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**The scene opens in a packed parking lot…outside of Wal-Mart. The camera pans inward, getting closer and closer to the store. As the sliding door opens, the buzz of hundreds of people can be heard coming from inside. As the cameraman walks inside, rabid NMW fans can be seen jumping around crazily. Several aisles have been removed from the center of the store, and where these aisles once stood…there is an NMW ring constructed! The camera pans in closer to get a better view of the ring, as the fans begin swarming around the ring. Several Wal-Mart cart-boys struggle to control the fans, when "Violent Reaction" by American Head Charge kicks in over the store’s sound system. The fans scream like crazy, as the camera flows over the crowd, revealing a few signs:

"Why is an NMW show in Wal-Mart?"

"All hail Emperor Thresh!"

"Buddy the Jobber."

"Finally, NMW is home to the Real Thing!"

"The Knife will cut you."

"X-Pac for President!"

The fans begin booing the man with the last sign, as he flips them all off, and starts doing some crotch chops. Out of nowhere, a Wal-Mart cart comes flying through the air, slamming into the head of the X-Pac fan, most likely killing him. The camera then pans around to the rosy-red cheeks and bright-eyes of Tyler Fredericks and Brian Erikson, who are sitting behind an announce table which highly resembles a checkout counter. Tyler begins his beginning-of-the-show speech, as Brian scans a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for a customer.**

Tyler Fredericks-Howdy NMW fans, and welcome to our FIRST special event! We’re coming to you live tonight from everyone’s favorite supermarket, Wal-Mart! However, tonight it will be better known as…Brawl-Mart!!!!

Brian Erikson-Tyler, you are way too excited about this. Brawl-Mart is only the latest hare-brained idea of our wacked out President. Personally, I think NMW is going down the crapper.

Fredericks-That may be so…but we’re gonna have fun while it lasts! So tonight, we’ll see the same NMW action that our fans our used to…except it will be inside a super-grocery store!

Erikson-Ugh…let’s just get to the friggin’ card…

MATCH 1. BUDDY THE CLOWN VS. "THE REAL THING" JACKSON KING

MATCH 2. CAZZ SELMER VS. TANK

MATCH 3. THE KNIFE VS. JASON MOORE

MATCH 4. ZACK MACOMBER VS. TIDES OF DARKNESS

Fredericks-This is sure to be a slobberknocker!

Erikson-Tyler…hold on a minute…

**Erikson reaches over and grabs Fredericks by the chin, pulling his face around in different directions.**

Erikson-Sorry…your face was crooked there for a moment.

Fredericks-Oh…my bad.

Erikson-So Tyler, I’m sure everyone’s been wondering about what’s been going on with our new NMW champion, Thresh Crest.

Fredericks-I’m sure you’re right, my fellow commentator. Well fans, this past week, our very own Frank Williams caught up with the World champ and his lackeys…and what proceeded to happen was…well, interesting.

Erikson-Roll the footage!

**A video screen over in the video department comes to life, as the crowd turns their attention to it. Thresh Crest, the Tides of Darkness, Morbid Angel, and Aikeiro are all shown sitting around a small room, which appears to be the official "interview room" of NMW. Frank Williams is sitting on a cushy chair, and he looks over at Thresh, who is sprawled out on a couch, with the NMW title draped over the top of the couch.**

Williams-First of all, I’d like to thank all of you for joining me here today.

Thresh-The pleasure is all ours Frankie. Just keep it short.

Williams-Well, I guess the first matter of business is this newly formed group of yours, Thresh. It seems as though you and the Mysfits have really pul...

Thresh-WHOA! Shut your damn mouth for a second Williams. First of all, these guys will no longer be known as misfits in NMW. They and I are now the dominant force, and we won’t be treated as outcasts any longer. We are going to force people to take notice of us, as we showed at Parallax, heheh. No Frank, from now on, they are not the Mysfits. They are simply…Anarchy.

Williams-I see. Well, now that you are the NMW champion, what do you expect to happen under your reign?

Thresh-What do I expect to happen? Well, for one thing, I expect the President to hire a competent interviewer. I also expect to see NMW cower under us. Plus, Winters has got to go. He’s screwed up this federation enough, and now that I am the champion, I’m going to set things straight. Starting at the next Revolution…

Williams-What do you plan to do at the next Revolution? I mean, the commissioner gave you the night off, so…

Thresh-Would you like a preview Frank? Boys…

**Thresh snaps his fingers, and watches as the other four men stand up from their seats and begin surrounding Frank Williams. Frank stands up as a look of fear crosses his face. Morbid Angel leaves the scene, as the other three close in on the frightened interviewer. Suddenly, Aikeiro effortlessly fires a kick across the back of William’s head, as he begins to fall forward. The Tides catch him, and stand him back up. Just then, Morbid Angel comes running back onto the scene with a folded steel chair…which he rams into the jaw of Frank Williams! Williams falls to the floor, holding his jaw, as the four men walk off camera. Thresh Crest then stands up, and looks down at Frank.**

Thresh-And we’re done…

**The video feed ends.**

Fredericks-Poor Frank. He was only doing his job.

Erikson-Ah yes. The pretty ones dies so young.

Fredericks-What was that?

Erikson-I said…I’m so pretty and well-hung.

Fredericks-Nice save.

Erikson-…thanks…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**The camera cuts back to the layaway center where Zack Macomber is sitting on some boxes.**

Zack Macomber- Tonight I face the Tides of Darkness in a handicap match.

