(Humor... More like Complete Insanity... but oh well.)Hey Ya'll. Alrighty then. What is going on here w/ all the VERY SHAGADELIC colors??... I'm glad you asked. They're assigned to designated characters, and don't have a while lot to do with anything. GO MICHAEL YORK!... Now that that's over with...
This will be done in a screenplay type format.Have fun. Austin Powers, having finished up keeping Dr. Evil away from World Domination for the second time has gone on a little vacation from his British Agent lifestyle. Not knowing what to do with any of his time, he decided to drop in on Basil, asking HIS opinion.
AUSTIN: Basil!I've been thinking... Now I've got some vacation time coming up here, and while all of this secret agent stuff is VERY shagadelic, I was kind of wondering if we could arrange a bit of 'cross-over' action.
BASIL: What? AUSTIN: You know - remember that groovy tool that you have that can let me hop from place to place in totally 90's virtual-reality-style shindigs? BASIL: "Well Austin, I do believe that I have something that will spark your interests... (as Basil says this, he is secretly shoving a taped episode of Sailor Moon into a nearby drawer)AUSTIN:Groovy... Smashing!! Just remember to add lots of Swinging Chicks!!BASIL:(smiling)Austin, how ARE you recovering?AUSTIN:Well, I could be better, Basil. But seriously, Basil - Felicity? Another fembot? What were the odds?BASIL: Yes... sadly, we knew all along... again... (Austin's jaw drops, Basil continues on, apathetically)Anyway, just step up to this tube, fasten on these "groovy" glasses, as you'd call them - and you'll be ready for the vacation of your life!AUSTIN: Smashing, Basil, yeah! BASIL: Enjoy your time! I'll see you in about half an hour. *Groovy Travel music plays*
AUSTIN:It's amazing how the virtual world looks in no way like Southern California!... Where am I? (!!!ROAR!!!) CRIKEY! It's a bloody monster!! (out of nowhere...) MOON:I am Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice, I'm here to fight evil, and that means you (points at monster)! MERCURY: I am Sailor Mercury! MARS: I am Sailor Mars! (winks at Austin)JUPITER:And I am Sailor Jupiter! VENUS:Sailor Venus!! NEPTUNE:Sailor Neptune! URANUS:Sailor Uranus! (Sailor Scouts all beat living daylights out of monster.) Meanwhile, Austin - who has just realized that he is surrounded by 7 long legged young virgins, lifts his head to the sky and proclaims: Spectacles, Testacles, Wallet, and Watch! Thank you God for this fine bounty that I am about to receive!" (steel tipped rose flies through air, knocking Austin in the head)AUSTIN: OW!!! Honestly, who throws a rose? (Austin spots Tuxedo Mask, who is currently perched at some unreachable heighth) I'm going to have an awful lump there, you idiot! You fight like a woman!TMASK: You should never speak (breath) Of a woman in that way (breath)I shall teach you, HA!(Tuxedo leaps down, cane ready to hit Austin) AUSTIN: JUDO CHOP!!! (Austin cracks Tuxedo Mask's cane in two) (All scouts marvel at this)MARS: (to Jupiter) Has anyone ever done that before? I mean... isn't Tuxedo Mask supposed to win? JUPITER:(to Mars)I don't know... but he looks like my old boyfriend. MOON: (to herself) Everyguy looks like her old boyfriend...AUSTIN: (to TMASK) Do you have a problem breathing or something? I mean, seriously man, they have places where you can be checked out... And what's with that mask? Do you have an inferiority complex or something? If this world is supposed to be filled with chicks, what are you doing here?TMASK: Don't have a problem (breath) Now, Austin! Learn your lesson! (breath) You need some manners! VENUS:(to MERCURY)I don't know - he is very attractive, don't you think? MERCURY:No. . . (steps away from Sailor Venus quietly) (Enter Artemis, the cat)ARTEMIS: Did I miss anyth- AUSTIN! AUSTIN POWERS!!! AUSTIN: Why, Artemis!! You swinging cat, you! VENUS:(to Austin)How do you know my cat??? AUSTIN:I never forget a pussy. (weird looks from group)...Cat, that is. TMASK: (to Austin)I'll get you Austin (breath) With my TUXEDO MASK LEAP!(breath)(as Tuxedo Mask counts on his fingers to make sure he's got enough syllables to finish his haiku) DIE DIE DIE (thinking: was that three or four?) (pause)(yes.. three) DIE DIE!!! AUSTIN:(gets pissed at TuxedoMask) JUDO FLIP!! (flips TMask over nearby small, well-placed building) MOON: DARIEN!!!! ? JUPITER: Oh come on... he's probably just unconscious, as USUAL!!(entire group w/ exception of MOON nods in agreement) AUSTIN: Well, now that the scary Carnie is gone, allow myself to introduce... myself. I'm Austin "Danger" Powers. (looks at Mars, Mars winks) Hello... (looks at Venus, Venus giggles) (girls begin to crowd around Austin, except Mercury, still shaking her head, and Moon, who was still looking longingly after Darien.) BASIL'S VOICE: Austin... AUSTIN: Honestly, it's not mine... BASIL'S VOICE AGAIN: No, Austin... it's time to come back! AUSTIN: But... (warp back into reality...) REAL BASIL: Welcome back to reality, Austin! AUSTIN: But I had to leave all the swinging chicks... BASIL: That's because of the time limit, Austin. AUSTIN: But I was just about to work my MOJO on them... BASIL: Maybe next time, Austin...
Fin
