September 1999 Entries

WEDNESDAY 1 SEPTEMBER 1999
20:21
Okay! Okay! Another huge delay in entries. I'm sorry to those of you who actually enjoy reading this diary (there can't be that many of you) Hmm never mind. Anyway! Quite a lot of news actually! I got my Leaving Cert results finally - dun dun DUN! I did okay actually, better than I thought I'd do. I got a B1 in Irish, C2's in English and Maths, C1's in Geography, Home Ec and Music, and a D1 in French. I PASSED FRENCH!! Oh my god. That was the shock of the century. Hmm. I'm getting my English papers remarked though probably because I know I got higher than a C2. Anyway! Yeah so I got them on August 18th...then the weekend after I went to stay with Shane for 2 days...I'm not going to say anything about it because it's really none of any of your business what happened (*miaw!* am I in a bitchy mood today or what) But I did have a very good time there. I'm drinking tea at the moment, I think I'm addicted. I got back from England yesterday, I stayed a week there and I drank so much tea there. I am a tea addict. Oh dear. I'm in a very strange mood today indeed. Hmm yeah anyway! I was in England for Reading festival, which was fantastic! I had a really good time there. Saw loads of bands, got hardly any sleep, got sunburnt, put up with not having a shower and wearing almost the same clothes for several days, MET PETE VUCKOVIC, a very good weekend indeed! :) Mmmm...tea. Mmm...Pete Vuckovic...wow he's even a million times better looking in real life, if that's in any way humanly possible. He's incredible. I took loads of photos of him but they'll probably all come out really fuzzy because my hands were so shaky holding the camera because I was so nervous meeting him. The poor man. It can't be easy having psychopathic fans like myself. Meeting that god was probably one of the main highlights of the weekend. The other highlights were seeing Blur (my fourth time seeing them actually) and My Ruin (That goddess Tairrie B's new band) playing, they were incredible. I was right in the front row for My Ruin and I'm sure that Tairrie looked at me, I'm probably imagining things though. I had another mad fan of hers standing next to me and I was talking to him, he was a dote. He actually met Tairrie before. Lucky moo. I took loads of photos of them too, they were just so good!! My favourite song at the moment is their cover version of "Tainted Love", it's amazing. I bought their album at Reading festival, the 2 other best songs on it are "Monster" and "Terror". Other minor highlights of the festival were the Offspring and Terrorvision. I'm sunburnt! Grr! My arms were bright red on Sunday and EXTREMELY sore, and my nose and even the top of my fucking head. My head is okay now, my nose is red and peeling and still a bit sore, and my arms are actually kinda brown now. My mother says I'm very brown. Yeah right. Actually before I met Pete (I met Pete!!) a photographer from Melody Maker (I think) took a photo of me for some reason. Hmm. I could be in Melody Maker. Oh the joy of it all. I probably won't be though. Ho hum. My old school apparently reopened yesterday, it's so strange not going back there. I keep thinking that I should be there. It's very odd. Very cool though. I haven't a clue when I have to start college, I should be getting a letter about when the registration day is and when the course actually starts and shit. I'm getting very nervous about it but kinda looking forward to it at the same time. I just hope it'll be better than school. I don't think I could handle it if there are the same type of people there as there were in school. The main reason I hated school was the people, to be honest. I hated everyone there. Well, most people. According to Rebecca, a fella who was in my year is doing the exact same course as me! At least I'll know someone at the college...same course too! Ironically enough I used to have a great big crush on the poor guy, he actually looks like Billy Corgan. Hmm. My CD player in my room has died on me. Oh dear. It's my own fault really, the day before I went to England I got angry and gave it an almighty thump, and (surprisingly enough) it doesn't work now. Oh dear. I'm listening to My Ruin "Tainted Love" now. Do any of you know this song, or