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Ruining America:

Brook Busey
Baby tha #1 Stunna
Scott Stapp
Jay Leno
Hal Sparks
Kelly Ripa
Carson Daly
Carrot Top
Any Commercial Not Featuring Hammer or Sure-Tel Man
Star Jones
Barbara Walters
Meredith Viera
Mario Lopez
John Travolta
Jenny Jones
Jerry Springer
Sally Jessy Raphael
The Little Girl From Pepsi Commercials
Neil Young
The Get-Up Kids
Anne Heche
Steven Segal
Showtime at the Apollo without Steve Harvey
Dashboard Confessional
Dashboard Confessional fans
Carrot Top (again)
Carrot Top's hair
Carrot Top's "career"
Starbucks customers
Regis Philbin
Bill O'Reilly