by Ann, Sabrina, Meredith, and Amelia
*Welcome to Hell, kid.
*FUBAR - the only way to be.
*S.H.I.M. (She, He, It- Maybe)
*We're all gonna die!!!
*No shit, Sherlock
*Her hair looks like a mushroom cloud
*A Pizza Slut, a Pizza Slut....
*He's suffering from overexposure to Dick
*Did you see that?? That is what happens when cousins marry.
*Ugh.
*I hate fat, balding men.
*Extra Tasty Crispy Bob....mmmm-fryin pan!
*Things that make you go "hmmm".
*Excuse me, but do you have any cheap yellow mustard?
*Bow down and worship me, you masses!
*Ouch. That had to suck.
*Goioioioiob
*Luke's ass
*Binaca breath sucks.
*Soths 'R' Us
*WOAH!
*D.D.S. - Dumb Dick Suckers
*Check ya later!
*Once there was an ugly Shim, what was it - her or him? I know not...I tried not to see, No one knows: she or he? It was stupid, it was fat, it's whiskers were NOT like a cat. Unfortunately, it liked to dance, just like a drunken dyke. I thank God, it wore pants, it'd scare a little tyke. Its hobby was hopping bars...that and getting laid in cars. I don't know what you'd want to do, with something with more facial hair than you. But it loved to dance, in its nasty plaid, butt-huggin' pants. You can guess its favorite move. But at least its tops weren't like a tube. Its song was to an awful tune..Shim'd yell and shimmy round the room! It'd try to find a guy to seduce..all Shim wanted was for his pants to get loose! So all you guys on the bar scene, be very careful - it won't seem mean. Always remember the rhyme I tell you: Shim shimmeny, Shim shimmeny, Shim, Shim shimroo! You'd better watch out - It will try to do you!
*You've heard of hip-huggers? Those, my friend, are ass huggers.
*"Bic it, Baby." "Zippo, Yeah!" "No, Bic it."
*Quick, Shannon! To the Fatcave!
*Happy Birthday, Mr. President...
*I am Bathsheba, Queen of De Nile....No, wait, Queen of de Mississippi.
*Fairies are our friends.
*Loverly.
*I wanna be a junkie when I grow up!
*Lovely Rita, Metermaid! Nothing can come between us.
*Come baby, come, baby, baby, come, come!
*Pardon me, but you seem to have a large stick up your ass.
*Does "anal retentive" have a hyphen?
*God save us.
*Oh, sweet Jesus, help us in our time of need!
*I can see your dirty pillows.
*Jesus's eyes! Jesus's eyes!
"Remember, we are not thinking about Little Susie Fat Ass."
*Ride, Santa, ride!
*Ho down!
*Easy, sleazy, greazy, Cover Girl
*I know a goaty man, he drives a Gator van. He'll sell you anything, from LSD on down. One day, I'll be his wife, we'll share his druggie life...HOT GOAT! I love that goaty man!
*Don't look directly at her..you may never see again.
*I am silent, like an indian in the forest.
*"He's going the distance, he's going for speed."
*FAH-Q
*"I wish I was queer, so I could get chicks."
*"I don't go to extremes to get some; I go to my aunt.'
*She needs a Marijuana CQ patch.
*al eye kno ie lernd frum mR: watsunns inglich claz....thenk yu fet mayn!
"I'm hungry...can I have a roll?"
*"Yo! Can Hammer come out?"
*My little friend who had the misunderstanding with the weed whacker...
*Jimmy Shlong's ~ Cummin' Soon!
*A quarter inch tighter and when they give, her jeans's buttons will be shrapnel.
*Butta love
*Disney porn is cool.
*The Britton kid shaved! The Britton kid shaved!
*luke wut thes skool iz duing tu mei!!!
*boioioioioioing!
*"When I go to college, all I'm gonna do is BANGBANGBANGBANG!"
*"Blow Beck, derelict man."
*The Lubb Connection
*1-800-4ASLUTT
*Sher sux!
*Largo
*Pouf!
*"You have braces. I have braces too...Let's do it.
*Just Doob It
*Lukesass
*Ah'm smert cuz ah'm in mestr whatsun`s ingleesh claz
*Dick-N-Vance
*Let's sneak dick out
*Shlongville - Home of the Shlong Warriors
*Bald Knob
*You have wrong numba. You no call here no more.
*You make my liver quiver.
*You make my bladder gladder.
*Heigh-HOE!
*can you smell...
