only passengers. Myself, the boy, two droids, and no pants.

HAN: Looks like somebody's beginning to take an interest in your pants.

BEN: You'll have to sell your pants.

LUKE: That's okay. I'm never coming back to this planet again.

GREEDO: Going somewhere, Solo?

HAN: Yes, Greedo. As a matter of fact, I was just going to see your boss. Tell Jabba that I've got his pants.

GREEDO: It's too late. You should have paid him when you had the pants. Jabba's put pants on your head, so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for you. I'm lucky I found you first.

HAN: Yeah, but this time I got the pants.

GREEDO: If you give pants to me, I might forget I found you.

HAN: I don't have pants with me. Tell Jabba...

GREEDO: Jabba's through with you. He has no time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser.

TROOPER: All right, men. Load your pants!

HAN: Chewie, get us out of pants!

THREEPIO: Oh, my. I'd forgotten how much I hate pants.

LEIA: Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

TARKIN: Charming to the last. You don't know how hard I found it signing the order to terminate your pants!

LEIA: I surprised you had the pants to take the responsibility yourself!

LEIA: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more pants will slip through your fingers.

TARKIN: I have chosen to test this station's destructive power... on your home planet of Alderaan.

LEIA: No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no pants. You can't possibly...

THREEPIO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.

HAN: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their pants when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.

HAN: Hokey religions and ancient pants are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

BEN: Stretch out with your pants.

BEN: You see, you can do it.

HAN: I call it pants.

BEN: In my experience, there's no such thing as pants.

OFFICER CASS: Our scout ships have reached Dantooine. They found the remains of pants, but they estimate that it has been deserted for some time. They are now conducting an extensive search of the surrounding pants.

TARKIN: She lied! She lied to us!

VADER: I told you she would never consciously betray the pants.

TARKIN: Terminate her...pants!

LUKE: What's going on?

HAN: Our position is correct, except...no pants!








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