"Hi! I'm a 49 year old gay restaurant owner from Evanston! Look at these mardi gras beads in cubs colors! If that's not cute I don't know what is"
"A double date and a double header all at the same time! Fabulous!"
"Is the game over yet dude?"
"Now son, don't pay attention to the game until Sammy comes up. Also, if the umpire makes a bad call, throw your trash onto the field."
"Hot babes, cold Old Style, gettin a tan, ditched work, Tom Skilling singin' the 7th inning stretch... this is what baseball's all about man"
"Dude!!! Here comes the beer man!!!!!!!!"
"I paid $15 for parking, $25 for my ticket, just so I could blow bubbles here at beautiful Wrigley Field. It's worth every cent. And look, everyone else sitting over here doesn't give a fuck about the game either."
"Cubs woo world woo series woo sammy woo sosa woo sammy woo sosa woo kerry woo wood woo fred woo mcgriff woo i woo dont woo shower woo or woo wash woo my woo clothes woo i woo smoke woo crack woo ronn woo coomer woo jon woo lieber woo"