November 13, 2005

 

Dear Mom and Dad,

 

            It has always been our intention for you to have a relationship with Allison and Thomas, as they are your grandchildren. Supposedly everything was forgiven (but not forgotten) when Allison was born. There has been nearly ten years of this and there is no reason for it. And yet I detect an overwhelming suspicion that you are too eager to end things. We did everything by your terms (as you requested) and the situation continues to deteriorate. I want you to know what is objectionable to us:

 

-We try to spend time with you but you don’t reciprocate the intentions, shame …

-Lack of effort; it takes more than cards to let the kids know who you are. If you want to call and only talk to the kids, then that is fine, just do it.

-Why do you not get excited over pictures? We sent you lots of pictures of the kids and none of them are displayed on the wall, let alone mentioned. We regretfully have not sent you any since Easter of 2005.

-We are not disposable! I am still your son, and this is my family, I am deeply proud of them and love them dearly, no matter what they may do. The first time we met your neighbors they did not even know you had a son (or grandchildren) so I suspect that others are left in the dark too … (Jennifer’s in-laws?). Ever since we were penciled in and not given preference to a Poker game, this was very distressing.

 

            However I am a stubborn asshole and continue to try with you, even to the point where I look like an idiot. I also thought your actions were low when you skipped out on coming to my graduation on May 13^th. I had to hear from Grandma that you guys left for the twin study. Again, we received no phone calls from you. And I have not been in college for 13 years either …

 

            And now you have decided that you will no longer see us? The only reason I can think of is my letter and video tape to Deb. I mailed a letter to her on April 12^th, the very same day you wrote to me asking me not to contact them. That is not fair to punish us for that when there was no warning. Besides, it was a harmless letter and that does not constitute harassment. And since you must be the only sets of parents in the world who would not argue on behalf of your son, I had to do it.

 

            If you were in my shoes you might realize that I cannot improve this situation on my own. My feelings must not matter to you. You have the power to fix this but you choose not to, this is unforgivable. You really do not want this to be resolved, shame !

 

            Yes, Catherine’s family is upset with you. Both of you want to be grandparents in name only. You are welcome to see the kids anytime, but we always come last, I will no longer tolerate that either. I overlooked this for the sake of the children but it bothers me too much to let it go. You didn’t even try to come up here when Thomas or Allison was born, why?

 

            I still want to give you another chance. Please, get the opportunity to enjoy your grandchildren. But for now, to see the kids means that you have to see all of us. And I respectfully request that you patch things up in Pennsylvania for me since I am not allowed to.

 

            Being family means that we spend time together, talk more often, and share pictures. Catherine has no interest in fighting with you: from now on I will discuss things with you in a peaceful manner. I don’t want you to be disappointed in me, it has taken me a long time to get where I should be in life, but I am comfortable and as happy as possible.   

 

            So, if my requests are objectionable to you, then discuss them with me, let’s not throw our lives away. I will pray for things and hope that we can all have a nice life together.

 

Your Son

 

Is this letter mean or demanding? Read ahead, because the reply indicates that I am asking far too much of them. This hurts us, but it is not fair to our children to continue.