Fading Hope
	Part: 1/?
	By: Elisabeth James

	Now before you all go ballistic on me and kill me off for starting yet another fic
without finishing the ones I started, let me explain.  I was on a trip this weekend, and I
was reading a book on the bus ride there and the idea for this fic just came to me.  I had
to tell it.  It’s of a more serious fair, if you’re looking for WAFF look elsewhere.  It will
be romantic, in spots but this is much more of a deep fic about something that I feel is
very important in this day and age.  So please read this and let me know what you think,
comments are very important on something like this.  This will be depressing in places,
and it’s a alternate reality.

	Why do bad things happen to good people?
	That was only one of Tsukino Usagi’s thoughts that flowed through her head at 3
am as she listened to her mother suffering in the next room over.  The soft moans of pain
cut through her soul like a knife.  She pulled her pillow over her head to try and block
them out.  She had enough trouble sleeping as it was, her mind was filled to the brim
with so many things to think about and remember.  They never shut up, never gave her
any peace, it was a constant high pitched humming noise.  Her brain had been working
over time lately, and now her mother’s cancer added to the confusion.
	She heard her father talking softly, saying words of encouragement to Ikuko. 
Usagi wondered how in the world he managed to keep himself together at times like
these.  To watch his wife be in such severe pain and not be able to help her in anyway.  It
had been like this for almost six months, and her mother was giving up.  It was obvious,
she had no strength to keep fighting.  Every day her smile would drop a little further, she
stopped trying to fake her feelings around Usagi and her little brother a long time ago. 
The pain she was in was evident on her face.
	She heard the sirens before she could see them.  The ambulance came blazing
down the street and pulled up in front of the house.  She watched from her window as
two men rushed toward the house, there was hushed whispers as they ran past her door
and gathered up her mother.  Kenji knocked softly on the door, “I’m going with your
mother to the hospital, you stay here and watch after your brother, he needs you.” he shut
the door again and moments later she heard the front door slam behind him.
	“But I need someone too.” she whispered as the ambulance pulled away from the
curb and toward the hospital.  The house fell into uncomfortable silence as the minutes
ticked by.  It was sometime around 5 am when Usagi lost it and broke down into tears.

