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CubsJokes
I want to start a page of Cub jokes, so if you have one, please EMAIL it to me. Leave your name so I can give you credit.

Three fans are in a bar. One has on a White Sox hat, another a Mets hat, and the last a Cubs hat. After a while they decide to leave and when they walk outside they see a naked woman lying on the sidewalk dead. The Mets fan takes off his hat and puts it over a breast. The White Sox fan does the same over the other. The Cubs fan takes his off and covers her below the waist. After a few minutes the cops arrive, and the lead investigator removes each the hats and places them back. Then he lifts the Cubs hat up again and just stares at the woman for a few minutes. Well the fans are wondering what the cop is doing, so they ask him if he is a perverted freak. The cop replies "no, it's just that I've never seen anything other than an asshole under a Cubs hat." -Metsfan

A Chicago man dies and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devilcomes over to welcome him.The devil then says "sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here", the man says, "no problem. I'm from Chicago." So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to the Chicago man to see how's he's doing. To the devil's surprise, the man is doing just fine. "No problem...it's just like Chicago in June", the man says. So the devil goes back over to the thermostat, and turns the temperature up to 150, and the humidity up to 90. He then goes backover to see how the Chicago man is doing. The man is sweating a little, but overall looks comfortable. "No problem. Just like Chicago in July",theman says. So now the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 200, and the humidity up to 100. When he goes back to see how theman is doing, the man is sweating profusely, and has taken his shirt off. Otherwise, he seems OK. he says, "No problem. Just like Chicago inAugust". Now the devil is really perplexed. So he goes back to the thermostat, and turns the temperature to MINUS 150 DEGREES. Immediately, all the humidity in the air freezes up, and the whole place becomes a frigid, barren, frozen, deathly cold wasteland. When he goes back now to see how the Chicago man is doing, he is shocked to discover the man is jumping up and down, and cheering in obvious delight. The devil immediately asks the man what's going on. To which the Chicago man replies...."THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!" "THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!"

A young boy is in the middle of a bitter custody dispute between his divorcing parents. In court the judge asks the boy if he'd like tolive with his mother full time, and boy replies, "No way! My mom beats me when I misbehave!" The judge then asks if he'd like to live full time with his father. Again the boy bellows, "No way, my dad beats me when I misbehave!" The judge says, "Well son, you have to live with somebody, who do you want to live with?" The boy looks down at his feet and thinks for a long minute, pondering this monumentous decision, and then suddenly says to thejudge, "I got it! I wanna live with the Chicago Cubs!!!" The judge has apuzzled look on his face and asks the young boy, "Why do you want to live with the Chicago Cubs?" The young boy answers back quickly, "Because the Chicago Cubs never beat anybody!!!"


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