*If he shoves one more cupcake into that excuse for a face, I'm gonna hurl.
*I'm going to eat you.
*Heyhowzitgoin?
*I'm going to kill someone.
*Let's all think of favorite ways to die!
*Ya-ay!
*The first person to jump off this balcony and not break anything in their body wins!
*"Thank you" - Mr. Kellar
*FOOM
*Fat men are not your friends.
*Tracy Trolls
*Is that a dead rodent on top of her head?
*I wonder if I could throw this and make it into her throat....
*I hate little rat-like dogs with hair bows.
"Sugar, that's my seat."...."Well, Sweet-N-Low, I sat here, so its mine now."
*Cancer-in-a-packet
*You've heard of the ugly stick?....Well the whole damn forest is after her!
*See if you can play in rush hour traffic and not get hurt...
*Let's play jump off the balcony! The person with the most and worst injuries wins. A severed spine is an automatic victory.
*Who's yo daddy?
*I'm gonna fix that bissoch a drano cocktail.
*Hello darkness, my old friend....
*Borf - The Other Gray Meat
*Bride of Chuckie
*"The only reason cocaine is so popular is because people are too lazy and stupid to roll themselves a joint."
*Maybe I will go back to my dolls.
*I really hate techno pop christmas carols.
*Swirly!
*"...I take a hit and it smells like clove; oh fuck, I got a baggie of oregano!"
*Sa-Wayt!
*"Bobby, you talked. Give me a bit of your silence stick."
*NEWSFLASH: You aren't Kurt. You never will be Kurt. He's dead. Do you hear me? DEAD! DEAD!
*Pieca Boob you kant find me. You suke at sking.
*Hey baby.
*Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know, I've been using it for years.
*Aaron goes grunge gay and Ross
goes to boot camp.
*What 'd hell, twitch?
*Kerber Baby has herpes!
*3 words- Ursula the Seawitch
*Give it up fatboy!
*If you want to be worshipped, go to India and moo.
*Dat boy got a cupcake belly!
*"Smo-oke" .... "What?"...."Fiy-errr!"...."Fire?! Where?"...."Nevabide!!! Nevabide!!"
*"I am Afro Man! Runnin' through the woods from the Ku Klux Klan! If you hear me scream, throw me down like Rodney King!.....(Iron Man)
*"Code Blue! Code Blue!"
*Booy, wush yoo tawin bout? Awabomma gonna git beat by Awbun.
*"Ribence? You want me to ribence? My bottom lip is on the flo' an' you want me to ribence?"
*Because of my father, from the ages of 7-15, I thought my name was Jesus Christ and my brother's name was Dammit. - "Dammit, stop making that noise! Jesus Christ, sit down!" - One day I was out playing in the yard. - "Dammit, will you get in here?!" I yelled back at him "Da-ad! I'm Jesus Christ!"
*"Oh my God! Kenny's dead! Those bastards killed Kenny!"
*"Jeez-um!"
*Chow down, Wide Load!
*"Of course they float, Georgie. Everything floats down here. Soon you will float too!"
*Yu durty rat! Yu kil' my brudda!
*You know, Lubb Machine is the perfect height on Mr. Nobiscuit...But I guess since he has no biscuit, he'll just have to settle for having his salad tossed.
*Oh - No!
*You been here four howa! You no come here no more!
*Buttlick's wearing the same outfit he wore yesterday...and the day before...and the day before that, and....
*"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the cummin of the lord. He opened up the panties of the little whore next door."....(Battle Hymn of the Republic)
*I noticed you have braces....I have braces too.
*"Do you like the taste of beer?" "Damn straight!"
*The turtle can't save us now.
*Dreeemboat!
*"I'm so proud - I can palm a basketball." "I'm so proud - I can palm a wallet."
*Booty Maid
*I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
*COOKING WITH THE BVM - Martha Stewart's Stuffing
Mix together 1 package stuffing mix, 1 lb. unpopped popcorn, 1 cup water, and a stalk diced celery. Shove it up the turkey's butt and when it's ass blows off, it's done!
*Precious, Precious, Precious!
*Pretend this leg is Christmas and this leg is Thanksgiving. Greg wants to cum between the holidays.
*The tree is coming.
*Bring me a Pepsi, Woman!
*Fosters - Australian for Beer
*That boy sounds like he's breathing through his ass.
*1-800-GMTRUCK
* Let's get to the point, let's roll another joint.
*"So let her be a lesbian! There are other fishies in the sea! - Love, Ma-om"
*I am a small shlong in the world...