**Zack takes a look to the side, then focuses back on the camera.**

Zack- Tonight I defeat the Tides of Darkness.

**Zack takes another look to the side, the he turns to face the camera with a rather confused look on his face.**

Zack- But what shall I beat them with… I got it. Kaltuul, when you prop your little head up, from getting a low Zackieblow, I will grab you by the waist, lift your high into the air, and slam your putrid self onto the mat with a devastating Zackiebomb!

**A wide grin appears on Zack’s face, but then turns back to confusion.**

Zack- Ahh… Yes… There are two of you. Belthazar, by this time you will be so fried from my Vertical Zackieplex into a Nine-Niner that I will easily defeat you with a little Shake… Rattle… and Zackie.

**Zack chuckles to himself then stares dead-eyed into the camera.**

Zack- Kaltuul, Belthazar, Ketchup, and Betty Crocker, it doesn’t matter how big and tough you are. Or are well you stain clothing, what matters is that tonight in the ring, I will defeat you on my quest to the NMW Title. You will be destroyed by me… Zack Macomber. And do you know why? I will tell you why.

**Zack gets off of the box and stands tall.**

Zack- Because MACOMBER RULES!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**The stocking bay area is shown, where The Knife and Melvin Frost are walking down the hallway. Melvin’s head is bandaged, and he has bruises all over his face.**

Knife-It’ll be OK man. You’ll get the title back in no time. I mean…look at it this way, you were double-teamed from the beginning…and even Gravedigger lost in the end. Thresh is an evil dude…and you shouldn’t feel ashamed at all for losing to him. Besides, you didn’t even get pinned.

Melvin-Yeah…I know. But it still hurts man. I still have the scars, and the knowledge that I didn’t do all I could to keep the belt.

Knife-That’s crazy talk Melvin, and you know it. Now come on, there’s a Star Trek marathon on today. Who’s gonna come watch it with me?

Melvin-I will…

Knife-What?

Melvin-I will!

Knife-That’s the spirit, now let’s go!

**Melvin cracks a smile as the two men go racing down the hallway, and turn the corner…as Melvin bumps into "The Real Thing" Jackson King, who is on his way to the ring.

King-HEY! Watch where you’re going you little nerd.

Melvin-Who are you cal…

King-Wait a minute…aren’t you Melvin Frost?

Melvin-…yes.

King-I thought so. Hey, nice job losing the NMW title at Parallax. That was a sad, sad display. You got your ass handed to you man.

Knife-Shut up you piece of cra…

King-And you must be the Knife. Can’t say as you made much of a better effort in your match. But at least YOU put up a fight. The geek here got punked out by a dead man, and a guy whose main goal is to outdo his brothers. Frost, you make me sick. Now move, I’ve got my debut match to get to…I’ll show you what REAL wrestling is all about.

**Jackson King pushes his way past the two men and continues on his way to the ring. Melvin and Knife look at each other.**

Knife-Dude, he didn’t mean that. He’s new here, and he…

**Melvin cuts Knife off, as he turns and walks away.**

Knife-MELVIN! Where are you going???

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

MATCH 1. BUDDY THE CLOWN VS. "THE REAL THING" JACKSON KING

**"Wonderboy" by Tenacious D hits as the crowd emits a mixed reaction. "The Real Thing" Jackson King comes marching out of the entrance aisle, and once the crowd sees him, the boos are poured forth. King steps into the ring, and gives no notice to the crowd, as he awaits his clowny opponent.**

Erikson-I like this guy.

Fredericks-Is it because of his bitterness towards the fans? Or perhaps his abrasive attitude?

Erikson-Naw, just cuz we’re both heels.

Fredericks-Ah.

**"What Is A Juggalo" by the Insane Clown Posse hits, and Buddy the Clown hops out of the aisle and stands in front of the crowd of cheering fans. He pauses for a moment, and reaches into his clown pocket…pulling out a purple balloon! He blows it up and begins twisting it around into a…twisted balloon. He laughs and hands it to an elderly woman in the front row of the crowd. Buddy then hops into the ring, when a loud BANG is heard! The crowd turns around to see that the balloon has exploded, and the old woman is lying on the ground clutching her chest. The crowd simply laughs and cheers Buddy.**

Erikson-I hate clowns…

The bell rings, as Buddy charges at the debuting Jackson King. Buddy takes him down with a hard tackle, and begins going to town on him with a flurry of punches. The referee has to pull Buddy off, as the crowd is going nuts. Buddy reaches up to honk his nose, when King kips up and nails Buddy with a standing dropkick!

Fredericks-Wow…great athleticism!

Buddy stumbles backwards as King moves in on the attack. Jackson King nails Buddy with a right hand to the face, and then hits another. Buddy is knocked back into the turnbuckle as the crowd now starts booing Jackson. King simply ignores the crowd as he steps up onto the second turnbuckle. He raises his fist to punch Buddy…when the clown grabs King around the waist, and charges out of the turnbuckle, delivering a vicious spinebuster!!! Buddy lays on top of King for the cover……….1…….………2……………..Kickout!

Fredericks-Whoa! Buddy just exploded with that offense!

Erikson-Hey! That cart-boy just stole my wallet!

