I SAW MYSELF - Todd & Rebecca
Powell having gone over the edge is found out to be the serial hospital rapist and started believing he was Todd. This scene takes place almost immediately after Powell has held Todd at gunpoint and terrorized him. Rebecca comes into the room to see how he is. RH does not move a muscle in the entire scene except to turn his head. He sits on the edge of the bed with his hands folded neatly in his lap. He speaks slowly, softly, choosing each of his words carefully. Exposing yet another side of Todd we have never seen
.
REBECCA: I never asked you, are you okay? (sits next to him)
TODD: When Powell pointed that gun at me, I was the most scared I’ve ever been in my life. All I knew is that I wanted to live, and in that second, I saw myself, I saw how I think, what I did, or who I was, and I hated myself. I hated.....me. No one else, just me. And then Powell started saying he wanted to be like me and that he was me and then he started acting like me and when he started treating me like I’ve always treated everyone else I felt...I felt like, who that was, that guy, he should die.
REBECCA: No...no stop it.
TODD: Powell opened something up inside me, this pit, this hole, and made me look inside. That’s kinda hard to explain.
REBECCA: You don’t have to explain. Cause I’ve seen the same empty place inside myself. And I hate it too.
TODD: No, you just can’t look away, can you? You just keep staring, right?
REBECCA: Todd what happens now....to us? What will we do now?
TODD: I feel like we both need some help and I don’t know from where or how but I feel like I need some time to sort thru all this stuff....alone. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’ve been really screwed up, you know?
REBECCA: Yeah, but Todd this wasn’t your fault.
TODD: (blankly) What?
REBECCA: I mean with Powell and what happened, you can’t blame yourself, how it ended, how Powell ended up, because I’m responsible.
TODD: (very quietly) No.
REBECCA: (she stands) Yeah, yeah it was me. I kept telling him that I loved him but I was always thinking about you. Because of me he almost killed you. He tried to, because I couldn’t face my own heart and I’m....so sorry. (with tears) Well, Todd, will I see you again?
TODD: (very quietly) I don’t know. I just don’t know, Rebecca.
Rebecca crosses to him gently puts his hair behind one ear and quietly leaves the room. Todd starts to break but pulls himself together, smiles and sighs.
