Do you Sleep?
Part 1/1
By Elisabeth James

	This is just a short fic based on a great song by Lisa Loeb and I think it really
describes Mamo-chan during his break up with Usagi.  This song is a little different but if
you read the lyrics, the song is very pretty.  And I'm in the process of writing a new part
to Troubled in Tokyo as well.  And I have a new multi-part fic in the works, so stay
tuned…

Disclaimer: SM does not belong to me, nor does this song.  : Shrug: 

@~~~/~~~\~~~~	
Do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
Do sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
Do you sleep anymore?

Do you take plight on my tongue like lead?
Do you fall gracefully into bed anymore?
@~~~/~~~\~~~~

He swung in through the open window of her bedroom with such grace and ease.  His
black form was silence and undistinguishable against the darkness of her room.  She lay
sleeping so soundly and peacefully in her bed.  His heart felt pulled toward her, as their
link often caused it to feel.  She was so close, and he knelt down next to her bed slowly,
careful not to make a sound.  
Her gossamer hair flowed around her like water.  The rays of moonlight streamed
through the open window and struck her body.  The light danced on the face of the angel
that slept before him.  He used to tell her when they were still together that she was the
most beautiful in the moonlight.  She used to give him that adorable smile and her blue
eyes would light up and follow his midnight blue ones.  
He let out a short sigh and brushed his fingers across her forehead.  She didn't stir and he
gently traced the curve of her face.  Her cheeks were still damp from what seemed like
tears.  He cursed himself out silently and then he cursed out the force that was sending
these horrible premonitions of the future.

	Her eyelids fluttered slowly; there was someone in her bedroom.  The familiar
essence of roses spread throughout the room.  She inhaled deeply it had been far too long
since she had smelled that sweet fragrance.   She cracked her eye open and saw her
Mamo-chan kneeling next to the bed.  She didn't dare move she had to know what
brought him here.

@~~~/~~~\~~~~
I saw you as you walked across my room.
You looked out the window; you looked at the moon.
You sat on the corner of my bed, and
You smoked with the ghost in the back of my head.
@~~~/~~~\~~~~

	He rose slowly and studied her sleeping face from above.  Her lush lips were
parted calling him to steal just one kiss.  Fighting the urge he turned his eyes to the moon,
the body that guarded his love's soul and her very being.  It looked so faultless in the sky,
and he knew that's where his Usa got it.  Only something so perfect could be born from
something of equal or lesser beauty.  The moon was still constant in his life, the phases,
the light it provided Tokyo was still there.  He was still the protector of Sailor Moon, that
was a constant too, and no matter what he did that bond would never be severed.  
	Not that he wanted it to be cut anyway; he did enjoy that feeling of knowing Usa
was all right all the time.  She fed him her emotions; he felt her joy and happiness when
the people who loved her surrounded her.  There was no greater happiness in her heart
then when he was with her; the link seemed to resonate with love and passion at those
moments.  
He also felt her pain and sorrows every night before she turned in to get some
well-deserved sleep.  With every tear that flowed down her cheek and hit her pillow, a
little piece of him disappeared.  A piece that would never return to him again, no matter
how hard he fought to regain it.
He lowered himself onto the end of her bed, and held his face in his hands.  Tears were
coming quickly into his eyes and he was powerless to stop them.  He wanted to weep for
everything he had lost, everything he had so carelessly tossed away over a dream, a stupid
vision.
He felt Usa stir and he turned around to face her.  She was sitting up and staring at him
intently, "Mamo-chan." It wasn't a question it was a statement.

@~~~/~~~\~~~~
I don't know, and I don't care
If I ever will see you again.
I don't know, and I don't care
If I ever will be there.
@~~~/~~~\~~~~

	He stood to leave; he couldn't talk to her.  She reached out and grabbed his hand
and held it tight.  She pulled him back down onto the bed forcefully and tore the domino
mask right off his face.  He tried to break free of her grasp, but she clung to him as if her
very life depended on it.  Tears were gleaming in her eyes; "I will NOT let you leave
Mamo-chan.  You can't tell me that you don't love me and then just show up in my
bedroom so late at night.  I demand answers."
	"Usagi…" inwardly he cringed, he hated calling her that.  It was so formal for
people who have been lovers for a thousand years.  Her jaw dropped a little at the way he
said her name, but she quickly recovered.
	"Usagi?  Is that all I am to you now Mamoru?  After all the soul searching and
everything that we have been through, you address me so formal?" She said curtly, to
bring the pain to him that she felt so strongly for the last few weeks.  He let out a deep
sigh, this little visit was not meant to morph into this.  She wasn't supposed to wake up.