*Bee-ai-itch!!!
*The King
*We're here. We're queer. Get over it.
*Another turning point, another fork stuck in the road..
*Shwing, Shwing, Shwing it in!
*Why does Derek look human?
*You know what they call a shlong in England? A trouser snake.
*FeM&M's
*Strawberry Nasties
*CBS's Wednesday Nite Special: "Santa's Weekend Eggnog Bender"
*Oh, we're just dumb on paper.
*Is it a cruck or a trar?
*Chili Man speaks: "the door...shut the door"
*Wait, wait, wait - the Lady's Man has a question - "Just how dinky is your wang?"
*"He looka lika you, he looka lika me, he looka lika man."
*"If you want to cross the bridge my sweet, you've got to pay the troll!"
*You poor, unfortunate souls!!
*Look guys, it's Derika
*"Let me out of this sinwagon! And here's your piece of tin back!"
*'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the theatre, not a creature was stirring, except for my peter...
*More nervous than a gerbil in a San Fransisco pet store..
*Hi Mr. (Shwing), how (shwing) are you today? I was (shwing) wondering if maybe later you could help me (shwing, shwing) with my (shwing) homework. Maybe I could come to your house and we could (SHA-WING!) study for a while on your coffee table. Or if Joe is home we could go back to your room and (SHA-WING!!!!!) work there. Anyway, thanks for (shwing) all your (shwing) help.
*I smell bacon, I smell ham. Run from the police, fast as you can. I smell bacon, I smell grease. HOLY SHIT, IT'S THE FUCKIN POLICE!
*You're face to face with the man who sold the world
*Look, there's Personality Plus - A.K.A. Touchy-Feely Guy
*Nabisco!...ding!
*Make the bad man stop!
*The Never-Ending Story: The Final Chapter
*Weekend at Chuckie's!
*cyberwhore
*Krappie the Jap Frog
*Hey! Fuck yon buddy!
*Soi day Rijvew?
*Se habla Yiddish?
*Where will Laymee go when he dies?! He won't go to heaven where the angels fly. He'll go to a lake of burgers and fries. He'll eat everything from spaghetti to pie. I know Laymee and he aint too thin. And when he breathes, you think he's dyin'. One day he ate a little more than he could stand. That's why he was sent to Fatboy-Land. Where will Laymee go when he dies?! He won't go to heaven where the angels fly. He'll go to a lake of burgers and fries. He'll eat everything from spaghetti to pie. He eats so much, it makes us ralph. He looks a lot like an overstuffed Alf........(Nirvana, Lake of Fire)
*1-800-GO-JE$U$ (I Believe)
*Freaks in Bunland
*Buns in Freakland
*Hey, c'mere......LICK ME!!!
*The Gimp Master
*DAAAAMN, Dawg! Why you gotta dis yo' mama like that?
*My, what an exceptionally large wallet you have....
*Someboy peed in your gene pool.
*"When i watch tv and see all those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
*Hey, fuck you mang!
*I ryd thi bloo buss?
*plez laf at mee and cal mei nayms, plez git yer plezur frum mi payn.
*porn.star
*"Fat boys, fat boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they run out of food?"
*A shlong, shlong time ago, I can still remember how those twinkies used to make him smile, and I knew if I had my chance, that I could find him bigger pants, and maybe we'd be happy for a while. But diet camp made him shiver, the sight of tofu made him quiver, he's bad news on my doorstep, he wouldn't take one more step. I can't remember if I cried, when he told me that he wanted a bride, but something touched him deep inside, the day the bacon fried. (chorus) So bye bye you ugly fat guy, tried to throw you off the levee but I thought I might die. With your two only friends, you call cupcakes and pie, singin' this'll be the day that we fry.
*I wish you weren't a WEINER!
*"Hi." "Umm....hello." "My mother died!" "Uhh, that's a shame..."
*Lick me where I pee!
*Eat me.
*I wish you weren't a PENI!
*Hold up! Wait a minute! Don't go there, cause I aint with it! Eenie, meanie, miney, mo, we came to let you know. 24-case on the go.Yeah, we got yo' ho!
*What!? I cunt hear you. I have an ear infucktion. I'm going to go to the dicktor and see if he can finger it out.
*"What you want?" "Baby, I got it." "What you need?" "I wish I had it!"
*You want me to kick you where?
*Your what hurts cause you're retarded?
*Let's watch the whore movie...again!
*You aint nothing but a little ho.