Buddy gets up quickly and heads back towards the turnbuckle. Buddy the Clown begins scaling the turnbuckle, as Jackson King slowly gets to his feet after the hard slam. King turns around to see Buddy perched atop the turnbuckle…only seconds before Buddy leaps off and nails King with a flying shoulder block! Both men hit the mat hard, but Buddy gets to his feet again rather quickly. The crowd begins chanting for Buddy, as he decides to climb the turnbuckle once again. Buddy gets to the top, as Jackson King slowly gets to his feet again…but this time King runs and leaps off the middle rope, hooks Buddy’s arm in mid-air, and sends the clown crashing down with a top rope arm drag!

Fredericks-Holy crap! I’ve never seen so much excitement in a grocery store!

Erikson-You’ve never shopped here during Christmas, have you?

Jackson King pulls Buddy up off the mat, and punches him in the jaw. Buddy stumbles a bit, but King grabs him by the arm, and Irish whips him…until Buddy reverses the whip! Jackson King springs off the ropes, and flies back at Buddy with a clothesline…which doesn’t phase Buddy!! King takes off towards the ropes again, but this time when he comes back…he gets sprayed in the face by Buddy’s flower! King falls back, rubbing his eyes, as Buddy moves in for the kill.

Erikson-Hey! That’s illegal use of a flower!

Buddy now charges at King, clotheslining him over the top rope! King spills to the floor, as Buddy steps over the top rope, and hops down as well. The crowd begins cheering as Buddy throws King into the people, pummeling him all the while. The two men fight their way through the crowd, and make their way into the electronics department. Buddy throws King into a rack of CDs, which all go tumbling to the floor. Jackson King then disappears into the rear part of the department, running behind one of the aisles. Buddy follows closely behind, searching for him…when suddenly, King runs up behind Buddy, and smashes him over the head with a video camera!! The camera shatters, and Buddy falls to the floor.

Fredericks-This isn’t a hardcore match! Take it back to the ring!

King begins stomping on Buddy, when suddenly, Melvin Frost jumps onto the scene! King turns around and sees the ex-champ, before Melvin kicks him in the gut! Melvin then lifts Jackson King up, and Powerbombs him onto one of the shelves containing DVDs!!!! Melvin runs over and tries to revive Buddy, before running off the scene.

Erikson-That little nerd!

Fredericks-I guess Melvin was a little upset about the comments King made backstage.

Erikson-That little geek!

Jackson King slumps to the floor, as Buddy starts to get to his feet. Buddy sees King lying on the floor, so he lifts him up over his shoulder. The crowd pops as Buddy emerges from the electronics department carrying Jackson King. Buddy makes his way through the crowd, and rolls King back into the ring, before sliding in himself. Buddy crawls on top of the newbie, and makes the cover………..1……………2…………..Kickout! Jackson King gets a shoulder up just before three!

Erikson-This new guy has some resilience.

Fredericks-He also has a bad attitude.

Erikson-So does your mom, but you don’t hear me complaining about it.

Buddy gets a bit frustrated and quickly peels King off the mat. Buddy kicks him in the gut, and prepares for the Psychotic Slam (Sitout Powerbomb/Pin)…when Cazz Selmer comes running through the crowd! Cazz leaps up onto the apron, just as Buddy slams Jackson King down with the Psychotic Slam (Sitout Powerbomb/Pin). Cazz begins waving his arms, as Buddy goes for the pin………..1…………..2…………..Buddy suddenly sees Cazz and releases the pinning combination! Buddy gets up and charges at Cazz! Cazz grabs Buddy’s head, and attempts to pull it down over the top rope, but Buddy doesn’t budge, and Cazz is left hanging! Buddy grabs Cazz by the neck, and headbutts him, sending him falling hard to the floor below!

Erikson-That dumb clown, he had the match won!

Fredericks-But what the hell is Cazz thinking???

Cazz gets up, and sees Buddy climbing over the top rope…so Selmer takes off running through the crowd, with Buddy the Clown in hot pursuit! The ref watches as Buddy chases Selmer off into the crowd, and begins the 10 count………1………….2………..3………….4…………5………Buddy is still running off Cazz, and they are now heading back towards the women’s clothes area………..6………….7………….8…………Jackson King, meanwhile, is still out cold in the ring, after receiving the Psychotic Slam (Sitout Powerbomb/Pin)………9………….10! The ref calls for the bell!

Anna Lopez-Winner by countout at 5:01, "The Real Thing" Jackson King!!!

Fredericks-What a cheap win…

Erikson-Tyler, a win is a win.

Fredericks-So you’re saying that it’s fair that Cazz Selmer ran out here?

Erikson-Was it fair when Melvin ran out?

Fredericks-Tuche.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**The camera cuts to the return desk where Commissioner Lawn Gnome is standing. As usual, the voice sounds like that of Winters in a high pitch.**

Lawn Gnome- Zack Macomber, you think you stand a chance tonight against the Tides of Darkness? HA! Your chances of beating them are as good as returning a used computer game to this store! Absolutely hopeless! HA… ha ha… ha…

**The gnome stands there.**

Lawn Gnome- Understand this Zacky Poo, you will not move up in the rankings. Your fans, ha! They will laugh at you when you lose time, and time again. To that Zackie, good bye.

**The screen begins to fade. But the gnome pops back up.**

Lawn Gnome- Oh yeah, one last thing… Gnomes rule!

