Miscellaneous Thoughts

What do you do when perfection is your goal, but the mark of imperfection leads to your very soul, and you are caught in the middle of this extreme push and pull, feeling empty and bewildered, wanting only to be whole.

Sometimes i wish i could dream my life away,
in dreams i can be what i want and imagine what i desire.
When i am awake, all seems hopeless,
i know i can never be, but in dreams,
i am.

Here i am, too sad to cry, too hurt to feel, too dead to die, too lost to pray, too tired to sigh, too alone to say goodbye.

I feel so damn old
yet know i am still young
I feel the urgency of an approaching end
yet know i have just begun
I feel the pain of an extreme loss
yet in so many ways I have won
Why can't i be content?
it is overwith and done.

I AM EVERYTHING and I AM NOTHING

Happiness is an illusion,
something sought but never found.
The reality is loneliness,
a wailing, mournful sound.

Show me someone who is content, and i will show you someone who is not alive maybe we retain our vitality by rejecting satisfaction, contentment.