~~C. Lindquist, 1990
This poem is the first one I had ever written. (Untitled) ~~C. Lindquist, 1988
"A Plea for Help" ~~C. Lindquist, 1989
This next poem is, obviously, inspired by the Pink Floyd classic "The Wall" "The Wall" ~~C. Lindquist, 1990
"Letter of Surrender" ~~C. Lindquist, 1990
"Flight" ~~C. Lindquist, 1995
(Untitled) ~~C. Lindquist, 1994
"Ode to a Country Boy" ~~C. Lindquist, 1993
This poem is dedicated to Richard Fogle, Sarah Llewellyn, and Dianna Rogers, three good friends of mine from years gone by. It is about a night before Rich left for the Army, Dianna moved away, and Sarah got married. I drove Sarah's car (I did this a lot before I got my license), picked up Dianna, then picked up Richard, who was then (and somehow still is now) the object of my unrequited love. I ran a stop sign (he was wearing "Eternity" and I paid more attention to that and not on my driving), accidentally drove around in the slums, and finally went to a nearby park to say our good-byes. This is probably the best poem I have ever written.
"A Night to Remember" ~~C. Lindquist, 1990 "A Place" I sit here all by myself ~~C. Lindquist, 1990 Top
Here is a poem that I wrote just this morning (6/21/98) as an observation of the wedding between Julie, my old college roomate, and Tom (a great guy and perfectly suited for Jules). I hope their lives together will be as joyous and exciting as that day. *smiles* I love ya's both!
"At Last" ~~C. Lindquist, 1998 Top
This poem is dedicated to GypsyElf, arabesque, marionette, and hawk.
"One" ~~C. Lindquist, 1998 Top
"The Fight" ~~C. Lindquist, 1994 Top
"Confidence" ~~C. Lindquist, 1990 Top
"The Nature of Things" ~~C. Lindquist, 1990
"Casting the Spell"
The drawing, the name, the signs
I close my eyes and summon
The candlelight dims, flames flicker
A thickness hangs in the air,
Invisible flames char the edges of the paper,
The spell is cast. ~~C. Lindquist, 1995 He is Strength personified, He is a fierce Hunter, He is Challenge and Courage, And He loves Me. ~~~Catherine R. Lindquist~~~ This lifeless wooden beam For the life on this beam, ... The sun is high and hot -- I want to feel their pain, ~~Cathy Lindquist
I've lost sight of who I am meant to be. ~~Catherine Lindquist According to my good friend Jenny, this is probably the best and most mature poem I have ever written...and I'm inclined to agree with her. It came to me one night and was one of those poems you just HAVE to write out immediately or you'll lose it. As you can see, I spent a few more hours awake and, for once, didn't lose a damn thing. "I, Your Violin" ~~Catherine Lindquist "Intermittent Memories" ~~Kat Lindquist--for Richard
Top
"My Gift of Being" ~~Catherine Lindquist Top
"A Mother's Prayer for Her Daughter" ~~Catherine Lindquist
Top
Life is like a merry-go-round.
It has its moments,
Its ups and downs
Circles in eternity.
When it ends...
Everyone off.
Top
It's the perfect world, though I'm here all alone.
All my needs are satisfied; a heartbeat close to me
Throbbing steadily, strongly, calmly, reassuringly...
I love you, mama.
Something is wrong; I can sense it.
The heartbeat I rely on
Beating frantically, quickly, weakly, frightening...
I'm scared, mama.
Something foreign invades my perfect world,
Scraping me from my life-source.
I hurt thoroughly, painfully, wrongfully, dying...
Help me mama...
Don't let me die before I'm even born...please?
Top
I'm not proud of it
Even though I built it myself.
There are no faults, perfectly constructed.
Nothing can get in,
No breaks in my wall.
I receive no emotion.
My face is blank.
No true sight is in my eyes.
I'm not even truly here.
None can get inside
Behind these imagined walls of steel.
But even as nothing can get in,
I cannot get out.
It's my fault.
I built the wall too strongly.
I lost contact with the world.
I lost control of my mind.
I am blank.
I am emotionless.
I don't exist.
Top
Art thou most elated with thineself now?
Thou has bested me in this final battle.
Ere long, I had sensed this victory,
Thy sweet revenge hast cast me asunder.
I, the last of my noble calling,
Have bid a grudging retreat.