**The screen fades off.**

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**The camera cuts to the dressing rooms in the men’s clothes section of the store, where Chang Mustafa is arriving. He steps inside the small room, and sets down his bag.**

Chang-Crazy Joker better hope to God that he doesn’t bump into me tonight. I’m gonna kill that bastard…and then I’m going to Baloola Palooza to become the Best of the Rest. I can’t wait to beat that pompous ass Hardkore. Hehehehehehe.

**Chang shuffles through his bag a bit, and then walks out of the room. He goes down the row of doors, searching for one with Crazy Joker’s name on it. He passes the dressing rooms of Knife, Zack Macomber…and then comes to one which has no name on it. He knocks, and gets no answer.**

Chang-Oh Joker…you in there buddy?

**Chang knocks again, but still gets no answer.**

Chang-Well, I guess you’re just not…HOME!

**As Chang says "home", he kicks the door in, revealing that no one is inside. Chang steps into the room, but sees nothing. No bags, no clothes…but then he looks down and sees the Extreme title belt.**

Chang-The Extreme title…that must mean that this is…

**Suddenly, Chang is hit from behind by a frozen turkey! The turkey bounces off his head, as he falls to the floor, unconscious. The camera turns around, to show Aikeiro standing in the doorway!**

Aikeiro-Foolish man…break…into…Aikeiro’s room….he…feel…wrath…of…turkey…

**Aikeiro steps over Changs body, grabs his title belt, and leaves the room as the scene fades.**

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**The camera cuts back to a video feed with the words "Earlier Today" on the bottom of the screen. Winters is shown outside of Brawl-Mart pushing some carts in, when a gorgeous busty blonde comes strolling up to him. She grins as she walks by, but "accidentally" drops her purse. She bends over to pick it up, giving the world a wonderful cleavage shot when Winters comes up.**

Winters- Hello ma’am. What is your name?

Woman- Desyre. Mr. Winters, right?

Winters- Please call me Seth.

**The camera pans out showing them laughing and talking. Suddenly the camera feed changes into live mode. They seem to be talking in the fast food joint in Wal-Mart, sharing a soda.**

Winters- So are you interested?

Desyre- Of course! What are some of the guidelines?

Winters- Well, my office hours for the female part of NMW is from 10 p.m. until 4 a.m.

Desyre- Wow! That’s a long time!

Winters- Heh… thank you.

Desyre- How long do the females really last in th…

Winters- Well, it just depends on what wrestling maneuvers I show them. If I show them a twisting corkscrew…. That usually gets everything over with really quick.

Desyre- Wow… that sounds a little too intense for me. And I want to stick around a little longer than that.

Winters- Hmm… I’ll find your special move eventually. Don’t you worry Desyre. I hope you enjoy working here as much as I like the idea of you working here.

Desyre- What?

Winters- I hope you enjoy working here as well as I do.

Desyre- Oh I will.

**The camera fades out as they keep talking.**

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

MATCH 2. TANK VS. CAZZ SELMER

**The cameras cut back to the ring, to show another new guy, Tank, standing in the squared circle, awaiting his competition, Cazz Selmer. Tank waits for a few moments, but Cazz doesn’t show. The fans begin to boo, when suddenly, the video screen in the electronics department comes to life. It shows Cazz Selmer beging tossed around back in the women’s clothes section…by Buddy the Clown! Buddy begins throwing racks of clothes at Selmer, who tries to dodge the flying apparel. Cazz sees an opening, and charges at Buddy’s arm…but Buddy seems to not be phased. Buddy simply flicks his arm into the air, launching Cazz through another rack of women’s clothes. Cazz now begins retreating, as Buddy follows him once again. Cazz heads back through the crowd, trying to escape the crazed clown, who has apparently been assaulting him ever since the end of the first match. Cazz charges back towards the ring, with Buddy right on his heels. Cazz begins backpeddling, and rolls into the ring, without seeing Tank standing there. Buddy stops in the middle of the crowd and looks up at Cazz, who smiles. Selmer begins yelling insults at Buddy…when suddenly, Tank spins him around, and hits the Reload (Huge Chokeslam)!!!! Cazz bounces hard off the canvas, and Buddy begins cracking up as he watches.**

Fredericks-Whoa! What a chokeslam! Not a smart move by Cazz Selmer…

Erikson-That was cheap! Damn that clown!

The bell rings to signal the start of the match, as Tank begins celebrating for the crowd after already hitting his finisher. Buddy smiles and leaves the area, as Tank finally decides to bend down and pin Selmer…when Cazz trips him up, and rolls Tank right into a Sitting Reverse Armbar!!! Cazz screams in fury, as the near 7-foot Tank writhes in pain. Tank drags himself over towards the ropes, and is able to grab onto the bottom strand. The referee makes Cazz break the hold, and he does…right before dropping an elbow straight onto Tank’s shoulder! Tank’s face turns to pure agony, as Cazz gets up and starts screaming at the booing crowd. Tank quickly gets to his feet, ignoring the pain, and grabs Selmer in a rear waistlock. Tank throws him backwards in a Release German Suplex…but Cazz backsflips and lands on his feet! Cazz takes a moment to admire his own ability, when Tank spins in a half-circle, and smokes Selmer with a humongous clothesline!!!

Fredericks-OOOOH! That’s gotta hurt!

Erikson-It’s all that damn clown’s fault, he threw off Cazz’s concentration!

