(Humor... as most of these will end up being)
Also a little OOC for Zechs... This fic now answers a question I have had since I first saw the show... What is with those boots?
Zechs Merquis sat at his desk, scratching away at the latest document. A pile of unfinished paperwork to his right, still waiting to be looked at. It was quiet for once around the office of the Preventers, and he had been looking forward to finally getting some work done.
"Hmm... I wonder where that bottle of Wild Turkey is hidden. Where could Noin have stashed it?. . . Hmm... Noin..." A sudden thought ran through Zechs's head, causing him to nearly have a run in with a nosebleed. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the once inanimate object rolling off the desk, until the soft thud.
"Damn!" Zechs cursed, breaking away from his blissful thoughts of Noin... "My last pen!!" He stood up slowly, giving the pen a glare that even Heero would have been proud of. After a few minutes of staring with blind hatrid at his writing implement, he glanced around the room nervously to make sure no one was watching. Slowly, he attempted to bend down in order to retrieve the damned thing. As he bent, his knee met the hard chafing leather of his boot cuff, preventing any further movement downward. "SHIT!!" Quickly, while still half bent over, Zechs made another quick sweep of the room, hoping no one had heard. Muttering angrily to himself, he tried again, bending from the waist, only to find that he could hardly make his fingers reach past his calf; and at that point his groin was in pain. "You know..." Zechs arose from his currently awkward (and painful) position. Sighing, he made his way towards the intercom, cursing his boots with every step he took. For a moment, Zechs only stared at the intercom, debating whether it was THAT important for him to complete his work. Sighing a second time, he decided on Une and pressed a button.
"Une?"
"Yes Zechs?"
"Would you... come up here for a moment? I need... a little help."
"I probably can't handle the kind of help you need. Zechs, but I'll come anyway."
A few moments passed until Colonel Une entered the room.
"Well..." she paused, hands on hips, staring at the stationery blonde man in the middle of the room. "What do you need me here for? I'm quite busy, Zechs, and I really don't have time for..."
Zechs began pointing at the floor where his pen had fallen.
"A pen?" She asked, raising her left eyebrow, "You called me up here to pick up a damn pen?"
"Just help me out here," Zechs snapped. Une walked forward arrogantly, and reached for the pen... only to have her knees collide with the cuff of her own leather boots. She arose and bent back down, thinking it was a fluke. However, once again, the cuff remained stubborn. She rose a second time, and noticed Zechs smiling pompously. Determined to up him one, she tried once again, this time bending from the waist. Une's fingers barely stretched past her calf as well. She rose, beaten. Zechs stood, smirking at her.
"What do you suggest we do, Une?"
"I... well... Call Noin."*Moments Later* Noin was bending for the third time to retrieve Zechs's fallen pen. During this entire period, Zechs had: slapped himself twice, refrained from spanking Noin once, and unsuccessfully fought off three waves of nosebleeds. During his unpleasant ordeal, Une had been watching him with an evil smirk.
"Well," Noin said slowly, "I don't know... maybe if we all bend down, we could try blowing (at this point Zechs sat down, hoping to relieve any... pressure) it towards... Zechs's (Zechs begins to grip his knee and his knuckles go white) boot; if he can get it on his toe, I'm pretty sure that he could get it up to a point (Zechs buried his head in his hands) that he could reach it."
The two females bent over and began blowing the pen in Zechs's general direction. As this was going on, Duo Maxwell happened to be walking by the open door. Pausing, he glanced in; then did a double take. All three occupants of the room turned and realized help could be on its way.
"Uh, Duo..." Noin asked, "...little help here?"
Duo continued his stare as a broad grin swept across his face. The grin turned to a chuckle, which evolved into a laugh, and soon Duo was on the floor gripping his stomach while tears rolled down his cheeks. Noin sighed, and continued blowing the pen across the floor.
"You know, Maxwell," Zechs started, face still a healthy shade of crimson, "you could be offering a LITTLE assistance here..."
It was at this point that Chang Wufei stopped behind Duo, who was currently spasming on the floor. He looked inside the room for a bit, contemplating the scene before him. "Women." He mumbled as he turned on his heels, heading back down the corridor.
Meanwhile Duo, still laughing, had managed to somehow pull himself into a standing position. Yet the sight of the crazy antics of those inside the office only caused him to relapse into another state of hysterical laughter. Knees buckling and tears gushing, he flew backwards, colliding into the figure behind him. An ever-familiar voice rang out in the hallway.
"Omae o korosu."
"Oh... hey... Heero..!!" Duo choked out between laughs. Heero peered into the office apathetically. Without a word, he entered and picked up the fallen pen, handed the pen to Zechs and exited. Une and Noin who were still half-bent over, straightened up, and brushed off their uniforms, looking around quickly to make sure no one but the two Gundam pilots had seen them.
"You know," Une said, still fidgeting with her coat, "these boots are really starting to piss me off..."THE END
