BEN: "Admiration is for poets and dairy cows, Bobby."
LANA: "Are you the sherrif?" HAWK: "Let's just say when something really big goes down, I'm the man."
PETE: (to Catherine) "Wine comes in at the mouth, love comes in at the eye, I touch my glass to my lips, I look at you and sigh."
DENISE: "Coop, I may be wearing a dress, but I still put my panties on one leg at a time, if you know what I mean." COOP: "Not really . . ."
BETTY: (to Garland) "Is everything all right?" BRIGGS: "No, dear. Not exactly."
HARRY: (to Coop) "Consider yourself deputized. The Bureau's loss is my gain."
HANK: (upon discovering Ed and Norma's affair)"Oh, Ed. The things we do for love."
COOP: "Quick thinking, Denise!" DENISE: "It was just my legs. Thank Sherrif Truman. It was his idea." COOP: "Harry J. Truman." HARRY: "Well, sometimes you gotta improvise."
EPISODE TWENTY ONE
LUCY: (to Andy and Dick) "If you two think for one second that I'll believe that a defenseless little orphan is capable of murder--the both of you aren't fit to be fathers to a chimp! I'm gonna get to the bottom of this right away."
DOC HAYWARD: (regarding Nadine) "Is she sexually active?" ED: "Active? Doc, I wake up every morning feeling like I've been hit by a timber truck." DOC: "It's the extra adrenaline." ED: "It's downright dangerous."
COOP: "Windom Earle's mind is like a diamond. It's cold and hard and brilliant . . .You don't know what he's capable of, Harry. You don't know."
EPISODE TWENTY TWO
ALBERT: (to Bobby) "Get a life, punk!"
ALBERT: (to Coop) "Replacing the quiet elegance of the dark suit and tie with the casual indifference of these muted earth tones--it's a form of fashion suicide. But, uh, call me crazy--on you it works." COOP: "Thanks, Albert."
PETE: "The only words I know in Hungarian are paprika and goulash."
EPISODE TWENTY THREE
COOP: "Harry, if Windom wanted to kill me, I'd already be dead."
LUCY: "Paper and Pete. Got it. I'll do it alphabetically."
NOTES FROM WINDOM TO GIRLS: "Save the one you love. Please attend gathering of angels tonight at the Roadhouse 9:30."
BOB: (evil laughter) "Coop, what happened to Josie?"
EPISODE TWENTY FOUR
NORMA: "How did you and Mom get along?" ANNIE: "Well, we could talk about her or we could feel good about things. I vote for plan B."
HAWK: "Maybe we'd better just whistle on our way past the graveyard."
NADINE: "I think I've gone blind in my left eye!"
EPISODE TWENTY FIVE
AUDREY: (to Jack Wheeler) "And if you bring a hammer, you'd better bring some nails too."
DOC: "The bonsai. The ultimate miniature." COOP: "Bicarbonate of soda. The ultimate digestive aid."
COOP: (to a hungover Harry on Cole's arrival) "Brace yourself, Harry."
COLE: "The word linkage reminds me of sausage. Never cared much for the links. Preferred the patties."
EPISODE TWENTY SIX
PETE: "I think that I shall never see a girl as lovely as Josie; When she walks into a room, the flowers all stood up to . . .room, doom, fume, gloom . . .I think that I shall never see a girl as lovely as Josie; When she walks into a room, the flowers were all a'bloom . . .Oh, Josie. (sobs) CATHERINE: "Oh, stop your incessant moping! Give me a hand with this damned box!"
COOP: "How wonderful!" ANNIE: "What?" COOP: "When I talk to you, I get a tingling sensation in my toes and in my stomach." ANNIE: "Interesting." COOP: "I don't think it has anything to do with coffee." ANNIE: "I'll get those donuts."
BEN: "Sometimes the urge to do bad is nearly overpowering."
EPISODE TWENTY SEVEN
COOP: "Annie, there's a whole world out there. Jump in. Hear the other side, see the other side." ANNIE: "St. Augustine. Coffee?"
ANNIE: "What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning." COOP: "Heisenberg."
PETE: "Audrey, there are many cures for a broken heart, but nothing quite like a trout's leap in the moonlight. May I?" AUDREY: "You may."
EPISODE TWENTY EIGHT
WINDOM: (to Leo upon hanging a basket of spiders above him which he's holding by a rope in his mouth) "I have a new game for you . . ."
BEN: "Audrey. The most intelligent face I have seen all day. You make the rest of us look like primates."
AUDREY: "Daddy. From the bottom of my heart, I don't want to be the town bathing beauty."
WINDOM: "I haven't been this excited since I puntured Caroline's aorta."
EPISODE TWENTY NINE
PETE: "King Arthur's buried in England . . .last I heard anyway."
WINDOM: "I tell you they have not died . . .their hands clasp yours and mine."
SHELLY: (to Heidi) "Too busy jump starting the old man . . ."BOBBY AND SHELLEY: "Again!"
LMFAP: "When you see me again, it won't be me. This is the waiting room. Would you like some coffee? Some of your friends are here."
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