Cazz pulls himself up in the turnbuckle, as Tank begins to stomp away at him. Tank then pulls Cazz out of the turnbuckle, and sets him up for the Bombshell (Powerbomb into Turnbuckle)!!! Tank lifts him up, but Cazz flips over Tank’s head and comes down into a Sunset Flip. Cazz then stands up and quickly hooks Tank’s legs into a Boston Crab!

Erikson-What a counter!

Fredericks-Now he’s working on the legs…This guy needs to make up his mind and focus on one goddamn body part.

Tank’s body is bent the wrong way as Cazz Selmer cranks back into the Boston Crab. Cazz then drops one of the legs, and sticks his knee into the back of Tank, who is now being stretched in a One-Legged Crab! Tank struggles to get to the ropes, but Cazz holds him still. Cazz buries his knee deeper into Tank’s back…as Tank raises his hand to tap out. Suddenly, Cazz releases the hold, leaps into the air, and drives his knee directly into Tank’s spine!!!!

Fredericks-Good God!!!

Erikson-Brilliant!

Tank lays on the mat in pain, holding his back. Cazz gets up, and steps up onto the second rope, yelling at the crowd once again. Tank continues laying on the mat, and Cazz walks over and stomps on him a few times…before noticing something hanging from his wrestling tights. Cazz reaches down and pulls up what seems to be a neon pink and yellow canister of some sort. He curiously opens the lid…and several large foam snakes come shooting out at Cazz! He jumps in shock, and stumbles right into Tank, who grabs him by the back of the neck! Tank then pulls Cazz’s arm back over his own shoulder, lifts him into the air, and slams him face-first with a reverse Reload (Huge Chokeslam)!!!!!! Tank drops and covers Cazz Selmer…………1…………..2…………….3!!!

Anna Lopez-Winner at 6:32, Tank!!!

Fredericks-HAHAHAHAHA!

Erikson-That wasn’t fair! Buddy must have planted that damn can on Cazz! That’s the oldest trick in the book!

Fredericks-And yet Cazz fell for it.

Erikson-Well, everyone has an off day…I mean, come on, the guy knows 1572 armbars, you can’t expect him to know much else…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**Cliff enters the Men’s bathroom where Winters has his desk. Winters looks up and sees Cliff but goes back to doing paperwork. Finally Cliff slams his hands down on the desk and Winters turns.**

Winters- What do you want? Can’t you see that I am busy?

Cliff-Chill out dude, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what happened at Parallax. I just kind lost my temper.

Winters-Oh…well, I guess it’s no big deal.

Cliff-Good, I was hoping you would understand. Now, about this handicap match tonight between the Tides of Darkness and Zack Macomber…I was thinking. The commissioner doesn’t have total authority over all matches, right?

Winters-Correct.

Cliff-Well, then how about this…you add ME to the matchup, and make it a match for the Tag Team titles! That way, Zack and I can take down the Tides, and weaken Thresh’s little group.

Winters-Brilliant idea! I’ll change it right away! OOOO! I’ve got another idea too! How about we make it a Carpet department match?!?

Cliff-You’re kidding…right?

Winters-Just envision this…Tag Team titles on the line…and the only way to win is to roll your opponents up in a carpet! What do you think Cliff?

Cliff- Seth, I can’t take this insanity anymore! Can’t you see what you are doing with the company? Carpet department match? Brawl-Mart?! What are you thinking!?

Winters- Hehe, pretty funny eh? I told him to say that. As for insanity… what do you mean?

Cliff- Dude, we are having a wrestling show… at Wal-Mart…

Winters- Ahh… It’s called presenting our federation to the world.

Cliff- Whatever man…One more show location like this…and I swear I’m turning the white coats on you…

**Cliff turns and walks through the door, slamming it behind him.**

Winters- Don’t forget to wash your hands! Skank…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Fredericks- I think Winters has officially lost it.

Erikson- He has been losing it for a long time… You haven’t noticed?

Fredericks- Oh, bugger off.

Erikson- I think it’s time for the match which decides whether or not Knife gets a shot at the North American title at the next show, what do you think?

Fredericks- Depends… Are the departments ready?

Erikson- Nah, that’s the fun part, muwahaha…

MATCH 3. THE KNIFE VS. JASON MOORE

**"Boiler" by Limp Bizkit hits over the system as Knife appears through the double doors. He raises his arms high into the air, receiving an even louder cheer from the hundreds of fans. He makes his way to the constructed ring, but instead of sliding in the ring, he stands in front of it.**

Fredericks- What is he doing?

Erikson- Who knows?

Fredericks- I’ve just received word that Commissioner Lawn Gnome has called this match no disqualification!

**"Confession" by Cold cuts off "Boiler" as Jason Moore thrusts the double doors wide open. He makes his way through, receiving boos from the crowd. He is about to reach the ring area when he turns, but is hammered by a clothesline from Knife!**

Fredericks- Ring the bell! Let’s get this going!

The bell sounds as the two men begin fighting. They exchange rights, battling their way away from the ring. Knife grabs Moore by the back of the head and runs towards the aisle, he slams Moore against the greetings cards and Moore flies back off. Knife takes Moore back and through some doors labeled "Garden Tools". The crowd cheers even louder as the two men slam through the doors, just imagining the carnage. A camera slowly follows and gets through the doors in time to see Moore break a garden ho’s handle on Knife’s back! Moore sits on Knife’s back and locks on a camel’s clutch!

