~*Alexandra*~
I ran down the street, tears streaming down my face. The thought of what I had just seen made me sick to my stomach. How could they do this to me? My best friend and my boyfriend. When I got to the front door of my house Taylor was waiting for me. I ran past him. He chased after me, calling, "Alex, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Leave me alone!" I screamed, "I never want to see your face again!"
Taylor swallowed hard. "I...I...I, Alex, I'm so sorry." I just slammed the door in his face. I leaned back against the door, sliding to the ground with tears spilling out of my eyes. I blinked hard, and they ran down my cheeks. I hugged my knees , and buried my face in my hands. I could still hear him pounding on the door, begging for me to listen.
I stood up and shouted, "Taylor, leave me alone!"
"Alex, please, listen!"
"No Taylor, you listen! I know what I saw and you have absolutely no idea how much it hurts! Why didn't you just stab me through the heart and get it over with?!"
"I never meant to hurt you!"
"It's a little late for that Taylor, now please leave!" I ran up the stairs, then paused at the landing, looking down at the door. Silence.
Then I heard Taylor's voice say weakly, "Does this mean you want to break up with me?"
"I don't know what this means. Damn it, I loved you Taylor!"
"But I still love you!" he yelled.
"You know what Taylor? For some reason, I don't know if I believe you. When you love someone, you wouldn't even think about doing something like this to them!"
"But Alex, that's the point! I wasn't thinking!"
"Goodbye Taylor."
"Alex! Wait!" he begged, and I could see him jumping up, trying to peer into the small window at the top of the door.
I ran up the second flight of stairs, then threw myself down on my bed, sobbing. Ten minutes later the phone rang. "Alex, I'm so sorry, please listen to me!"
"Taylor, I have nothing to say to you." I hung up. A second later the phone rang again.
"Alex, I love you--" I slammed the phone down. Again the phone rang.
"Taylor, leave me alone!" I said.
"Hello...would you be interested in buying---"
"NO!!!!!" I screamed, then I hung up again, infuriated and mentally swearing at those stupid phone salespeople. Once more, the phone rang.
"Taylor, I'm not going to forgive you!" I said.
"This isn't Taylor. It's Jenn. Alex, Taylor told me what happened, and I'm really sorry that you had to see that. It didn't mean anything. I'm so sorry...it's just what happened with Ike...I got so caught up in the moment. I wasn't looking to Taylor to kiss him, I was looking to him for support and comfort, and he happened to be the one that was there. It could've been a monkey there, but it would've been something."
"But would you have kissed the monkey?" I argued.
"No, but......oh I don't know.....I'm just so sorry and I feel so awful about it---"
"Well you damn well better feel awful!" I interrupted.
"Taylor was there, I didn't mean to kiss him...please don't blame him..." she said.
"It takes two to kiss, so I'm blaming both of you," I told her.
"Well, I'm sorry, I was just at such a low point and---"
"That gives you no reason to go and kiss my boyfriend. First you sleep with your boyfriend, then you kiss mine. Well you know what else you can kiss? My ass! How could you have been such a bitch?" I told her coldly.
My harsh words hung in the silence and caught her off-guard. Then she sighed, "You're absolutely right, Alex, I had no reason to do that and it was totally wrong of both me and him to do so, and I understand if you don't want to forgive me."
"I don't intend to," I informed her. Then she told me about what happened with what Rachel told her, and what she had said to Ike, and how Tay was the only one there for her. I felt bad for her, but I didn't let that tiny bit of sympathy block out what she had done to me. That was no excuse for kissing MY boyfriend.
I had to find out something else though. "Jenn, did you feel anything when you kissed him? You know...any attraction?"
"No, I didn't feel anything, and I this made me realize how much I love Ike and how what we have is so much more special and it's not worth one stupid kiss," she explained quietly.
I hung up on her, still angry. I then called Taylor. "Tay?"
"Alex?" He sounded overjoyed that I had called him. He also sounded like he had been crying. I asked him the same question I had asked Jenn.
"Taylor, when you kissed Jenn did you feel anything special?"
"No! It was nothing like kissing you. I don't want to throw away what we have. I love you too much for that. And that kiss didn't mean anything to me, I swear," he told me in a pleading tone."
"Tay...?" I asked.
"Yeah?"
"Please don't do things like that anymore," I said.
"I won't, don't worry, I promise I won't," said Tay, and he thought happily, yes...she sounds about ready to make up with me and forgive me, I feel so bad, but did I feel something when I kissed Jenn? I don't know....no....I love Alex...I think she's gonna take me back now...
"Good, I'm glad to know that you won't do that to any of your future girlfriends."
"What?!" he exclaimed, "I want you to be my future girlfriend!"
"Taylor, if we ever do get back together--"
"What do you mean--if?" he said, confusedly.
"Tay, I don't think I could handle it if this ever happened again, so I don't know if I could trust you if we were together, so I think that we.....just shouldn't be together...as a couple. I'm just not ready to forgive you for something like this," I said, trying to sound assertive, when inside I was crumbling.
"I.....I understand, I just want you to know that I'm sorry," he said sadly.
"Bye Taylor," I said.
"Wait---Alex?"
"What?"
"I love y-"
I hung up. I didn't want to hear those three words come out of his mouth, not now. They weren't genuine after what he had done. Maybe he had never really loved me.....I just can't forgive him.....
**********************************************************
Ike released the mute button and put down the phone. He didn't usually listen in on Tay's phone calls, but this one had sounded particularly interesting from the way Taylor sat by the phone, waiting for a call, and how he sounded ecstatic when he picked up. But at first, he didn't believe what he had heard. Jenn was mad at him for no reason, then Tay and Jenn kissed, as he had hear on the phone. Then he figured it out. Jenn was going out with Tay behind his back. How could I have been so ignorant? That made sense.
She wanted to be with Tay so she picked a fight with me to get me to break up with her...what was it about? Rachel? Who's that? My own brother and my girlfriend...those backstabbers!
All The Way To Albertane
You Are My Hope
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