* Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
* Having a no smoking section in a restaurant is like having a no peeing section in a pool.
* There are three kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
* Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
* I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
* Mental Floss prevents moral decay!
* Be nice to your kids . . . they'll be the ones choosing your nursing home.
* Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
* There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is already full.
* I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
* Did you ever stop to think . . . and forget to start again?
* A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
* Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out.
* If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
* Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
* It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere
*BURP* So, what do you think? Hope your mind is full now. Don't talk with your mouth full. And keep your elbows off the table. Kids these days. You'd think they were raised in a barn.