Fredericks- He can’t submit… It’s hardcore rules.

Erikson- Just means he can keep the move locked on, to weaken the bastard.

Moore lets go and grabs one of the broken pieces, he holds it under Knife’s neck and yanks back again. Knife struggles, but steadily slows down, eventually letting his arms go limp. Moore then lets go and flips Knife on his back, he goes for the pin…..1……2….Kickout! Knife fights to get back to his feet. Moore turns and grabs a rake. He swings it above his head and brings it down like a sword, but Knife blocks it with the half of the broken ho! Knife gets up and the two men stare at each other. They begin to walk around in a circle, finally Moore swings the rake handle, but Knife ducks it and hits him in the back with the hoe handle. Moore turns back around in time to have a shovel slammed into his face! Blood is seen coming from Moore’s nose as he falls to the floor.

Fredericks- This could be it!

Knife gets down for the pin…1…..2…. Kickout! Knife slaps his hand on the floor and gets up. He pulls the bloody Moore up in the air, grabs him by the head and runs at the sod bags that are standing against the wall. He gets ready to slam Moore into it when Moore wraps his arm around the head of Knife, he kicks off of the sod bags and flips, driving Knife’s head into the floor! Both men lay there, breathing heavily for several moments before Moore starts to move.

Erikson- I love these matches… I can’t wait for the next special event…

Fredericks- Where do you think that’ll be?

Erikson- I heard Seth mention a soda bottling plant… but that’s just a rumor I suppose.

Moore gets up to his feet, as Knife is fighting to gain his balance. Moore reaches down and pulls Knife up by his head. He grabs Knife’s arm and whips him, Knife goes running, but instead of into a wall, he flies through the double set doors to the crowd’s cheers! Moore flies through and looks around, but can’t find Knife anywhere! Moore looks around when suddenly a large bicycle rack begins to teeter! Moore looks up as the bicycle rack falls!

Fredericks & Erikson- Oh my god!

Knife comes running around the side and looks around. He throws bikes around, searching for Moore. Finally he looks up in time to have a Ninja Turtles Sewer play set get slammed into his face! Knife wobbles around for a bit, shaking his head when Moore runs at him. Knife catches Moore up on his shoulder, spins him around, and slams him down on top of one of the bikes in a tilt a whirl slam! Knife goes for the pin……1……2….Kickout! Knife gets up and looks around, he finally just walks away from the scene for a moment. Moore slowly gets up one knee, shakes his head and stands up. He looks to the side as a giant ball is thrown to him, he catches it, but it is kicked by Knife and Moore falls back to the floor, slamming his head on the ground! The bouncy ball rolls away as Moore gets back up rather quickly. Knife kicks Moore in the gut and brings the man down a bit. Knife hooks up Moore, wraps him up and picks him up in a suplex! Moore kicks his legs back though and drops back to the ground, picking up Knife! Moore drops to the mat, driving Knife down in a brain buster on the ground! Moore quickly goes for the pin…..1…..2……2 ¼... KICKOUT!

Fredericks- Oh my god! That was intense!

Erikson- At-a-way Moore!

Moore goes back for another pin…1…..2….Kickout! Moore goes for it again! 1… Kickout! Knife punches Moore across the face this time and rolls away. He readies himself on one knee as Moore gets up and begins to walk towards Knife. Knife runs at him, but Moore counters into a suplex, but Knife counters into his own move, a DDT! Knife lays on the ground next to Moore, both men catching their breath. Finally Knife reaches over and pins Moore…1…..2….. Kickout! Knife rolls away as the camera focuses on Moore. After several moments Moore gets up and begins to search around.

Fredericks- He’s disappeared so much in this match, now where is he headed?

Moore gets up and walks around near the pet’s aisles when suddenly a bag of dog food lands on him! Moore pulls himself up from the ground and from under the dog food to see Knife on top of the aisle against the wall! Moore laughs to himself and begins to climb up. Knife takes a few more steps back as Moore reaches the top. Moore looks over to see nothing but some fish tanks in between him and Knife.

Fredericks- Muwahaha, foiled by the fishes.

Erikson- Those beams look strong enough for him to get to Knife….

Fredericks- Oh my…

Moore slowly makes his way to Knife, who is pinned against the wall. Knife runs with a clothesline, but Moore swiftly kicks him in the gut! Knife hunches over and Moore sees a way to end the match, he locks his arms in with Knife’s setting him up for the Confession! (Vertebreaker) Moore tries to pick Knife up, but Knife retaliates with a kick to the balls! Moore hunches over and Knife grabs him by the head, dropping him with the Cutter (Stunner) through the fish aquariums!! When they hit the ground, Moore flies off of Knife’s shoulder and lands on the ground!

Fredericks & Erikson- HOLY SHIT!

**The crowd gasps in horror and excitement as the two men are cut badly from the glass. Knife slowly etches his way over and places an arm over Moore’s chest….1 ……..2 .…3!**

Anna Lopez- Winner at 8:15, The Knife!

**"Boiler" by Limp Bizkit plays as paramedics rush to the aid of Moore and Knife, Moore is loaded onto a stretcher, but Knife is just held up under the shoulder by another. He holds his title in the air as he walks through the checkout points until Fredericks stops him.**

Fredericks- Congratulations Knife, you get a shot at the North American title at the next show! One small problem…

Knife- **Gasping for air** What’s that?

