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In Loving Memory
of
Jerry Wayne Baum


July 03, 1976 - July 13, 2006


Jerry is my brother. I miss him more than words can say. Jerry was the other part of me. As kids we did everything together. We dug holes in the snow and the dirt. We went sledding down the same hills and even though we fought ALL the time we were very close.

Losing Jerry has been hard on us all and it is impossible to express the loss. I have written a couple of poems for Jerry that I will show you further down the page. The first one I read (or really, tried to read) at his Memorial.

I wanted to make this page to honor Jerry the same way I chose to honor him forever on my skin:

The tattoo shows Jim Morrison because he was Jerry's "God"! Jerry idolized him and The Doors was Jerry's favorite band. In June of 2006 I got my first professional tattoo and Jerry liked it so much he stated he was ready to get his first tattoo but wasn't sure what to get. I said, "Well duh, you get Jim Morrison!" He liked the idea and decided he was going to save up to do that.
A month later he was gone, so I got the tattoo in his honor.
Jerry always wanted me to make him a website like mine but we never managed to get it done. This is my way of completing that for him.

These are the poems I wrote for Jerry.

My Truest Friend

I can’t believe you’re gone, it’s hard to believe it’s true,
And why you left us, we’ll never have a clue.

You were the other half of me,
And when I look around I can’t help but see.

I see where you last stood, I see where you last sat down,
Memories of you are all around.

You were the one person I could count on when everyone else failed,
You even saved me from myself when I knocked over that pail.

I don’t know how to get through the days without you by my side,
I don’t know how to show the things that you never let me hide.

Just know that I will love you until it’s time for my end,
And through it all, you were my truest friend.

July 14, 2006


My Message to You

I wake up and you’re still gone,
I don’t know how to move on.

The days go by so fast,
Three months ago should be in the past.

Yet everything about that day is still so clear,
And I still spend every day crying because you’re not here.

It’s hard to put all my feelings down on one page,
To express the guilt, the sorrow, and even the rage.

I wish I could somehow find a way to see and hear you say good-bye,
Maybe then I wouldn’t always have to cry.

So here is my message to you:
I love you, I miss you, and to say this directly there’s almost nothing I wouldn’t do.

October 03, 2006


Let Us See

Almost a year has gone by,
And everyone still cries.

I often wonder if you were there,
To see all the people who came to share.

I often wonder if you ever visit now,
I wish you could let me know some how.

We all make wishes like that,
But deep down we all know you’re not coming back.

Yet we still sometimes speak as if you can hear,
As if we somehow know that you’re near.

I really don’t know if that’s true,
All I really know is how much I miss you.

If you really can see us and hear what we say,
Then you already know we miss you every day.

That means it’s your turn to let us see,
That you miss us too, wherever you might be.

June 20, 2007


You'll Never Know

Five years have slipped on by,
Still I can’t let go no matter how hard I try.

My whole life, you were always by my side,
Now I feel as if my hands are tied.

I can’t hold you, but I can’t let you go,
And what hurts the most is, you’ll never know.

You’ll never know how hard it’s been for me,
How hard it will forever be.

You’ll never know how much we love and miss you,
And on this day, I never know what to do.

Do I cry out from all the pain,
Or do I rejoice in the memories that remain?

They say it gets better with time,
But it’s not true, you never leave my mind.

So I put on a fake smile and try not to show,
The pain and the love that you’ll never know.

July 13, 2011


Merry Christmas

Yesterday I cried,
Another holiday without you by my side.

I miss you all the time,
Always there's a piece of me I cannot find.

It's now gone, no matter what I do,
Because that piece went with you.

I miss it the most on these holidays,
That's when the pain seeps through anyway.

But we remember you and try to smile,
Sharing stories of you for a while.

So that even though we will always be sad,
We can make sure a Merry Christmas can still be had.

December 24, 2011

Here are some photos of Jerry


Jerry and 4 of his 5 children.

Sean, Jerry, Cameron & Alexander

Kyle & Jerry



Jerry and Mom | Jerry & Michael (Our Brother) | Jerry and Me



Jerry at My Daughter's Birthday Party (holding the camcorder).




Jerry's first time in the ocean :)

I hope you enjoyed this page.
Again, it is a tribute to someone who meant a great deal to me and to my family too.
Jerry, wherever you are, if you can still sense what goes on here, I hope you like this. I love you and I miss you!!