~*Families Can be together Forever*~
I have a family here on earth
They are so good to me.
I want to share my life with them
though all eternity
Chorus:
Families can be together forever
Through Heav'nly Father's plan.
I want to be with my own family
And the Lord has shown me how I can,
The Lord has shown me how I can
second verse:
While I am in my early years
I prepare most carefully
So I can marry in God's temple for eternity.
Text: Ruth M. Garndner
music: Vanja Y Watkins
~*Stake Conference Talk September 1999*~
By Diane (Ducky) Winters
The Proclamation to the Family speaks not only to the Church but directly
to the world of those things pertaining to the family. Through inspiration,
words of direction and guidance are given to the world, and also words of
warning if they are not heeded. The importance of the family is stressed
and those things which we must do and those things which we must not neglect
to do are included. The family is the most vital and central organization
of not only the church but of society in general. The family was ordained
to be that before we ever came to earth. The first family here on earth
began with Adam and Eve and as they were given the commandment to multiply
and replenish the earth, so began the rest of the human family…But we
did not have our beginnings there. We are of divine nature. We are all literally
the spiritual sons and daughters of God. We have a Father and a Mother in
Heaven who love us and care deeply about us as their children and who want
very much for us to have success while we are here upon this earth. They
knew that we would have to live by true principles and obey divine laws in
order to grow and learn and to find true happiness while we are here. And
although a veil of forgetfulnees was put over our minds when we came to earth
and started this mortal existance our Father in Heaven had presented a plan
to us and we accepted that plan and covenanted there that we would come here
and that we would learn about that plan, and to help others to learn about
his plan also. Families were a vital part of that plan for us to grow
and learn and to become someday like our Father and Mother in Heaven and
return to live in their presence someday. President David O Mckay
a former prophet stated that "NO other success can compensate for failure
in the home." I guess what that translates as is this: Nothing we do in this
life can compensate for lack of time, for lack of love, for lack of teaching
and preparing our families to live in eternity. Nothing! The family
is under attack today more than ever and we cannot stand idly by while Satan
puts forth a full scale attack on it. If he is working so hard to destroy
it, we need to be working twice as hard to combat those things which can
bring destruction to our families. In the Proclamation, the first
Presidency brings up many points which are very important and vital for us
to know and warnings that we must heed or we will pay a heavy price if we
do not listen and heed the words of living prophets. They are inspired words.
They remind us of who we are, of where we come from, of our divine
and eternal nature. They remind us that marriage is ordained of God, and
is between a man and a woman. We are reminded that marriage is sacred
and that the children who come into this world have a divine right to be
born into a family with a father and a mother who are legally and lawfully
married. We are also reminded that the powers of procreation are sacred
and that they belong "only" between a man and a woman who are legally and
lawfully married. We are reminded of the importance of living the law
of chastity. Being chaste means keeping ourselves clean not only in deed,
but in thoughts and words. We need to keep ourselves in places where we will
not be faced with temptations that may overwhelm us. There is no doubt in
my mind, that if I were to go to a place where evil dwells and I keep going
back, eventually,it doesn't matter how how strong I may feel, I will eventually
fall if I continue. The Lord understands this about all of us. That is why
he urges us to keep ourselves unspotted from the world. We need to
stand in holy places and Those holy places can be our homes, our churches,
and other places where the spirit of the Lord can dwell and be with us. And
we also need to keep our thoughts pure and clean. We can't allow impure thoughts
to stay, not even for a short visit. We don't have a lot of control over
what suddenly jumps into our mind, because certainly the adversary is there
to whisper to us, but we sure have the power to take care of it from there.