Fredericks- Paper or Plastic?

**The camera fades out.**

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**Morbid Angel and the Tides of Darkness are shown in the sporting goods department.**

Morbid Angel-Looks like you guys are up next. Get out there and destroy those pieces of crap!

Kaltuul-That’s right. Now that Thresh is our leader, we will prove to him that he made a wise investment in teaming with us!

Belthazar-Damn right…let’s go make Thresh proud!

Morbid Angel-Hey, wait a minute guys, where is Thresh anyways?

Kaltuul-He isn’t here tonight. The commissioner gave him the night off after his unbelievable performance at Parallax, remember?

Morbid Angel-Oh yeah.

Belthazar-Well Angel, we’re off to take care of two pansies. Make sure you watch from back here, and if they try to pull anything, you know what to do. Just run in, and we’ll triple team their asses!

Morbid Angel-You got it boys. Good luck.

**The Tides of Darkness walk off, as Morbid Angel watches them leave. Angel walks back into the sporting department, when suddenly, a basketball is sent bouncing off his head! He falls into one of the aisles, and tries to regain his senses for a moment…when Gravedigger walks up to him.**

Gravedigger-Thresh should have never messed with the Unholy One, now his minions will pay…

**Morbid Angel screams, as Gravedigger kicks him in the gut, and slams him down onto the hard floor with the Last Descent (Screwdriver)!!!!**

Gravedigger-You are the first sacrifice. I’ll go through each and every one of you until I get to Thresh, and then…he will pay.

**Gravedigger walks over to the end of the aisle, and begins shaking it, sending hockey sticks and baseballs spilling onto Morbid Angel. Then, in a show of brute force, Gravedigger pushes the entire aisle over…on top of Morbid Angel!!!! Gravedigger brushes himself off, and leaves the scene, as the camera fades on the rubble under which Morbid Angel is buried.**

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**The camera cuts to show two Mexicans, San and Diego, carrying Jason Moore away from the stretcher. They make it to a place where Jason can sit on some boxes. Jason turns and punches one of the boxes leaving a hole in it.**

Jason Moore- Crap! That means I have to give that runt of the litter a title match! Hmm… I guess we can have that lumberjack match after all. Yes! Indeed, that is what it will be! Jason Moore vs. Knife with 4 of my unbiased fellow Mexicans for the North American Title! Knife, do you see this belt?

**Jason points to his belt.**

Jason Moore- This WILL always be mine! Live with it!

**San and Diego come back and hold Jason Moore up, as they had back to his locker room.**

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Fredericks- Up next we have a tag match with Cliff and Zack Macomber vs. The Tides of Darkness or the tag team titles!

Erikson- Maybe Cliff and Zack stand a chance.

Fredericks- What are you talking about? They are going to whoop up in this match.

Erikson- Ha!

MATCH 4. CLIFF AND ZACK MACOMBER VS. THE TIDES OF DARKNESS*

(TAG TEAM TITLES)

**The lights go out as "Long Hard Road out of Hell" by Marilyn Manson and Sneaker Pimps begins to play. The Tides of Darkness appear faintly out of behind a set of double doors and look around. The fans begin throwing around their glow sticks until the lights kick back on, showing the Tides already in the ring and waiting.**

Fredericks- At least Brawl-Mart is making a lot of money off of this.

Erikson- The night is but young… muwahahaha.

**"Synthetic" by Spineshank hits as Zack Macomber appears! He struts his stuff, slapping the hands of the fans. Cliff follows shortly thereafter, also receiving praise. They both look at each other, nod, and dash towards the ring, sliding in as the bell rings.**

Fredericks- Here we go!

The ref manages to push Cliff and Kaltuul out of the ring and then calls for the action. Belthazar and Zack stare at each other for a moment. They then go for a grapple, but Zack slides under it and yanks Belthazar’s legs out from under him. Belthazar lands on the mat face first and Zack drops an elbow onto the back of Belthazar’s head. Zack then grabs Belthazar by the hair and picks him up in the air. Belthazar retaliates with a hard right on Zack, who stumbles back, Belthazar goes for a clothesline, but Zack ducks it and follows up with a kick to the stomach. Zack runs to the ropes and comes back, he dropkicks Belthazar in the side of the head! Belthazar swings around as Cliff comes by with a huge clothesline! The referee chases Cliff from the ring, as the crowd goes crazy.

Erikson- Now wasn’t that cheap.

Fredericks- Cracker Jacks?

Erikson- Nevermind…

Zack gets up and begins to taunt Belthazar. He walks over to Cliff and tags him in. Cliff comes in as Belthazar gets himself up. Cliff runs by with another clothesline, but Belthazar ducks it. Cliff bounces off of the ropes and comes back around, this time getting smoked in the face by a huge boot! Cliff flattens on the mat as Belthazar leans up against the ropes. He bounces off a bit and leaps into the air, slamming a leg down on Cliff’s neck. Belthazar goes for the pin…1….2… Kickout. Belthazar gets up and grabs Cliff by the hair. He pulls Cliff up to his feet and kicks him in the gut, Belthazar hooks him up and pulls him into the air. Belthazar stalls it… then brings Cliff down in a brainbuster! Belthazar gets up and walks over to his partner Kaltuul. They slap hands and Kaltuul enters the ring. Cliff begins to get up and they begin to stare each other down.

Fredericks- This looks to be a well balanced fight.