the original? It's a classic song. I love it! Hehe :) I've always loved the original version actually. I know it was released around the same time I was born actually. "Sometimes I feel I've got to run away, I've to get away from the pain you drive into the heart of me, the love we share seems to go nowhere. And I lost my life, for I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night. Once I ran to you, now I'll run from you. This tainted love you're giving, I give you all a girl could give you, take my tears and that's not nearly all...tainted love...don't touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so, now it's time you pack your things and go..." I dedicate that song to a certain male. Oh dear. Actually I probably dedicate it to all my past boyfriends. I'm finally getting contact lenses so that I can see. I do have glasses but I hate them so I only wear them for TV and at the computer. Rather silly of me really, because my eyesight is dreadful, really really bad! Oh dear. I went to the optician a couple of weeks ago to try a pair. A very embarrassing moment that was. He put them into my eyes and said just to leave them in and get used to them for a while. Then he said to get up and walk around. I ended up fainting. It was very embarrassing. Apparantly it's a very big psychological thing getting contacts first because the eye is very sensitive and blah blah blah, apparantly I'm not the first to faint at that, which is probably the only good side of that. 2 days later I went back to get them put in again and I wore them for about 4 hours, I managed to not faint this time! :) It was pretty cool actually, a total novelty being able to see clearly with no glasses on! Hmm. I've to go back again now to learn how to put them in myself, can't say I'm really looking forward to that. Oh wow I've just had dejavu! Wow. Never mind. I should stop typing now. I'm just saying really silly things now. I'm getting my hair chopped soon. I think "chopped" was the wrong word there. I dunno really, I can't even describe the style I want but I'm going to get it done soon, probably next week sometime. I shall go now. The torture ends for you readers! Bye.

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 19 1999
17:50pm
Hello once again. So what's been happening in my wonderful life lately, I hear you all ask? Well, nothing at all exciting AT ALL (surprise surprise). I can't even remember the last time I did an entry, I know it was sometime at the start of September anyway. By the way I'm doing this offline, on Microsoft Word at the moment. Ho hum. I had a cold the week before last, which I'd been moaning about to everyone. My nose is still sore from it. Stupid colds. Anywho the only major thing happening is that my wonderful boyfriend managed to hack into my computer. But at least he had the heart to fix it that nobody else can except him. Well, that's some consolation I guess. *Sigh*. I've been hunting for MP3's everywhere on the net that will actually work on my computer, so far I've found a grand total of one MP3 that actually worked. A wonderful WONDERFUL song by the amazing Smashing Pumpkins called "Under Your Spell", it's a demo from 1988. It's fantastic and I love it :) Okay well actually I have 3 MP3's altogether, Shane sent me 2 Radiohead ones. Anywho. I start college tomorrow and I'm dreading it. I don't know anyone there!! I'm so nervous. Well, I do know one person there who's doing the exact same course as me (he was in my year in school actually!) but he'll probably ignore me. Ho hum. Well, tomorrow's just for an hour to meet the teachers and shit. Then I start properly on Wednesday. I just want to get the first week over with. I'm so nervous, I'm just really worried that I'll be a total loner or have lousy friends and really annoying people around me constantly, like school was :( "Under Your Spell" is on now :) I loooooooove this song! Hehe :) The Simpsons will be on in a sec. Okay they're on now actually. Lala. I really don't have a lot else to say at the moment. Oh dear. I have no life. I don't even know why I *keep* a diary, there's no point! Ho hum. I'll update this again next weekend if I remember, hmmmm hopefully I'll have a bit to talk about because I'll have started college. Hmm. Okay bye.

SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 25 1999
21:30
Hey, well the biggest news of the moment is the terrible breakup of me and Shane...I knew it was coming. I knew he couldn't stick me for long. Oh well. He's also getting rid of the net so I can't talk to him anymore but hopefully we can stay in touch because I really don't want to lose him altogether...I'm not going to lie, I was devastated when it happened but I'm getting over it now. Well, trying to anyway. College doesn't start until Monday. I'm extremely nervous about it! Oh dear. I went in last Monday for an induction day thingey. It was alright, except that I got a fucking assignment to do already. But it was just an essay, nothing I can't handle :) Hmm anyway! I really don't have anything else to report, nothing else has been happening. I think I'm addicted to caffeine and so I'm constantly really hyper lately. I'm probably driving everyone mad. I'm going nucking futs staying in this bloody house all bloody day so I suppose that's a good reason to look forward to college. On Monday I did notice there are less trendy fucks than at my old school though :) Yay! There are a couple of gothy/grungey/hippie types doing my course, which is pretty cool. All I have to do now is try and make some friends. I'm probably the world's worst person at making friends, I'm also the world's most difficult person to get along with so I'll probably end up being a total loner. Shite. Sooooo anyway! I really don't know what else I can say. I won't have anything to say now until after I've been in college for a while. I'm really dreading it actually. There are 900 people altogether in the fucking place! That's so fucking big! My primary school had about 200 in it, my stupid fucking secondary school had about 280, now I'm going to a college that has 900 in it! That's so big, well to me it is anyway! Shite shite shite. I don't really mind that as such, it'll just make it easier to avoid people that I'll take a disliking to, but it'll probably make it harder for me to make friends. Fucks sake. I have no idea where I'm supposed to go on Monday when I get there either. Oh dear. Dammit, I need English classes again, I keep making really stupid mistakes when I'm typing and writing lately. Shit. Eh, "I need English classes again"? In the words of Lisa Simpson: "God, I'm delirious!". I should fuck off and leave everyone alone now. I hate Britney Spears. I realised today that she's my most hated person in the world. Do any of you out there know the song "Popular" by Nada Surf? Ahh you should do, it's a great song. Any of you who have been hurt by a mean boyfriend/girlfriend can relate to it. I'm rather bored so I'm going to put all the lyrics in here now. They're very appropriate for the way I'm feeling lately.
3 important rules for breaking up: don't put off breaking up when you know you want to. Prolonging the situation only makes it worse. Tell him honestly, simply, kindly but firmly. Don't make a big production. Don't make up an elaborate story. This will help you avoid a big tear-jerking scene. If you want to date other people, say so. Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected. Even if you've gone together for only a short time and haven't been too serious, there's still a feeling of rejection when someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company. But if you're honest and direct, and avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news, the boy will respect you for your frankness. And honestly, he'll appreciate the straightforward manner in which you told him your decision. Unless he's a big jerk or a crybaby, you'll be friends.
I'm head of the class (I'm popular)
I'm a quarterback (I'm popular)
My mom says I'm a catch (I'm popular)
I'm never last picked
I've got a cheerleading chick.
Being attractive is the most important thing there is. If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny-football-hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him you liked his article in the newspaper.
I'm the party star (I'm popular)
I've got my own car (I'm popular)
I never get caught (I'm popular)
I make football beds
I'm the teacher's pet.
I propose to support a one-month limit on going steady. I think it would keep people more able to deal with weird situations, and get to know more people. I think that if you're ready to go out with Johnny, now is the time to tell him about your one-month limit. He won't mind. He'll appreciate your fresh look on dating. And once you've dated someone else, you can date him again. I'm sure he'll like it, everyone will appreciate it. You're so novel - what a good idea. You can keep your time to yourself. You don't need date assurance. You can go out with whoever you want to. Every boy! Every boy in the whole world could be yours! If you'll just listen to my plan, the teenage guide to popularity!...
I'm head of the class (I'm popular)
I'm the quarterback (I'm popular)
My mom says I'm a catch (I'm popular)
I'm never last picked.
I'm a cheerleading chick.
I'm the party star (I'm popular)
I've got my own car (I'm popular)
I'll never get caught (I'm popular)
I'm the teacher's pet.
I make football beds...
Okay it's a lot more effective when you're listening to it, it's really sarcastic and bitter and just fantastic :) Well, bye!

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