Thoughts are very powerful things. And if we look at all the sin that is
committed, it didn't take place without it being thought about first. The
adversary has been deceiving people for a long, long time. We must
not think that we can outsmart him by playing his game. We must not
allow ourselves to be deceived into thinking that we can put ourselves in
situations where temptation will continue to bombard us and believe we can
escape it untouched. We can't always know when temptation will be thrown
at us. But we sure don't need to go out and look for it either. Our chances
of overcoming are a lot greater if we aren't out seeking for it or allowing
ourselves to be put in situations that are not good. We are also given
a warning voice that should we violate this law of chastity we will suffer
great consequences for doing so. Those who have suffered such pain could
tell you just how deep those consequences are and just how far reaching they
become. Of course we can be forgiven thru repentance and can feel the
powerful affect of the atonement of Jesus Christ. But that relief sometimes
does not come without a lot of pain and heartache. Better to not have to
experience such things at all than to have to go thru the consequences of
them. What a beautiful thing for a young couple who have lived the
law of chastity to be able to look thru pure eyes at each other from across
the altars of the temple and to give their vows of love and devotion To their
eternal companion. I hope that the Young people here will not settle for
any less than that. Don't be fooled by Satans clever plan to rob you of that
precious opportunity. He would like to deceive you and entice you into believing
that temporary pleasures will make you happy. What he doesn't tell you is
how you will feel after. He doesn't tell you about the shame, the guilt,
the heartbreak and pain that will surely follow. If he did, he knows he could
never get you to be disobedient. Don't exchange diamonds for stones. Don't
exchange true happiness for a temporary pleasure that robs you of so much.
Present yourselves at the altar of the temple clean and pure and you
will never be happier and have more peace knowing you are right with God.
We are also reminded of the relationships that should exist between
a husband and a wife. As husbands and wives we need to love one another
and serve one another and treat each other with the greatest of care. It
has been said that the best thing a father can do for his children is to
love their mother. And I believe that the best thing a mother can do for
their children is love their fathers also. When I think personally of what
love translates as in a marriage here are a few things that come to my mind:
When a man loves his wife or wife loves her husband they will sacrifice for
each other, they will put the other person first, they will show respect
and genuine concern for the welfare of their spouse, they will strive to
be kind and considerate to each other. They will work towards being each
others "best friend" and be there for each other in times of trial or struggle.
It also means that they will forgive each other when they have been wronged
and that in turn they too will ask forgiveness when they have wronged the
other person. And in the gospel, they will do all they can to help
their spouse to be successful in whatever they are called to do. We attended
a temple marriage the first weekend of this month and during a reception
held for the couple the same evening some words of advice and wisdom were
exchanged with the bride and groom and written down by those married already
so that they could keep them and read them often. But there was one statement
that stood out to me and hit me more than all the rest and it was three simple
words and yet they came thru so powerfully. "Selfishness brings tears"
Those three words seem to say so much when it comes to marriage. We
need to learn to be unselfish. So much unhappiness stems back to that one
trait alone. We are also reminded that we have a responsibility as
we bring children into the world to love and care for them..Fathers have
the responsibility to support their families and see that the physical and
temporal needs of the family are met, along with teaching them and giving
them spiritual guidance. They are to preside over their family in love and
righteousness. ( Read Mosiah 4:14-15)
Mothers are reminded that their greatest responsibility lies in nurturing
their children and bringing them up in righteousness. Parents are equally
responsible to help each other in teaching their children the truths of the
gospel So that their children will "know how to choose good" and know the
difference between what is good and what is not. Their roles may differ,
but their responsibilities are very much equal. The roles of husbands and
wives have been so distorted by the world today, that there is so much confusion
Concerning our roles as parents. As Latter day Saints, we should be the least
confused of all if we are listening to the counsel and direction given to
us by living prophets. The counsel we have been given is clear, the
question is this: Are we listening and are we heeding? If husbands
and wives are competing for the same role or the same responsibilities, then
half the work that should be done in behalf of our children and family will
simply be neglected. We can't let that happen to us or our families. Satan
cleverly tries to undermine the roles, especially of mothers. He tries to
get them to believe that the things they do on a daily basis, as mundane
as they may seem at times are useless and not of worth. What a deception
that is. And we as mothers can't afford to be fooled by it. Can you
imagine what it would be like if all the members of the church wanted to
serve in the same calling and all at the same time? How much would be
accomplished if that were the case, and how fast would things progress in
the church. I don't think very fast. I personally cannot speak as a
father, because I have only been a mother, but as a mother, there is nothing
in this world, (and I love to do a lot of other things in my spare time,)
but nothing can surpass the satsifaction I have received by simply being
a mother. The rewards I have received, and sometimes they are slow in coming,
have been more joyous than anything else I could possibly do in this life.