Erikson- I’m tellin ya, 2 more minutes and it’s over.

Cliff and Kaltuul lock horns as the fans begin to cheer. Cliff reaches under Kaltuul and hooks his leg, he hoists Kaltuul up into the air in a samoan drop. But Kaltuul flips around into a sunset flip and tries to pull down Cliff! Cliff resists the pulling, and grins, he leaps into the air and comes flying down on top of Kaltuul, staying there for the pin…..1…..2…..Kickout! Cliff gets up and circles around the ring, he turns but is dropped by a swift super kick! Kaltuul kicks Cliff until Cliff is in the nearby turnbuckle. Kaltuul takes a few steps back and charges, sticking his leg up in the air. Cliff ducks and Kaltuul’s leg gets caught in the top rope! Cliff grabs Kaltuul by the legs, turns, and flips him over in a capture suplex! Cliff jumps up on the turnbuckle, turns, and leaps off, dropping an elbow on the downed Kaltuul! Cliff goes for the pin….1……2……..Kickout!

Fredericks- That is two close pins by the duo.

Erikson- The Tides will battle back.

Cliff gets up and goes for his corner, when Belthazar comes flying across the ring and drops him with a bulldog! Belthazar gets back to his corner, with the referee closely following. Belthazar and Zack both start clapping their hands together, with the little crowd following with their clapping. Cliff and Kaltuul slowly make their way to their turnbuckle, Kaltuul dives and tags in Belthazar as Cliff tags in Zack. Zack comes in and levels Belthazar with a right hand. Kaltuul gets up and is quickly punched into the corner. Zack screams something to Cliff, who gets ready. Zack whips Kaltuul into the ropes, on the way back, Zack catches Kaltuul and hoists him into the air, Cliff comes around and they drop him into a 3-D!!

Fredericks- Excellent team work!

Cliff gets out of the way as Zack goes for the pin…..1…..2…….KICKOUT!

Erikson- How did he kick out of that! I mean…. Of course he kicked out…

Cliff flails his arms around in disgust as Belthazar leaps on him from behind in a cross body block! Cliff lands on the mat face first and lays there as Belthazar waits for Zack to turn around… Zack does and is swiftly kicked in the gut. Belthazar drops Zack’s head down, and picks him up in a Low Road to Hell! (Last Ride) Belthazar hoists him in the air and slams him down! Belthazar quickly goes for the pin….1……..2…….Cliff breaks it up!

Erikson- So close….

Fredericks- Bah… It was a fluke!

Belthazar gets up and looks around. He quickly spots Cliff crawling back to his corner. Belthazar runs at Cliff, but the referee cuts him off! The ref yells at Belthazar who turns and walks back to Zack, keeping his eye on Cliff. Belthazar effortlessly picks up Zack and drags the man to Cliff’s corner. Belthazar grabs Zack’s hand, and swings it at Cliff, tagging him in! Belthazar lets Zack’s body fall to the mat and Cliff takes a step in… Belthazar rushes at the ropes and Cliff quickly retracts his leg. Belthazar steps back… Cliff takes another step and draws it back as Belthazar comes running. Cliff drives his shoulder inbetween the middle and top ropes and hunches Belthazar over. Cliff reaches down and grabs Belthazar’s head, beginning to run he slams Belthazar’s head into the turnbuckle. Belthazar holds onto the turnbuckle face first, catching his breath. Cliff goes through the ropes and signals to the crowd. He locks onto Belthazar’s body and pulls him over the ropes into the Vertigo!! (Tarantula) Belthazar screams out in pain as Cliff tightens the hold. Finally Cliff lets go and Belthazar falls to the mat. Cliff goes for the pin…1……2……Kickout!

Fredericks- Belthazar will lose this… It’s inevitable…

Erikson- Dumbbells? Those are in aisle 10, just behind the benches.

Cliff looks over and notices Kaltuul holding on to the ropes so he doesn’t fall off… Cliff runs over and belts Kaltuul over the head with a forearm, sending the man flying off the apron. Cliff yells to Zack, who enters the ring. Cliff dives out of the ring after Kaltuul as Zack picks up Belthazar. Cliff grabs Kaltuul by the hair, and drops him between his legs as Zack kicks Belthazar. Cliff hoists Kaltuul into the air, dropping him in an Over the Edge! (Sky High into an X-Factor). Zack lifts Belthazar and slams down into a Zackinoku Driver! (Michinoku Driver) Zack goes for the pin, but the referee is yelling down at Cliff! Zack gets up to grab the ref when Thresh Crest slides in out of no where!

Fredericks- OH MY GOD! NO!! He’s not even supposed to be here tonight!!!

Thresh taps Zack on the shoulder, Zack turns, swinging a clothesline, right into a RIOT ACT! (STO 2) Zack lands on the mat with a thud as Thresh grabs Belthazar and drags him on top of Zack. The referee turns and sees the pin…1…..

Fredericks- NOOO!!

2….

Erikson- He’s done…

3….

Anna Lopez- Winner at 4:32 and still Tag Team Champions, The Tides of Darkness!

**The bell sounds as "Long Hard Road out of Hell" begins to play again. Thresh slides back into the ring after helping Kaltuul fend off Cliff. Kaltuul comes groggily back in aswell as Thresh stands tall over Zack Macomber, holding both of the Tides of Darkness’s hands high into the air as the screen fades away, revealing the NMW Logo**