*~*~*~*~*~*

	With lack of nothing better to do, Usagi had walked to the arcade.  The house
held too much pain, too many bad memories.  She was determined to just let go of her
life for awhile.  Enjoy a shake and share some laughs with her friends like old times. 
They seemed so far away at times, the times when her mother was a bright vibrant
person, who never let things get her down.  When she was diagnosed with lung cancer,
the whole situation changed.
	First everyone was upbeat, the chemo would help get it go into remission.  It
would be hard, but her mother was young.  Never mind the loss of her beautiful blue hair,
or the pale color her skin turned, or the amount of weight that disappeared from her
already thin body.  Things quickly went downhill, the chemo wasn’t working, all it was
doing was making her sicker than she already was.  The sudden coughing fits in the
middle of the night had everyone scared. 
	Shingo had become a walking zombie, pulling away from all contact.  Her father
tried to keep everything together, but with Ikuko’s condition worsening every day, he quit
trying.  Gone were happy moments, moments of laughter and fun.  All that remained
were those of despair and pain.
	No one really knew about Usagi’s mother’s cancer besides her closest friends, she
didn’t think anyone else needed to know about it.  Pity from a stranger was the worst
thing in the world to Usagi, something else she didn’t need.
	“Usagi-chan!  Long time no see!” Motoki exclaimed at the sight of her.  He
walked over to her and wrapped her up in a big hug.  “How’s your mother?”
	She simply shook her head, “Please not now Motoki, I can’t deal with talking
about her today.  I came here to try and relax, that house...” she didn’t want to tell him
that her mother was taken to the hospital last night.  The look on his face would say it all,
he would be nice and not say what he was really thinking of course.  People were
beginning to give up hope.  And as much as it pained her to think about it, Usagi was as
well.
	“All right, I won’t push the issue, how about a big double chocolate shake?” she
smiled warmly at her friend, “That would really hit the spot right now.  Thank you.” she
pulled herself up onto a stool at the counter.  He turned around and quickly started to
make Usagi’s favorite thing at the arcade.
	The bell chimed cheerfully as the door slid open.  A tall dark haired man stepped
into the arcade and Usagi cringed inwardly as she saw him.  He had been horrible to her
as long as she could remember.  She hadn’t seen Mamoru in forever it seemed like, it had
been a few months since she had last visited the arcade.
	“Motoki-kun.” he drawled then his eyes came to rest upon the blond girl seated at
the counter, “Usagi, long time no see.”
	She turned to him, determined to try and be nice for today, “Yeah, I’ve had a lot
of other stuff on my mind lately.  There hasn’t been much time for fun.” <That’s an
understatement> she thought bitterly.
	“Like what?” he asked her softly as he sat down next to her.  She closed her eyes,
“It’s something I would rather not talk about today.”  Motoki and Mamoru shared a quick
look, and Mamoru knew that he shouldn’t tread any further.  
	“Be nice.” Motoki mouthed to him as he set down the milkshake in front of
Usagi.  The look he said it with spoke for itself.  He nodded slightly and smiled to let him
know he got the message.
	“Okay Usagi, you just look like you want someone to talk to.” she glanced at him
midsip and spoke slowly, “What makes you say that.”
	“Your eyes.  They look so sad today, like something is wrong.  I’ve never seen
you look like this before.” he was being honest, and kind for once.  She liked this side of
him.
	“I didn’t think you would notice something like that Mamoru-san.  In fact your
the first person to bring something like that up.”  He looked at her surprised, one eyebrow
arched slightly, giving him a look of sophistication, “Really?  For someone as happy as
you usually are, I thought most people would that.”
	She chuckled softly, “Yes well when you remind people of some thing most
would rather not think about, they tend to distance themselves from you.  That might
have something to do with it.”
	He looked at Motoki, who simply shook his head, this was obviously a serious
situation with her.  “Are you hungry Usagi?  I would be willing to treat you to lunch if
you wanted something.”
	“What is up with you Mamoru-san?  You have never been this nice to me before,
why start now?” her voice dripped with accusations and self pity.  This was a side of
Usagi he had never seen before.  Something had happened, it must have been serious to
change someone like her so quickly.
	“I don’t know.  Would you rather I call you Odango Atama and make fun of you 
again?”
	“YES!! Yes.” she said quieting down remembering where she was, “I would
rather you do that, it would at least be normal.  Normal is what I need right now, my life
is SO abnormal lately.  I don’t need you changing on me too, I need someone to stay the
same, or I might go insane.” her hand flew up to her mouth, trying to choke back a sob
building in her throat.  She sniffled softly, and closed her eyes tight.
	Both men were speechless to say the least, Mamoru recovered first, “Usagi,
please talk to me, I promise to listen and not say a word.”
	“I’m so sick of people telling me to talk about things right now, they don’t know. 
They don’t know at all.  Talking does nothing for me, all it does is stir up emotions that
are best left dormant inside me.  No one knows how it feels.” she added with a whisper.
	“Then let me do this.” he wrapped her up in a strong hug.  She went stiff in his
arms for a few seconds before slowly hugging him back.  She stood in the middle of the
arcade weeping in his safe arms.
	“I’m so scared Mamoru, so scared.  She can’t die.” she mumbled softly into his
green jacket.  He held her tighter, never realizing how good it really felt to be this close
to her and not be fighting.  He closed his eyes and let himself relax.
	“Usagi, who’s dying?” he softly asked her, whispering in her ear.
	“My mother, she’s so sick, so so sick.  She can’t go, she can’t leave me and
everyone else behind.”
	His heart broke for her at that moment as the words exited her mouth, a pain he
knew all too well shot through him.  He had lived what she was going through, only thing
was his parents were taken from him so fast there was no time to mull over the thought of
them dying.  How horrible that this golden child should have to suffer.
	“Listen to me Usagi, anytime you need to talk, or anything else, come to me.  I
know how it feels to go through this, both of my parents are dead.  Maybe I can help you
somehow.”
	“Mamoru, you’re helping me right now.” she smiled slightly at the irony of the
whole situation she was in right now, her worst enemy was now offering his friendship at
the time she needed it the most.  Maybe Mamoru wasn’t the vile creature she thought he
was.

	To be continued...

	Okay what did everyone think?  Please write me, I really want to know what you
think of it so far, honestly.
	As always special thanks to: Clare-chan, Kelly, Adrianne, SB and Meredith
	I will be putting Troubled in Tokyo on hold for awhile, but Stay will still be out
regularly as will this. :)