Nothing can substitute for that. And without the support of a loving
and hard working husband, I know I would not be allowed to have that opportunity
to care for my children and be there for them as I have been able to do.
I couldn't possible do it without Richard doing his part.
The warning voice was also raised on the subject of abuse. Those
who abuse their spouse or who abuse their children or both, will stand
accountable before God for doing so. Abuse in any shape or form is not condoned
by the Lord. And he does not look lightly upon it. Abuse includes
physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse. Abuse would also include neglect
or indifference to our families. If we are guilty of any of these sins
we need to repent and we need to change. From personal experience I
can say that abuse is very damaging to those who must go thru it and those
who must view it. It has long lasting and sometimes very painful effects.
It leaves the abused with feelings of confusion, with a feeling of worthlessness,
with feelings that our homes are not necessarily a safe and good place to
be. They can leave the abused with scars that may take many, many years to
heal. And sometimes can leave the abused with a distorted thinking of how
the world really is, which may take years of relearning. The consequences
of such actions are more far reaching than many can even comprehend. And
if those who have been abused must suffer so much at the hand of their abusers,
what makes us think for a minute that those who abuse will escape the
consequences eventually of their acts. Is it any wonder that it was
brought out so strongly in the proclamation and with such a strong warning.
President Hinckley, made a statement in a recent conference talk that
the only rod that should ever be used with a child, is a fishing rod, and
that is so that you could take your child fishing. He made his point very
clear, I think. Our children are precious. They are not our possessions
that we may do with as we please. They are the sons and daughters of
God, and they are only on loan to us until we prove ourselves worthy to have
them for time and eternity. We need to love them, to nourish them with
the gospel, and safeguard them from evil. We need to praise more and criticize
less. We need to be patient with them as they learn and as they make mistakes.
The world is a cold place and so our homes need to be a haven of love and
security so that our children know that they have a place that they can feel
safe and accepted and loved. In fact during those times when they make mistakes
is the time when they need a parents love more than ever. Our homes
need to be a place of learning and especially the principles of the gospel.
We can't disregard the importance of our families and of teaching our
children the gospel. And that teaching will come more by our example than
by any other way. If we are doing those things that the Lord requires of
us and doing the best we can, our children will see our example, and they
will follow. And even if they stray off the path and find themselves going
full circle, eventually if we are standing firm in the faith of what we know
is right and true, at some point those children will know what to come back
to, when they find themselves wanting to return to the gospel. And in this
we need to remain hopeful for those of our children who have fallen off the
path. We can't afford to stand idly by and allow the adversary to subtley
and carefully chip away and one day have victory over our families. We can't
be complacent. If we truly love our families, we will do all in our power
to see that they are brought up "to know good" and to learn true principles.
Those principles lie in the gospel of Jesus Christ. They are principles
which will help us find true happiness and to build a sure foundation. I
am grateful for my wonderful husband, whom I love and adore and who I support
not only as my husband but as he serves as Bishop in our ward which is a
very time consuming and demanding calling and it hasn't always been easy.
But the blessings of doing so have outweighed any sacrifice. And as he has
served, Heavenly Father has blessed me with loving people and special friends
who seem to be there for me at his times of absence or when I get feeling
a bit discouraged, and they give me the strength to go on in his absence.
It helps me to know that the Lord is my third companion in this marriage
and that he truly loves me and cares about me. I am grateful for my six wonderful
children, who I love and who have given me so much joy and happiness and
am now anxious for the arrival of our first grandchild. I am grateful to
have the gospel of Jesus Christ which affords me the perfect pattern to live
by, so that I might have a sure foundation to build my life on and a guide
to teach my family. May we all look on our families for the true treasure
that they are and know the importance of loving them, and teaching them the
right way. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