*I wish you weren't a fucking moron.
*You don't have to front on me, Bitch. Don't be afraid, it's only a dick.
*Kill Whitey.
*You aren't a hoe...you're a hoe-wannabe...and that, hon, makes you a dicktease.
*Man, they gots people in here for choppin up they damn mama.
*Pizza Slut: Eat Out With Us
*S.O.T.H.'s Out to Cheer - Soths are chicks who love to flirt, but when this is published, their names will be dirt. Soths love to cheer and jump, but later they will find someone to hump. Soths wear makeup by the ton, trying to make boy's hearts be won. Pink, green, black and blue - pound after pound of globby goo..makeup has come to Ridgeview! It didn't come quietly, without a sound, it came with shovels and trowels abound! Normal chicks puke, and plan to kill Soths with nukes. Soths fall down, Soths make mess..they really need a longer dress. Soths yell loud, Soths jump high, the gun is loaded, now Soths must die!
*"Hey, jyooeetyet?" "Naw, djoo?" "Naw, yauntto?" "Aite"
*Well!
*Yase.
*Welcome to my world, Nigga.
*Eduardo Benaducci
*Oh, that makes me giggle.
*"Hello! Are you full of malice and hatred?" "Why yes, yes I am!" "Super! Then we have just the book for you! This 5x7 inch little astroturf wonder can take your spite and turn it into something good. As we have a monopoly on these books, since no one else wanted them, you can own your very own turf book for just 4 easy payments of just $59.99.
*Hop in the shagin wagon!
*Eye luv cookeese. thar good to mee. Mom maks them for me al the tim. Yuom! Yuom!
*At Halloween, I say screw bobbing for plain old apples, I bob for apple puckers!
*Baked lay? Wavy lay? "The Works" lay? Home-made lay? Lay of any kind?
*Pet your dog, not your date.
*Cost free, delicious food of the sea!
*Tar Babies!!!
*Oh No! I've been bunned down!
*Who's retarded? I do, I do!
*That is one sweet mochila!
*"Only Wanna Be A Jew", by Bootie and the Hofish
*One-buttcheek Ted learns the hard way never to pass out in a prison yard.
*Dermot! What is all this shite!? Who has a feckin favorite color anyway? I'll tell you what me favorite color is...me favorite color is bollocks!
*FEESH! FUCK OFF!
*Hey, Ratboy, quit chewin on the wall!"
*pagina setenta y dos y quatro y seite-dos
*Excuse me!! My body is not your pleasure pole!
*Life's a bitch and then you die. Fuck the world, let's get high.
*I can't say as I think much of that.
*That's when I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things!
*Yank my fuckin' chain.
*Mr. Kellar, cleanup on aisle 3!
*Ooohhh, Shiny!!
*"You don't hafta spend your life addicted to smack, homeless on the street, givin' hand jobs for crack!"
*After a while, you just keep walking.
*Speak loudly and carry a big ass stick
*Have an ice cold Bud-Sprite
*Carro de policias!
*Se habla Yiddish?
*Get frosted.
*It's weedalicious.
*Gonorabs and Crabhorrhea
*Barbie-Wan-Kenobi and the Malibu Death Star
*Krappi the Jap Frog
*Tipping the scales on the Ho-ometer.
*The Spice Rack '99 : Old Spice..Fat Spice...Fahking Sheet Spice..Leprechaun Spice..Man Spice..Short Spice..Greasy Spice...Feckin We Todd Did Spice..Leg of Spice..Dick Spice..Saggy Spice..Weedtastic Spice..Mono Spice..Dog Spice...Tequila Spice...Mountain Man Spice..Stoopid Spice..Feckin Oogly Spice...Snell Spice..Weedalicious Spice...Old Lady Boobs Spice..
*"Can I get you something to drink?"...."Umm..do you have anything meat-flavored??"
*The only time Mike could ever get Amy's hands in his pants was if she was tryin to steal somethin from him.
*"This smells funny.." ....."Shut up and Eat It!"
*Extreme Camping
*Casey is a drunken bitch
*"I'm from Bristol." .."Oh, I know where that is."...."Roiiiiight..well uh..why don't you just put my hat in the bag now."
*Suppository, the Siberian Husky
*Blinddeadpiggieness
*"Eeew! That's nasty!"......"Don't go down there."
*"When you look as good as me, you can afford to be picky."
just as a note to everyone - despite some of the remarks in this book, i have no intention of killing anyone, despite society's urge to question anyone with independent thoughts!