Thy wicked and twisting ways
Hath made me lose honor and her friendship.
My fellow knight-at-arms was beaten,
Though he fought most bravely.
I am now alone, outnumbered.
The method of thy fighting be most dishonorable.
Aye, I leave this field of battle,
And leave to you the spoils of our war
I hath fought for so long to protect and
Hath turned against me so.
Aye, tis mine regret that thou hatest me.
Tis mine folly...and my weakness.
Thou hast stolen what I had left.
Sadness of memory be mine, and
Sweet revenge be thine, but remember:
The sweet turns to bitter if taken too much.
Beware thineself, be on thy guard,
For thy own self be thy greatest enemy.
Top
Firmly grounded, my mind lost at sea,
Thoughts of the past colouring the
Grey, cold world an intense
Spectrum of colours, flickering and shifting
So that no hue is left unlit on the
Canvas of winter snows.
I dream while awake,
Dreaming of having the power to
Fly on wings lifted by the salty winds
Of the ocean that separates my mourning heart
From the reason for my mourning.
In my dreams, I confront my fears
And tear them apart with my talons of steel,
Yet joy still eludes my grasping
Fingertips, leading me on to
Destinations unknown far from
Me, from what I know, so I
Continue on in hopes of one day
Catching the answers to my prayers,
Clutching that prism which will make
My life vibrant colour again
Instead of black and white.
Top
It already seems as if ages have passed,
Though I knew the time we had wouldn't last.
The thoughts of you run through my mind
Like sands in an unending glass and keep no time...
Feelings, thoughts, times we shared,
The times I realized how much we cared.
All this fills me with longing sighs
For the union we had that held no lies.
I wish we could have developed together
A deeper companionship that shone brighter and better.
Alas, for perfection in something cannot be sought,
Such high a star cannot be bribed or bought.
Passing years will change us with each tolling bell,
For better, for worse, only time can tell.
I write this in your memory,
For the friendship you did lend to me.
The void inside me will fill as heal I do,
For I have given that part of my soul freely to you.
Top
Your simple ways,
Your lazy days
Draw me into your world...
Wings of freedom unfurled.
The pressures of my city life
Gladly given up to be your wife,
Living near a fertile field,
Watching the land give yeild,
To the essence of the earth.
A fire reflecting our mirth
As we while the night away,
A cocoon of love where we lay.
Speaking with our eyes in silence,
Leaving the world to its violence...
Cozy, safe in your embrace,
Placing soft kisses on your face.
You are my earth, my sky, my sun.
With each passing day, we become one.
Top
It was a cool summer breeze
That touseled our hair
As we sailed into the star-filled sky
That night near the close of August.
The four of us left our worries behind
And regained our childhood
As we played on the swings
That launched us up like a rocket
Then down to the ground again,
But never quite touching before
Swinging back high into the air.
We each had our own thoughts,
We really didn't talk much.
We just acted like children
And laughed...and sometimes sang.
And as we tired of the swings,
(As children are wont to do)
We sat in a circle on the sand
And listened to the drunken conversation
Of vacuum cleaners and laughed.
Being late as it was,
We all really had to get home
And reassume our real lives,
So we left the park, not looking back
On that night of forgotten memories.
All that was left was the slow-moving swings
Used now only by phantoms of childhood dreams,
A sand snake and a sand shark
Forever pitted against each other
But never close enough to fight
Slowly being worn away back
Into the shapeless sand they were born of,
A distant echo of laughter and song...
And four sets of footprints
Leading off into the night.
Alone with my thoughts.
I wonder at the trees and sky,
Breathe the flowers' scents,
I dangle my feet
In the slow moving stream below me,
Calming me in its motion.
This is my place.
It's where I come
When things aren't right...
When I feel that
I can't stand the madness
Surrounding the world today.
Here I am at ease,
And I can see much clearer.
Here I ponder,
The wonders I see,
The things not known,
The things I want to be,
The way my life is going...
It's a place of my thoughts
My hopes,
My dreams.
A whirlwind romance began many years ago,
And though they had their troubles,
And spent a few years apart,
They knew deep in their hearts
That their love was a once in a lifetime chance
And that they would return to each other again.
The music played...the song was sung...
The groom and bride both nervous but
Confident in their love for each other.
