December 8, 2005

 

Jason,

 

Here is our response to your letter:

 

            It is with regret that our relationship with Allison and Thomas is now over, done. They are adorable kids and it is not their fault, but life is too short to have to continue to endure the baggage that goes with them.

 

            You will always biologically be our son and your kids half Brantley, but that is it. Ten years ago you stopped being the Jason that we knew and loved. We endured so much, hoping you would come to your senses until you both crossed the line one too many times. Even my mother said to give up and sever all ties. She was so hurt and disgusted with you all. Especially your refusal to even attempt to pay us back as you agreed to do before you went to college.

 

            You may not be disposable, but long ago you did lots of things (and allowed Cat to) that infuriated us and our friends. They do know about you all and have for years (including members of the cash family). It is so upsetting that we usually do not talk about them to each other (we have fun)!

 

            The people in Pennsylvania do not want a relationship with any of you, ever. That video and letter were the last straw, as you know. All the things you’ve done over the years were behind us because Allison was born. However, that was because we had hoped that you would stop playing games and would be good. The letter and video was a big mistake. We tried telling you nicely that they all did not want to resume relations with you. We tried to break that to you gently- on several occasions- if you will recall. We said that if you did pester them, our relationship with you was over. You did it anyway. That tells us the importance of us to you. Backfired, didn’t it? And you are willing to give us another chance? That is big of you …

 

            We always have pictures of the grandkids out and they were out when you visited. Remember?

 

By the way, we really hope that Allison is toilet trained now. You are very wrong to allow her to be with you when you use the bathroom. You should really stop that routine.

 

We hate to give up on anyone or anything; however, you have to know when to walk away and this is it. Elaine’s doctor has told her “no more stress” and she has been put on more medication because of it. This is not worth dying over – nothing is- and it is best for us. If Catherine’s parents and friends all believe the things that you tell them then so be it. You both know what has gone on and the stunts you’ve pulled. Shame on you !!!

 

Long before news of your graduation we had to pre-book all hotels, from Memphis to California. We made a commitment the previous fall to do this portion of the study. We have participated in this study for years. We left Georgia as scheduled on Mother’s day. We told you we could not come. You both owe everyone sincere apologies- and not us to you. You have not been loyal to us. Even if our relationship were still on, we would not feel welcome in Illinois or at Joe’s. They have only heard your version of the truth.

 

Good luck with Catherine’s family.

 

 

Wow, so much has gone out of control here. It never occurred to me that I was such a mean and cruel jackass. How dare you make me think that I should be gracious for the bones you give me and the guilt trips that go with them! First, what have we done wrong? It is you all that don’t give a flipping shit about us and I have every right to write and find out why. Second, what the hell are you talking about with toilet training and the bathroom? I cannot even comment, too absurd. Third, you did not say you would not come to graduation; no one called and said anything, as usual. Perhaps you should stop being loyal to only yourselves and look at the bigger picture. Fourth, there are tons of pictures out, but only ones of cousins and friends, but nothing of us. Fifth, family is not baggage or a credit decision or a reason to adjust medication.  Oh, and the college loan issue, I paid you back the monthly payment of $70 plus $225 a month rent (for over a year) plus the inheritance money for the PLUS loan. I recall asking you to show me how much of this money was applied toward the loan, and all I received was another letter asking for $70 a month for 7 more years. I am not a deadbeat, just fed up.

Lastly, for ten years I have not changed, but only realized that I was rejected because you did not like Catherine. All of those times I asked you about Pennsylvania, it was not a request for information, it was a way for me to tell you that you needed to patch it up, since you caused it. Only at the end do we see how much time was wasted on this situation. One day you might realize that I am not such a mean person and my feelings are more shattered than you could even ever comprehend. After Jennifer’s wedding, we told you that you never made any efforts to call or visit, and you vowed to improve on this. We continued to call you and ask for an appointment to visit, as we have never made it an obstacle to see your grandchildren. And it is very interesting that this point was never addressed in the letter. Everyone that I ever come in contact with is on my side about this, and this is because my version of the truth is true. We never did anything to you since 2001, all I asked for was to hear from folks in Pennsylvania; instead, you cried 'harrassment' and I am yet to hear from everyone that they do not want to hear from us. This is why I refuse to believe it from you. I ask you again: what have we done wrong?

One more thing: we still visited with you and your friends even though they knew your version of the truth. Furthermore, I cannot apologize to anyone for two reasons: I do not know what I have done wrong, and no one will let me contact them anyway! You make an unrealistic expectation for me to follow, as usual. Since these points remain unaddressed, I know that I am right and that I am the bigger person here. A lot of other people agree with me too. Good luck to you all, hope no one else in the family suffers the way that we have. My last chance offer is withdrawn. Good bye.