@~~~/~~~\~~~~
Do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
Do you sleep, do you keep me anymore?
@~~~/~~~\~~~~

	"I want a reason Mamoru, and I want a good one, for everything.  You have drug
me through hell and back and I want to know why.  I deserve to know why, it's my right
as a human being, to know why you want to hurt me so much." She let the anguish spill
over and she broke down.  She sat there sobbing as he looked helplessly on, resisting
every impulse and desire to hold her and kiss her all over.
	"Usa, this is killing me too, but it can't be helped.  I wish I could tell you…" he
was numb, a shell, void of all emotions watching her cry.  He reached for her arm, but
she jerked away.
	"I will not let myself be hurt by you again Mamoru, you deceived me.  I still love
you, but don't touch me unless you mean it.  I should have known that you wouldn't be
ready to devote yourself to me.  To hand over your heart and soul to me, and I can't make
you.  It kills me inside, every night my mind goes over that day again and again,
searching for some hidden meaning in your words."
	He rubbed his eyes, praying that this was all just a bad dream that he would wake
up in his bed.  He never should have come, it was a bad decision, he should have known
that being in such close proximity to her would drive him wild.

@~~~/~~~\~~~~
You kick my foot under the table,
I kick you back;
I can't say I'm able to
Stand for you or
Fall for you ever again.
Wish for a perfect setting?
Wishing that I am letting you
Take me where you want me
All over again?
@~~~/~~~\~~~~

	Her sobbing had slowly tapered off and he was still seated silent at the end of her
bed.  "No more tears Mamoru, I need to know, do you still love me?" the question
seemed to echo in his ears.  How could he sit there and ask him that?  Didn't she know
that nothing could cause him to stop loving her?  She deserved the truth, but he couldn't
tell her.  He doubted the reason himself, was it completely lacking any common sense to
listen to a dream?  But it was so clear and vivid in his mind how could ignore it?
	She stared at him, patiently awaiting an answer.  Every second that passed her
heart broke a little more, another piece crushed beyond recognition.  She tried to keep her
gaze grim, but inside her eyes were on the verge of tears again, her soul was empty and
mind was trying to ignore the fact that he was still silent after all of this time.
	"Do you love another?" she whispered, her greatest fear came out into the open. 
Every insecurity about herself flew from her mouth in those four words.  The tension in
the room got worse.  He stared at her with his mouth open.

@~~~/~~~\~~~~
You can't give yourself absolutely to someone else.
@~~~/~~~\~~~~

	"Never Usa it's not that, I promise.  It has nothing to do with anyone else but
myself." He answered softly after finding his voice.  She just nodded and said nothing.
	"Do you sleep anymore Mamo-chan?" the question was barely audible but he
heard it anyway.  He swallowed quickly, how could she know?  "I don't sleep anymore
Mamo-chan, I never sleep.  Every night I lie here in bed thinking of you, my mind will
not let me rest.  I need a reason; I need to calm my soul and my racing thoughts.  Do you
sleep anymore Mamo-chan?" she repeated it again, slowly, every word accented from her
throat.
	"No Usa I can't say that I do anymore." That got him, everything spilled out in one
fell swoop.  He found himself crying in her arms, tears streaming down her own cheeks
for the second time that night.  It was late and she had school the next morning.  After the
tears had dried he stood to leave.
	He pulled her slowly to her feet and kissed her lips gently, "Sweet dreams my
little Usa."  And he slipped out the window as quickly as he had come in.  She watched
him dart down the street in a blur of red and black.  She allowed herself to smile and she
climbed back into bed.  And for the first time in week Usagi slept.

@~~~/~~~\~~~~
Do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
Do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
Do you sleep anymore?
@~~~/~~~\~~~~

	~ Fin. ~

Now that's not the exact song, it's too long so I shortened it to fit the story line better. 
Please send feedback, I need it.  Right now I'm in Alex withdrawal, which also lent some
inspiration to this fic.  Feedback would really boost my spirits.
	Special thanks to: Clare-chan, Kelly, Adrianne, Sarah Beth, Curtis, and Meredith,
my great editor.  Until next time…

Liz-chan