The bride, resplendent in white and in joy,
Arm in arm with her father,
Walks to join her lifelong mate at the altar.
The first of many kisses were exchanged...
The first of many vows...The beginning
Of many years gazing into each others' eyes.
Their happiness and radiant smiles
For the lookers-on emblazon the church
With pure love and light,
As they become, now and forever,
Husband and wife.
Best wishes follow them on their way,
Best wishes for a long and happy life
Together in each others' arms...
For children that will,
In turn, bring them joy...
For a successful home and career,
And, most of all, the confidence that
Their love will be as strong in
All of their tomorrows
As it is this day.
Her L/loves are now Complete,
United in Heart and Soul.
Forever remaining as One,
Tending T/their Garden,
Making It grow in Beauty,
Ever Blooming, Ever Light...
Defending Its Splendour,
Reveling in T/their Joy,
Partaking in T/their Passions,
Always Together in One Home...
Complete at last.
The two young boys stood toe to toe,
Their eyes blazing with the passions of youth
And the fire of hot blood and hotter tempers...
Their fists clenched at their sides,
Knuckles white with fury.
"You better take that back!" one shouted.
"You'll have to make me," the other retorted.
"Oh, I'll make you alright," the first sneered
And shoved the other away.
The indignant boy retaliated,
Charging the other, fists flying...
And so the fight began,
The onlookers cheering on the combatants.
Two fists connected with two eyes,
And both fell to the ground,
Breathless and in pain....
They've been best friends ever since.
We can tell each other anything at all.
Our joys, our downfalls are shared.
We help each other all we can,
And if we can't, we always listen.
I hold you in the highest regard for this.
You keep all my secrets faithfully.
My confidence in myself has risen
Because you were there to confide in.
Here I sit on the bank of my river,
Lying in the grass, hands under my head,
The sky above, a turquois stone,
The ground below, fragrant of ages,
The trees, homes to elves and faeries,
The river so pure and full of life,
Myself, so confused of where I fit
In this scene of royal grandeur.
As I look dreamily at the sky,
As I breathe the fragrance of ages,
As I listen to the wind in the trees,
As I see all that has passed in the river,
I realize I am a part of it all:
The vast expanse of sky,
The earth, root of all beginnings,
The ancient magic of the trees,
The history of the world in the water...
They are a part of me
As I am a part of them
When I sit on the bank of my river.
The candles are lit
One by One...
I sit in the
Center
And open the Book...
are all right...
the powers that be...
In drafts that do not exist...
I know They hear my Prayer...
the name burns through..."The Eagle"
I watch Him command the skies
From My perch far below,
His keen eye and adept wings
Capture My eye and deepest
Admiration.
Thunder in flesh,
The very nature of Might.
All others pale in comparison
To Him.
A brave Fighter,
The master Pilot of the air,
And dedicated to protect
What is His.
Wonder and Wisdom,
Integrity and Independence,
Truth and Teacher,
Home and Heart...
November 21, 1998"The Pillon"
The pillon --
Its wooden shanks
Immersed,
In up to its neck
In the brackish water
Of the tide pool.
The sluggish tide
Slides past its
Immobility,
Stirring the
Microcosm
Attached to it.
Provides food, shelter,
And stability for
Its residents --
But as the tide rolls away,
It becomes a trap
Set by the sun
And the receding waters.
The safe world becomes smaller
And drier.
The strongest and most
Adapted
Flee to whatever
Safety they can find.
The rest are doomed
On the pillon's surface...
And still the water goes.
The water is long gone.
The life is burning
Left exposed to the harsh heat
And are drying...dying.
But the pillon does not feel.
Not feeling is easier.
Without feeling,
There is no pain.
There is nothing
Except for the pull
Of the tide,
The heat of the sun,
The passage of years
Until you are worn to
Nothing...
Uncaring, unaware
Of what you may have been
Or never were.
1998
I am falling into a cycle of less than I am.
I find myself aiding the wrong sort of people
And keeping company with those that are not right for me.
I keep hearing songs that remind me of yesterday
When my path was clear and well-lit --
When my fellows were my strength, my staff, my equals
And my heart was as easy and warm as May.
I keep thinking abut those times with you.
Even when on my own when years had passed, you were there.
Your voice, your written word justified the smile on my face and heart.
I still wonder if I meant even this much to you.
Will our paths ever cross again? Will you bide?
