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THE CUP
In the blink of an eye all of my schedule was turned totally upside down. All appointments were cancelled, all plans were put on hold, all social engagements put off, even my job had to wait. It was one of those times in life where everything comes to a screeching halt. You hit a brick wall, you come to a sharp turn in the road, a twist of fate and sense that things are about to be forever changed. There is nothing you can do to stop the inevitability, there is nothing to say, no wiggle room - you just deal with it. Sometimes in life, you have little choice but to drink from the cup that has been placed upon your table - no matter how bitter or how sweet the taste.
My beloved mother-in-law "Bea" was dying. We had just received the bad news. She had only a few weeks left to live and she needed constant, round the clock care. We, in our small family, took turns staying by her side, trying our best to care for her needs and to comfort her.
The cancer had metastasized everywhere in her frail and fragile eighty-year-old body and she was now in such constant pain that the doctors, trying to keep her discomfort level to a minimum, kept her on a powerful drug called morphine. I remember in those last days just trying to get her to take a spoonful of liquid soup was futile. It just wouldn't go down anymore. She not only needed help with simple things like sipping water - she had reached a point where someone had to do everything for her - her body was failing and forcing her to surrender to being completely taken care of by others.
On one of those final few days, as we sat alone together in the hospital, she lifted her sunken eyes toward me and whispered "I want to go home." I will never forget the emotional and physical pain that consumed me as I had to look her in the eye and say, "Mom, you are not going home." And then with as much tenderness as I could possibly bring to words, I asked her, "Bea, do you know that you are dying?" She slowly turned her gaze away from me and for one brief moment broke into her old, self confident smile and said "I'm going home to be with God in heaven." She then made a peaceful sigh and drifted back off into her morphine sleep.
I just sat there in the stillness with her - holding her hand as she waited to die. We were completely solitude, totally alone together - just me, her, and God.
It was tough, walking this last road with her, watching her suffer and seeing her struggling at the hands of the cancer - it was as painful and as ugly as anything I had ever experienced - but it was something else too. Those last days with my dying mother-in-law were absolutely beautiful and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. As I look back now, in a strange way that I cannot put into words, walking that final road with her was one of the most wonderful and greatest privileges that I have ever had. It was a time when God took complete and absolute front and center stage in our lives. The faith, love and hope that grew and filled that hospital room was simply astonishing..., amazing..., astounding!
In the blink of an eye all of my schedule was turned totally upside down. All appointments were cancelled, all plans were put on hold, all social engagements put off, even my job had to wait. It was one of those times in life where everything comes to a screeching halt. You hit a brick wall, you come to a sharp turn in the road, a twist of fate and sense that things are about to be forever changed. There is nothing you can do to stop the inevitability, there is nothing to say, no wiggle room - you just deal with it. Sometimes in life, you have little choice but to drink from the cup that has been placed upon your table - no matter how bitter or how sweet the taste.
It was quiet, there was no noise, it was silent, it was perfectly still - just me and my mother alone together - with God.
Matthew 20:23
Matthew 26:27
Matthew 26:39
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