Don't go to Elysiums with Weapons bans,
Sure it feels safe inside,
But what about all those Anarchs waiting outside with guns,
They know you ain't got one.
If a kindred tells you she's a Elder,
And she looks like a ancilla,
She's a neonate.
If she tells you she's a neonate,
And looks like a neonate,
She's a damn Methuselah,
Take off that silly ass cape.
We couldn't have possibly committed all of those crimes,
The Giovanni did all of that shit.
Young Brujah,
If you go to a movie theater,
And someone steps on your foot,
Let it slide.
Why spend eternity staked,
Cause someone smuged your combat boots?
Diablerie,
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
No matter what you think of what I am saying,
Remember this one thing:
There is no sex in the Chantry House.
No sex in the Chantry House.
No sex in the Chantry House.
No sex in the Chantry House.
No sex in the Chantry House.
No sex in the Chantry House.
No sex in the Chantry House.
Absolutely, positively, no sex in the Chantry House.
If a Malkavian has a fuzzy bunny suit,
He has been Malkavian that long.
A real Malkavian is too crazy to be fuzzy.
If you are in a room alone with a Tremere,
He will probably suck your soul.
If you are in a room alone with a Assimite,
He will probably suck your soul.
Here's a horoscope for everyone:
Ravanos,
Your gonna Die.
Assimite,
Your gonna Die.
Salubri,
Your gonna die, twice.
Ventrue,
Your gonna Die.
Tzmizce,
You are gonna die horribly.
No one goes to the Nos for beauty tips.
If you are headed for Vienna for 4 months,
And you are riding freight,
instead of first class,
You have not been a good Tremere.
Some of the things I have said may not apply to you.
Some of the things I have said may offend you.
But no matter who embraced you,
You must remember this one thing:
No matter what the Regent says,
There is no sex in the Chantry House.
There is no sex in the Chantry House.
There is no sex in the Chantry House.
There is no sex in the Chantry House.
There is no sex in the Chantry House.
There is no sex in the Chantry House.
Can't get none.
Can't have none at all.
Chantry House.
Said there's Absolutely, positively,
no sex in the Chantry House.
Said no.
Said no.
By Brad Kinzel, Matt Lufcy, and Aaron Macke