Will I ever finish what I started out to be?
Will I learn that, despite all effort, not everyone can be helped?
Will your friendship return...and stay by my side?
1999
I, your violin, upon which our soul
Is given expression.
I, your violin,which you tend so well.
I, your violin, which we hold in high value,
Not only for the voice I share
But for what we bring out in you.
Your hands grip me firmly and gently
As a trusted friend, confidant, mate.
They ache to summon that which
Only we, together, can command into being.
Your fingers-callused, strong, familiar genius
Caress me, and I cry out as every note
You form of me rings clear and right and true.
Your vibrato, the agony-ecstasy of raw power and passion
Is everything from grieving sorrow
To tempestuous joy.
My voice fills your need-
Understands your soul-
Releases your fears, your hopes
In a phrase, in a measure.
I, your violin, am one with you.
Without you, I have no voice.
Without me, you are unfinished.
With our symphony of solace, sadness,
Triumph and pain,
We are our sun, moon,
Day and night.
Alone, we are void of all that is love.
Together, we are Creation.
2000
I can almost remember every talk
We ever had, big or small.
I hear "Somebody" purely by chance and
A tremor plays about my lips
In an almost-memory that just eludes me.
Flashes of a faded glance, a faded smile
A faint scent of how good you smelled--
A distant remembrance of an ignored road sign
While I was preoccupied in breathing deeply.
A verse, a phrase echoes in my mind--
Those words were not for me, and yet
Ghostly tears still fall for the soul that wrote them.
The exact where's and why's of what
We were have since escaped my mind.
That missing trusting part of my heart longs
For them to be so vivid and clear again.
For ever since, I have never shared something
That incredibly special with anyone.
And yet, for all the things about us
That are now just mist in the rising sun,
I will always vividly remember that
Final embrace, that last and only kiss,
And how sweet you always were with me.
5/2000
I give you my loyalty and friendship
Knowing that you will hold them in high regard.
I give to you my faith and honesty
For I cannot be untruthful or hide from you.
I give to you my support and strength
Even the strongest cannot stand alone forever.
I give to you my kinship and spirit
And ask that you return what you can in kind.
I give you my deepest secrets and thoughts
Though they are already yours for the taking.
I give you my candor and opinion
Though you already know them well.
I give you all that, logically, I should not give
For I'm afraid of losing the closeness we do share,
And yet continue to give you some more of me
Because I can't not give it to you.
I give you my understanding for I know
The fears you have of and for me and those you have for yourself.
I give to you my comfort and compassion
For I want to be there to help you weather it through.
But of all the things I have given you, I save this for last:
The gift of that last small but eternal place in my heart
Unscathed, unravaged, unembittered by the past
Where my true soul and deepest being resides.
I give this important gift to you for I know that
No matter what shall pass, what things may come to be,
We shall always have a special bond between us.
And as you trust me with what no others know,
I trust you and no other with all that is who I am.
I ask no promises of you, for I'd rather you be true to yourself.
I only ask that you always remember these gifts I've given you
And the spirit in which they were placed in your keeping.
November, 2000
I feel you grow inside of me
And with every kick you give me,
And every heartbeat I hear,
I pray that you will be healthy.
I bring you into this world
Under a sea of pain
And with every exhausted push,
I pray that you will survive.
I hold you in my arms
For the very first time
And with every tear of joy,
I pray that you will always be as beautiful.
I begin the monumental task
Of raising and nurturing you
And with every step and every new tooth
I pray I am doing right by you.
After five wonderful and too-short years of always
Having you with me and experiencing your firsts,
I send you to school for the first time
And pray that I have taught you well.
I nurse and counsel you through every
Bump, bruise, and broken heart over the years,
And try to be understanding of your troubles...
I pray that you have learned life's lessons.
I watch and wonder at the woman you have grown into
And am proud that I've had a part in creating the person you are.
And as I send you out into the big, wide, and often cruel, world,
I pray that you will succeed and never come to any harm.
I place a flowing veil upon the head I once
Wiped clean of playtime dust and birthday cake.
And as I send you down the aisle to join your life with his,
I pray with all my heart that he is a good and loving man.
And now as you have children of your own,
I pray that you will raise them better than I did you,
That your life will be blessed with every joy and opportunity
And that you will remember me with love when I am gone.
November, 2000
